


Süßmission

by AceOnIce



Series: Submission/Domination [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Human, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bratting, Club Owner Magnus Bane, Dom Magnus Bane, Flogging, Friends With Benefits, Gentle Dom Magnus Bane, Kinda, Light Bondage, M/M, Non-Sexual Bondage, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painplay, Panties, Phone Sex, Pining, Praise Kink, Rope Bondage, Safeword Use, Sexting, Slow Burn, Spanking, Strangers to Lovers, Sub Alec Lightwood, Vibrators, Writer Alec Lightwood, but like lowkey, but not really because the author can't write slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:22:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25541284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: When Alec visits a BDSM club to do some research for a book he's writing, he doesn't expect to find an attractive and kind Dom in the club's owner. As Magnus teaches Alec the ropes, literally, Alec finds himself falling hard, wondering if Magnus could see him as more than a client.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Submission/Domination [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153208
Comments: 940
Kudos: 972
Collections: Read





	1. The Club

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lalelilolu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalelilolu/gifts).



> Alrighty~  
> First off, this is by no means an instruction manual. I did some research (and please correct me if I portray anything wrong), but always be sure to do your own research before trying something. Keep your play safe, sane, and consensual.  
> Be sure to read the notes for each chapter so nothing catches you off guard. I want your reading process to be enjoyable and I'm going to try to cover a lot of different aspects of BDSM in this fic so please read the warnings for each chapter and check the tags as they're updated.  
> Enjoy!!
> 
> Dedicated to Lale because she listened to me rant about this all the time and helped me with so much of it and came up with great ideas and sent me bondage tiktoks and inspired like 80% of this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec visits his local BDSM club to do some research for his novel and meets an intriguing Dom.

Walking into the BDSM club has Alec is instantly overwhelmed. The air smells of leather and sweat, and his eyes dart around the room, across pieces of furniture that he can't begin to imagine the uses for. A crowd is gathered in the middle of the room, watching two people on a slightly raised stage that Alec can't quite see from where he's standing.

The sound of a throat being cleared has him tearing his eyes away from the scene in front of him to the girl near the door, standing behind a table filled with three different colored wristbands. Each color section has a label. 

Dom. Sub. Switch. 

The girl raises an eyebrow at him, clearly waiting, annoyed with him for holding up the line. 

He grabs a yellow bracelet, _switch_ , and slides it on his wrist so he can move past the front table into the actual club. 

He’s already regretting his decision to write _this_ book, to conduct _this_ research. Especially if it means more days spent here, trying not to stare at the people being led around by leashes. 

Alec heads for the bar, needing some liquid courage if he’s going to stay longer than ten minutes. 

At the bar, he finds an empty stool near the end and slides into it. He attempts to order a cocktail only to find out they don’t serve alcohol. He supposes it makes sense in a BDSM club, but he’s still disappointed. 

The mocktail he gets instead is good, but it won’t have the same calming effect he was hoping for. 

He sips at his drink and pulls out his phone, opening the note app, jotting down what he’s already learned. It’s the very basics, only enough to give his story the briefest hint of setting, but it’s a start. 

He finishes taking notes, but keeps his phone in hand as he turns in the stool enough to take in the club once again. This time he allows himself to look towards the stage where an attractive blonde man is on is tied up and on display, a blindfold over his eyes. A dark-skinned woman circles him, running what Alec thinks is a flogger gently over his body. 

Alec is pretty sure he’s as surprised as the guy on stage when the woman suddenly pulls it back and lets it whip forward to land on the man’s bare ass. He's too far from the stage to hear the impact, but he sees the man’s reaction- the way he keens and pants and asks for more. 

The idea of being on display like that, vulnerable, is horrifying to Alec. But the man on stage seems to be enjoying it. 

“They’re good, aren’t they?” 

Alec _doesn’t_ jump at the sudden question, at the voice so near his ear. He merely jolts and spins to face whoever's joined him. Alec's words die in his throat when he sees the man that’s approached him. 

Like many of the club's patrons, the man is dressed primarily in leather. Dark leather pants cling to his figure, the bottoms falling over leather boots. His shirt is some kind of silk material, with only the bottom three buttons done up, leaving his chest- covered in an array of eye-catching necklaces- on display. The necklaces match the jewelry on the man’s hands and the cuff on his ear. His sleeves are rolled up enough for Alec to notice the red bracelet he’s wearing. A Dom then. 

As he tries to process what to do with that information, his eyes trail to the man’s face, taking in his golden-brown skin and dark eyes. Black hair styled up with blue highlights in his bangs to match his shirt. Dark kohl lines his eyes and there’s glitter on his cheeks. He’s easily the prettiest man Alec has ever seen. 

And he’s looking at Alec expectantly, waiting for Alec to answer a question he’s forgotten was ever asked. Luckily the man seems to realize Alec’s dilemma and gives him a small smile. “You’re new to this, aren’t you?” 

Alec feels his face warm. “Is it that obvious?” 

“It’s easy to tell who’s new to the scene by the level of discomfort in a person’s expression,” the man says, punctuating his words with a wink. Then he’s holding out a hand. “Magnus Bane.” 

Alec pushes his phone into his pocket so he can shake the man’s hand, his thumb skimming the intricate metal bracelet that goes from Magnus’ wrist, over the back of his hand to connect to a ring around his middle finger. “Alec. Lightwood.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Alec,” Magnus says as he releases Alec’s hand before taking the empty stool beside him. 

Alec turns instinctually, preferring to watch the gorgeous newcomer to the couple on stage. Magnus seems to be doing the same. “Have you experimented with it before?” 

Alec is instantly embarrassed by the question which seems ridiculous given their surroundings. His lack of experience doesn't help. He sips at his drink and shakes his head. His sex life has been pretty vanilla. 

“May I ask what made you decide to come here tonight?” 

“I, uh...” He sighs and leans against the bar, resigned to the fact that answering honestly is absolutely going to make him look like a nerd. “I’m doing research, for a book I’m writing.” 

“Isn’t that what the internet’s for?” 

“You’d think,” Alec mutters. “There’s a lot out there on this particular subject, but I don’t know how much of it’s reliable.” 

Magnus’ lips quick up. “So you figured you’d drop in to your local BDSM club and find out for yourself?” 

Alec feels a smile tug at his own lips as he realizes the ridiculousness of his own actions, at the situation itself. “Yeah, pretty much.” 

“Well, if you have any questions- for your research- I'd be glad to help you out.” 

“Have you been doing- uh, this, for a while?” 

Magnus chuckles at him as he accepts a blue drink from the bartender. “I have a decent amount of experience. In fact, if you’d like to see a typical contract between partners, I have some templates on hand.” 

Alec studies the man, confused by pretty much everything he’s said. But he _is_ curious about BDSM contracts. So he nods. 

Magnus takes his drink with him as he stands, but Alec’s is almost gone so he leaves it when he follows the other man past the bar to a hallway with a bodyguard in front. The guy steps out of the way when he sees them.

Alec is beginning to wonder just what he’s gotten himself into, but he follows Magnus into the hallway, the sounds of the club already beginning to fade into the background. Alec relaxes incrementally even as Magnus moves past him, down the hall to unlock a door with the name Magnus Bane on the front. 

Magnus holds open the door for Alec who ducks inside, taking in the new room. It appears to be a pretty normal office- not something he’d expect to find in the back hallway of a BDSM club, or any club for that matter. There’s a wooden desk in the center, Magnus falling into an office chair behind it, two cushy chairs in front of it. There’s a couch pushed against the wall at his side alongside a bookshelf which, upon closer inspection seems to be filled with only sex and BDSM-related books. The walls are a neutral yellowish color and the floor is done in soft carpet. 

“You can sit,” Magnus says, a hint of a smirk on his face. 

Alec slouches into one of the comfortable chairs in front of the desk. “Do you own this club?” 

Magnus beams at him, still sipping his drink. “I do. Here,” Magnus leans to shuffle through a drawer before placing a few papers on the desk and sliding them over. "Templates for contracts."

Alec hesitantly picks up the top one and reads over it. “And people just fill these out when they want to... participate?” 

“It’s not mandatory by any means, but it’s a good way to get the conversation going and address kinks and limits beforehand. Many couples go about it more casually, simply having conversations and trying stuff together. Strangers who decide they want to play might use these to get a good understanding of compatibility and, of course, to ensure things stay consensual.” 

“Can I keep this?” Alec asks, still focused on the paper in front of him and the seemingly exhaustive list of kinks. And yet there’s still spaces dedicated to writing in more. 

“Of course. May I ask about this novel you're writing?” 

Alec, as a rule, doesn’t talk about his books with anyone but his editor until they’re finished. But he feels like he owes Magnus something in exchange for his help. “Yeah, it’s a mystery. A guy who’s into this kind of stuff goes missing and everyone’s left trying to piece together what happened.” 

He’s surprised to see Magnus’ face close off as the club owner stiffens behind the desk. “That’s rather stereotypical, isn’t it? Let me guess, a Dom did it?” 

“I haven’t figured that part out yet,” Alec says slowly, shocked by the harsh criticism. 

Magnus sighs, leaning forward. “There are so many poor portrayals of BDSM in media. I appreciate that you’re doing the research, but the last thing this community needs is another book saying how awful it all is. Yes, there are people who take advantage of the situation or their partner, but that’s not unique to BDSM. It would be nice to see one piece of media that shows the monumental trust between partners.”

Alec nods, taking in Magnus’ advice. “Okay. Even if it wasn’t his Dom-” Alec tries desperately to refrain from blushing at the word, “I need to know how to write those scenes.”

Magnus raises a perfectly arched eyebrow, as if he’s surprised by how willing Alec is to listen to him. But Alec knows he isn't the expert on this, it's his whole reason for being here. 

“Is it an erotica mystery novel?”

The flush Alec had managed to hold back rushes to the surface, coloring his cheeks. “Not exactly. I don’t know. I want it to be realistic.”

“I’m only teasing,” Magnus tells him, an enthralling smile tugging at the other man's lips. “I applaud your efforts and I’m willing to help however you need it.”

Alec hesitates. Magnus sounds sincere but there’s a difference between asking someone to teach you about BDSM and asking someone to… _show_ you.

“I need to know what if feels like to submit someone like that,” Alec cuts to the chase, averting his eyes to Magnus’ fancy wooden desk. He realizes there’s a delicate glass dildo being used as a paper weight and somehow it doesn’t feel at all out of place. He keeps his eyes on the sex toy. “I’ve read about it, but it all seems so foreign.”

“You want to try subbing,” Magnus realizes, his voice light and suspiciously devoid of emotion.

Alec shrugs, looking back down at the contract. “I don’t know about trying all of this, but, yeah.”

“You’re very dedicated to your craft. Well, as I said, I’m more than willing to help you explore, if you’d like. Or I can find you someone else, Maia is excellent-”

“No, that’s uh- if you don’t mind, I’d prefer you showed me.”

“I would be honored.” 

The smile in Magnus’ voice has Alec finally looking up. He’s glad he did when he sees that smile stretched across Magnus’ beautiful face, lighting up his features. He hesitantly returns it with his own little smile.

Magnus pulls out two more sheets of papers. "I suppose we’ll have to draw up our own contract then.”

A spark of nervous excitement alights in Alec’s stomach as he leans forward to accept the template. Magnus is staring at him like he wants to devour him and Alec _can’t wait._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry y'all, the next chapter will be more exciting. Cuffs and ropes and spanking- oh my!


	2. Bondage and Spanking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For their first scene, Magnus introduces Alec to a bit of bondage and spanking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:  
> Bondage  
> Spanking  
> Partial nudity (Alec is in only his underwear)  
> Cuffs and a collar

The following Friday, Alec finds himself standing outside of the club, wiping sweaty palms against his dark jeans. After they’d drawn up their contacts, Magnus had suggested they meet in a week's time for their first session. Alec had been eager at the time, oddly excited despite his nerves. 

Now he just feels nervous.

But he’s not about to quit. 

When he gets inside, he heads straight for the hallway where Magnus is waiting for him. 

Alec feels his breath catch as the sight of him. He’d somehow convinced himself Magnus couldn’t possibly be as beautiful as he’d made him out to be the week before. He was wrong.

Dressed in the same tight leather pants and a new flowy purple shirt, Magnus seems to shine under the club lights. His jewelry sparkles around his neck and hands and the streaks in his hair are purple now. Still there’s a sort of gentleness to his features as he smiles at Alec. “Alexander, welcome back.”

Alec’s heart thuds in his chest as he wonders exactly what this night is going to entail. He manages a nod. “Magnus.”

“Come on, I have a private room for us to use.”

Alec follows the club owner down the hallway, past Magnus' office, to a different locked door. Magnus pulls out a key and unlocks it, gesturing Alec inside. 

It’s… not what Alec expected. The room looks almost like a normal bedroom. The lighting is soft and the floor is carpet. A bed sits pushed against one of the walls, a cushy couch at the other end of the room. Along one of the walls is what looks to be various… play things. And brightly colored spools of rope that hold Alec's attention a little too long. Last week h e’d put down that he wanted to try being tied up and he finds he hasn’t changed his mind about that particular kink.

“Have a seat,” Magnus says gently, lowering himself onto the couch.

Alec sits beside him, eyes still flitting over the room. 

“How are you feeling?”

Alec clears his throat, focuses on Magnus. It makes his heart beat faster because Magnus looks really good. “Fine. A little nervous.”

“Completely understandable. Just remember, all you need to do is say the word and we stop completely.”

Alec nods. They’d gone over safe-words and stop light systems. He fidgets with the blue wristband he’d picked up at the door. “Okay.”

“Let me tell you what I have in mind for the evening and you can tell me how you feel about it.”

Alec relaxes a little at the words, at the knowledge that he’ll know what’s going to happen before it happens. 

“I expect verbal answers Alexander.”

Alec swallows at the hint of dominance in Magnus’ voice, but it prompts him to agree, “okay.”

“Good. I don’t want to throw you in head first to the kinkiest stuff BDSM has to offer so I thought we’d start simple. If you’re up for it, I would like to have you mostly undressed for the evening. You can keep your underwear on, we won’t be doing anything sexual.” Alec tries not to be disappointed by that. “I would like you to wear leather cuffs on your wrists and ankles and a collar. Normally collaring is a sign of a long term relationship, but you mentioned your character has been with his Dom for a while. He likely would have been collared by this point.” Alec nods along, making a mental note to remember that for his story. “I want to tie your wrists, show you some common techniques, and spank you. When the scene ends, you’ll stay long enough that I can ensure you’re in a good state and unlikely to drop.”

It doesn’t sound like anything too much and his skin is tingling at the idea, his cock twitching in his jeans. 

“How does that sound? Is there anything you're unsure about? Any questions?”

Alec sucks in a breath so he can find the confidence to ask, “Isn’t spanking usually a punishment?”

Magnus hums, spinning one of his rings around his finger. “It can be. However many people enjoy it. Impact play is a common aspect of BDSM, it doesn’t have to be a punishment. I would do it just to acquaint you with the feeling.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. To all of it.”

He sees the corner of Magnus’ lips lift. “Perfect. Stand up and undress.”

Moving with only a bit of hesitancy, Alec stands. He pulls his shirt over his head, watching as Magnus moves from the couch to sit the nightstand beside the bed, retrieving a few items from it. He sets them on the bed next to a short spool of black rope as Alec steps out of his jeans.

Magnus stands near the bottom of the bed and gestures him over, “come stand in front of me.”

Alec moves, barely of his own volition, feeling a flush rise up his chest and into his cheeks as he positions himself in front Magnus. Magnus picks up one of his wrists and Alec watches as he fastens a golden cuff there, just slightly too big to be a bracelet. Magnus repeats the process with the other wrist before looking up at him. “Good so far?”

“Yeah.” Alec’s voice is a touch deeper than he intends. Magnus nods kneels to fasten matching gold cuffs to Alec’s ankles. When Alec looks closer he can see small hoops- _D rings_ \- attached to each one. Just big enough to thread the rope through. It sends a shiver down his spine. 

Magnus stands. “Now?”

“Good.”

“Still want to try the collar?” Magnus holds it up in offering and Alec’s heart skips, but he nods. And abruptly remembers Magnus’ earlier request.

“Yeah.”

Magnus fastens it around his throat, loose enough that he can slip a finger between it and Alec’s neck. It’s an odd sensation for Alec. A bit like wearing a tie that presses a little more closely to his skin. 

Magnus is watching him intently with kohl lined eyes. “What do you think?”

Alec tilts his head, stretches his neck a bit to feel the collar press against his skin. “It’s… not bad?”

“Tell me if that changes.” There’s no room for disagreement. “Now, hold out your hands.”

Alec does, watching as Magnus takes the black rope and loops it through the hoops on the cuffs before criss-crossing it over his wrists, up his forearms. He stops at the elbow. Alec sinks into the feeling of rope around his arms. It feels almost… comforting. Secure. 

“Alec?”

“Feels good,” Alec assures him, flexing against the rope just to see how it feels. 

“You like it?”

Alec hums. “Yeah. It’s… nice? It feels relaxing almost.”

“This is a common tie because it comes undone easily.” He picks up one of the strands of rope where it’s hanging from Alec’s elbow and tugs. The rope falls away, untangling itself until it's hanging from Magnus' hand to the floor. 

He shows Alec several more intricate ways of tying his wrists before doing the first tie again and instructing that Alec get on the bed, sitting against at the headboard, facing the wall.

Alec’s stomach swoops as he makes his way to the bed, climbing on a little awkwardly with the way his wrists are tied together. He rolls out his shoulders, sitting on his knees. He can’t see Magnus from this position and it’s a little nerve-wracking to feel so vulnerable. Still, he knows this is only the beginning.

He feels the bed dip beside him and then a hand on his forearm, a surprisingly soft touch. Magnus’ thumb sweeps back and forth over the skin there. “Relax Alexander, you’re safe.”

Alec turns his face enough that he can see Magnus, patient and relaxed, beside him. He takes a few breaths, focusing on letting the tension bleed from his body, centering on Magnus’ touch on his arm.

“There you go,” Magnus practically coos. Alec is a little thrown off by how much he likes that.  “You look gorgeous like this, you know.” 

Magnus’ fingers run over his arms, tracing the ropes, staring at the way it wraps around his forearms. “The black rope against your pale skin, I imagined it would look nice, but you far exceeded my imagination.”

Alec bites his lip as he feels himself growing hard at Magnus’ words. He hopes the other man can’t see the extent of the reaction Alec is having to his praise.

Magnus guides Alec’s hands up and Alec follows with his eyes, seeing the hook above the bed only when Magnus hangs the rope over it, keeping Alec’s arms suspended over his head.

“It’s a bad idea to leave anyone like this for an extended amount of time,” Magnus is saying, “because of blood flow, but I won’t leave your arms up too long. During longer scenes, there are more complex, full body ways of tying someone up. Arms can be tied in front of or behind the body, depending on the scene.”

Alec jolts as Magnus runs a palm down his back before taking it away. Crooking his neck, Alec is able to watch as Magnus slides the rings from his fingers. “Still want to try this? It’s alright if you’ve changed your mind.”

“No- I mean, yes, I haven’t changed my mind.” Alec glances away as he stutters over his words, body feeling hot even as his heart thumps nervously. 

“Alright.” Magnus’ hand is on his back again, gentle touches, trailing lower each time until he slides a finger under the waistband of Alec’s boxers. “May I? Just enough to be able to properly spank you.”

Alec nods, biting his lip again. It’s hardly the first time another man has undressed him, but it’s different when he’s vulnerable, tied up, and mostly naked while Magnus remains fully clothed behind him.

“Verbal answers,” Magnus reminds him, the slightest growl to his voice. It makes Alec shudder despite himself.

“Yes.”

“Much better.”

“You’ve never been spanked before?” Magnus asks as he pulls down Alec’s waistband. 

“Not since I was a kid.”

His answers draws a soft laugh from Magnus. He’s tugged down Alec’s boxers enough to leave Alec’s ass on display, but he’s just running his hand over Alec’s back and butt. “Trouble-maker?”

“Not me, my siblings. I was the oldest so anything they did…”

“I see. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

Alec is about to say that his sister has said the same thing when Magnus’ left hand comes down suddenly against his ass. He jolts on instinct, but it’s louder than it is painful. In fact, it barely hurts at all. 

“Good?”

Alec nods, wondering if it will hurt more as Magnus continues. “Good.” Magnus does it again, focusing his hand on one side of Alec’s ass. It still doesn’t hurt like he thinks it should. Magnus alternates sides for a moment before stopping. “How do you feel?”

“Fine,” Alec answers. He thinks that if he hadn’t been almost naked with an attractive man touching his ass, he would have been bored by the whole thing. 

“There are two common types of spanking. That was called thudding. It’s loud, but you probably noticed it didn’t hurt much.”

Alec nods, craning his neck so he can make eye contact as Magnus teaches him about the subject.

“It’s a good way to get a bit of sensory input while avoiding pain play. It can also give the illusion of punishment or simply add to the feeling of submission.”

“What’s the other method?” Alec asks, attempting to memorize at least the name of the style so he could research it later if needed. 

There’s a glint to Magnus’ eye at the question.  “Stinging.”

Before Alec can ask a question it, Magnus is pulling back his hand and bringing it forward again. It hits harder this time, sending pinpricks of pain across the surface area of skin that had come into contact with Magnus' hand.

Alec surprises them both by letting out a loud moan at the pain that blossoms in his ass. He feels his face go red and instantly looks at the bedding instead of Magnus, curling his hands into the rope because he feels a bit like fleeing, but _he’s tied up._

“Sorry,” he mutters to the blanket.

“Oh darling, you never have to apologize for making a sound like _that_ around me.” Magnus’ voice drips like sin, but it doesn’t erase Alec’s embarrassment. 

“I know you said it wouldn’t be sexual tonight-”

Magnus interrupts, “and it won't be. I don’t want to take that step until you’re more comfortable. But you’re allowed to enjoy it.”

Alec tries to understand. The embarrassment and guilt eases slightly as Magnus assures him it’s okay. “I didn’t expect…”

“To like it?”

Alec nods.

“That’s the point of experimenting. You find what you like and don’t like. You seem to prefer stinging to thudding. The pain to the noise.”

It’s a little embarrassing to hear it put so plainly, but it’s true. 

“Stinging,” Magnus continues, “uses a flat palm as opposed to the curved palm.”

Alec wonders if he can ask for more. Magnus had hit him at least five times with the thudding. But maybe his moan had made it weird, maybe-

“Would you like more?” Magnus asks, his voice just as soft as it’s been almost all evening. 

“Please,” Alec manages to choke out. He’s a little worried about how hard he is, about how much he enjoys this. But. He does enjoy it and Magnus is offering so-

_Smack._

Alec’s body sways with the hit. He doesn’t moan this time, but he can feel his breath hitch. More prickles of pain erupt. 

_Smack._ Magnus’ hand lands squarely on the left side of Alec’s ass, a smaller surface area. Alec purses his lips together to stay quiet, breathing faster than he should be. 

_Smack._ Magnus’ hand comes down across the center of Alec’s butt, fingers pressing into the area he’d hit the time before and the extra spike of pain has Alec dropping his head forward. He hadn’t known pain could feel so good. Well, he had. From an authorial standpoint, he’d understood some people enjoyed pain in these parameters. He just hadn’t ever imagined he would like it. 

_Smack. Smack. Smack._

Three hits in rapid succession. His right cheek, left check, center. He can’t stop the choked-off moan at the last one.

Then Magnus’ hand is on his back again, rubbing softly. The gentleness is almost too much and Alec is aware of just how hard he is. He wants to ask for more, but he also thinks that might be playing with fire. He's never come untouched before, but he doesn't want to start now, not when they're not meant to be doing anything sexual.

“I think that’s enough for tonight, what do you say?”

“Okay,” Alec breathes as Magnus carefully tugs his boxers back up over his waist. He flushes, knowing there’s no way for Magnus to have missed his erection. But the Dom doesn’t comment on it, simply moving to pull Alec’s hands from over the hook and then pulling the rope undone. 

A subtle soreness seeps into Alec’s arms and shoulders as they fall back below his head. He rolls his shoulders and then Magnus is picking up one of his arms, massaging his hand and forearm. “How do you feel?”

Alec takes a second to consider it. His ass hurts. He’s hard. His arms are a bit stiff. Magnus’ hands are on his wrist and are utterly distracting. His brain feels a little fuzzy. “Good. I feel good.”

Magnus smiles back at him as he begins unlatching the cuffs from Alec’s wrists that he’d all but forgotten he was wearing. He lets Magnus unhook them and then the ones around his ankles and then the collar. Magnus sets them all next to the rope on the nightstand, pulling a bottle out of it. “Lotion. For your ass. May I?”

Alec flushes but rolls onto his stomach, tugging his boxers down again so Magnus can spread the lotion over his skin where it’s still stinging. “It shouldn’t bruise, I was careful- you look like you bruise easily.”

“I do,” Alec admits. 

Magnus hums. “I bet you'd look gorgeous with bruises here and on your thighs. Some bite marks…” 

Alec sucks in a breath at the longing in Magnus’ voice, realizing that he might not be the only one affected by their interaction, even if Magnus is better at hiding it. 

Magnus finishes applying the lotion and Alec tugs his boxers back up as he sits on the bed, stretching out his arms. They’re already feeling normal again. 

“Would you like to be held?” Magnus asks as he puts his rings back on. “I’m sure you’ve researched aftercare, but it can be different for everyone.”

Alec hesitates, scratching absentmindedly at his palm and glancing at his clothing across the room. “Isn’t that for after someone goes into subspace?”

“Aftercare is crucial after any scene,” Magnus states, adjusting to recline on the bed, holding out an arm for Alec. “Come here.”

Alec moves instantly, curling into Magnus’ warmth. It’s almost awkward to be cuddling while he’s still half hard, but it’s also… comfortable. Magnus settles an arm around his waist and Alec leans into him.

“Aftercare can prevent sub drop. And Dom drop. And if just feels nice, especially after an intense or emotionally vulnerable scene, to be held.”

Alec can’t help but agree. 

It does feel nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed.  
> Next chapter will be temperature play.


	3. Temperature Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec tries temperature play and blindfolds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Kind of safe-wording.   
> Temperature play.  
> Blindfolds.  
> Rules.

Alec returns the next Friday, stomach alight with excitement. He's replaying last week's session in his mind, wondering what they’ll try today, as he passes through the center of the club. His steps slow when he notices the couple on stage. They look to be giving some sort of demonstration, the woman carefully suspended off the ground by a comprehensive series of knots in the rope that's wrapped expertly around her.

Alec watches for a moment, shocked by the look of peace on her face and the ability of the rope to suspend her entirely off the ground without hurting her.

Then, excitement is propelling him forward. He finds Magnus waiting for him at the hallway again. Like always, Magnus is dressed to capture attention. His jacket is sparkling under the club lights, almost like a dark shaded rainbow, over a dark shirt and slacks. A few necklaces decorate his chest and there’s a snake ear cuff coiled around his ear.

“Alexander.”

“Magnus.” He greets, feeling butterflies come to life in his stomach as he tries to guess at what they might do tonight.

Magnus leads him back to the same room, sitting beside him on the couch once again. “How are you today?”

“Excited,” he admits, fiddling with the band around his wrist. He notices Magnus isn’t wearing one, but before he can ask, Magnus is laying out his plans for the evening.

“I was thinking we could try temperature play today. You listed it as something you’re willing to try.”

Alec nods. He’s not sure about the particulars, but it hadn’t sounded as extreme as some of the other things on the list so he'd figured why not? 

“I have some massage candles and ice cubes. It’s fairly simple. Temperature play can feel better blind-folded but that requires a certain level of trust and I’m not sure we’re there yet.”

Alec doesn’t remind Magnus that he’d tied Alec up, free to do as he liked, the last time he was there and he can't see how this would require _more_ trust. Instead, Alec considers If he’d be comfortable wearing a blindfold.

“We can try it.” Magnus raises an eyebrow in question so Alec offers the little piece of knowledge he’s arrived at in the last few seconds, “I trust you.”

Magnus blinks at him, expression softening for a moment before he visibly gathers himself back together, fiddling with the cuff on his ear. “Thank you. You should be careful of trusting Doms you don’t know, but I do intend to prove you can trust me.”

“I do. You haven't done anything that would make me doubt you,” Alec states, thinking of Magnus’ gentleness the week before. He’d never associated softness with BDSM, but he was coming to realize just how wrong his perceptions had been.

Magnus clears his throat. “I’m glad you feel that way. If you’d like, we can try it with the blind-fold, but it’s your decision entirely.”

“I want to try it,” Alec responds instantly. Aside from truly trusting Magnus, Alec wants to try everything that doesn’t absolutely terrify him. “I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

“Okay. Well then, if you’re ready, we can start the same way we did last week. Undress and I’ll get the cuffs.”

Alec sheds his clothes quickly, already more at ease than the first time. Magnus returns with familiar golden cuffs which he secures around Alec’s wrists and ankles. All while Alec tries not to shake from anticipation. He wonders if he’ll enjoy it as much this week. Magnus fingers trailing over his neck as he latches the collar in place sends shivers down Alec's spine.

“Lay on the bed, make yourself comfortable,” Magnus instructs as he moves to the nightstand.

Alec sits on the bed before hesitating. “On my back or stomach?”

Magnus pauses, considering. “On your back for now.”

He reclines back, pressing a pillow under his head to support it. Then he watches Magnus sit on the edge of the bed, placing a candle, a lighter, and a blindfold on the bed next to him. He, of course, is still dressed to the nines which Alec thinks is a little unfair. His body finds it unfairly hot.

“You remember your safe word?” Magnus checks, picking up the blindfold.

Alec nods. “Pineapples.” It had been the first word he'd thought of when Magnus had asked him to come up with one.

“Perfect. And green for good, yellow for slow down, red for stop,” Magnus recites the traffic light system to him, fingers playing absent-mindedly with the blindfold in his hands. The motions make his rings catch the light, glinting and drawing attention to Magnus' long fingers.

“Yeah.”

Magnus hums. “How about we try something else out today as well?”

“What is it?” Alec can already feel the excitement thrumming in his veins at whatever Magnus is about to suggest.

“Rules. Call me sir and only speak when spoken to unless you need to safe word.”

Alec doesn’t expect his own breath to catch in his throat at the request. Before he can over think it, he’s exhaling a breathy, “yes sir.”

It's worth the momentary embarrassment when Magnus’ eyes darken. He trails a finger over Alec’s cheek, murmuring, “wonderful,” before he lifts the blindfold and secures it over Alec’s eyes. His vision gone, he tries to focus on the feeling of the bed under him, tries to listen for the quiet sounds of Magnus’ breathing.

“Color?” Magnus asks, his voice impossibly smoother.

Alec sucks in a breath, trying to will his body to relax. He’s been vulnerable with Magnus before, he’s probably less vulnerable not being able to see than he is tied up, so there’s no reason for him to be uncomfortable now. But he can’t deny that he is. He wasn’t lying when he said he trusted Magnus, but there’s something about not being able to see that puts him on edge.

“Yellow? Sir. I don’t…” He trails off, unsure if he can continue, how much he’s allowed to say. He picks at the blanket under his fingertips.

“Talk to me Alexander.”

He lets out a relieved breath. “I don’t like the blindfold. Sorry. Sir.”

The next moment, the blindfold is being pulled away and he’s blinking against the sudden brightness. Quiet relief settles in his chest as he takes in Magnus sitting beside him, expression soft.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

Magnus’ eyes roam over him, eyebrows creased in worry. “Do you want to try the temperature play still?"

“Please.” He doesn’t want one bad reaction to ruin the whole evening.

Magnus hums, expression shifting. “Please…?”

“Please sir,” Alec corrects himself, curling his fingers into the comforter, wondering how two simple words from his own mouth can make him feel so warm. It helps that Magnus is there, kneeling over him- lifting a leg to straddle Alec’s thighs.

“Much better.”

Alec watches as Magnus grabs the lighter and the candle, flicking the lighter to spark a flame. A pleasant vanilla smell drifts from the smoke once the candle is lit.

“Massage candles don’t melt like normal candles,” Magnus informs him, admiring the small flame. Alec is focused on how it brings out the golden tint to Magnus' skin. “They melt into oil instead of wax and it doesn't get as hot. The oil last for about thirty minutes without hardening so I’ll blow out the flame before we start. Couples and playmates often use them for erogenous zones, to get an exciting, new sensation.”

Alec glances at the flame, more than ready to get started. But he keeps his mouth shut, careful not to break the rules Magnus has barely set.

“The oil is good for your skin and can actually be left, though some find it _too_ oily and prefer to wash it off afterwards,” Magnus tells him before extinguishing the candle with a breath. “Ready?”

Alec nods eagerly, “yes sir.”

“Good boy,” Magnus lowers a hand to the outside of Alec’s thigh, a gentle, grounding touch that has Alec’s dick hardening. He’s instantly distracted from it by Magnus tilting the candle, just enough that few drops of almost clear oil fall from it, landing on Alec’s stomach. He hisses at the impact, the sudden and sharp points of warmth. It’s not painful, not burning. It’s just on the comfortable side of hot.

“Color?”

“Green.”

Magnus nods his approval, dribbling a bit more oil up Alec’s hairy chest. He sucks in a breath when a warm drop lands against his nipple as he realizes why people enjoy this.

Magnus is drips the oil in the inner curve of his elbow, a hot touch, too quick to bask in, but warm and teasing. It makes him ache for more. He bites down on his lower lip so he won't talk without being asked.

Besides, Magnus is already moving down Alec’s legs to hover over his calves so he can drip hot oil on Alec’s thighs. Alec can’t help the small twitch of his hips at the teasing pinpricks of heat.

Magnus continues teasing him with oil for another few moments before moving and instructing Alec to roll onto his stomach. When he does, Magnus begins tracing new lines with oil drops along Alec’s spine, at his hip bones, in the crease of his knees.

It’s all enough to have Alec hard in his boxers, desperately wanting more. Which is exactly when Magnus stops, sets the candle to the side, placing a hand against Alec’s back. His thumb rubs over a spot of oil. “What did you think?”

Alec blinks at the sudden question, almost jarring after the silence. “I like it. Sir.”

“Want to try ice?” Magnus asks, trailing his finger down Alec’s back. The light touch has Alec shuddering. The idea of anything _cold_ right then is unappealing, but he knows he won't get what he actually wants and he _is_ curious.

So he agrees. Magnus leaves for a moment before coming back to straddle Alec again, setting a bowl of ice cubes next to them.

Alec tenses, preparing for the cold, but the next touch is Magnus’ hand on his bicep. “Relax, darling.”

He makes a conscious effort to calm himself, inhaling and exhaling slowly until he’s more lenient in Magnus’ hands.

Then he feels it. The ice being dragged down the other side of his back. It’s not off-putting like he’d expected. The shock of the temperature makes it as appealing as the heat had been, especially when contrasted with the warmth of Magnus’ other hand still resting against his skin.

Magnus turns him over again and Alec sucks in a breath when he sees Magnus’ hungry expression. He wants to sit up and catch Magnus red lips with his own, wants to nibble at Magnus’ gorgeous neck. He settles on watching Magnus as he trails an ice cube down the side of Alec’s neck. His fingertips glance the skin beside it and they’re almost as cold as the ice, but soft. Alec wants to beg for more of his touch.

Magnus trails the ice down his chest, across his hipbones, dipping just below the waistband of his boxers. A droplet of water runs from there down the inside of his thigh, making Alec suck in a sharp breath.

Magnus sets what remains of that ice cube back in the bowl with a clang, but instead of getting up, he traces cold fingers tracing over Alec's lips. Alec can’t help the quiet moan against Magnus’ fingers, darting his tongue out quick enough to get the smallest taste of Magnus’ cold skin before the other man is moving away. Alec can feel his excitement when Magnus’ hips brush his as he gets up. It has Alec dropping his head back to the pillow, breathing harder than he should be considering he’s been merely lying there, accepting whatever Magnus gives him.

“How do you feel?” Magnus asks as he sets the ice bowl and candle on the nightstand.

“Horny,” Alec grumbles before he can think better of it.

It draws a startled laugh from Magnus so Alec can’t find it in him to truly regret saying the word. Alec pushes up so he’s sitting and holds out his wrists to Magnus expectantly. The Dom unlatches the cuffs from Alec’s wrists before moving to take the ones off his ankles. He sets them aside before leaning in to take off the collar.

“You’re not the only one. But I meant more, did you enjoy it?”

Alec nods as he moves, almost instinctually, to cuddle against Magnus as his body’s temperature stabilizes. “Yeah, more than I thought I would.”

Magnus hums, brushing his fingers through Alec’s hair. “So blindfolds are a no. Bondage, temperature play, and spanking are a yes.”

Alec groans, pressing a hand to his face. “Don’t remind me of that when I’m trying to calm down.”

Magnus chuckles again. “Sorry.”

Alec simply smiles in response, thinking he finds cuddling with Magnus way too comfortable given that they’re practically strangers. Then again, Magnus has seen a lot more of him, had him in more scandalous positions, than most strangers. Perhaps that’s why he feels so comfortable.

“Next week I want to try more rules, do a simple scene and see how well you can listen.”

Alec tries to tamp down the excitement the statement gives him. “What do I get if I’m good?”

“Do you still want to try a sexual scene?”

Alec resigns himself to the fact that he might just be half hard all night. It’ll be worth it. “Yes.”

“Then we’ll do that the next time, if you’re good. If you act up or can’t listen, we’ll talk punishments. Spanking perhaps.”

It sounds like a win-win. Alec is all too eager to agree.


	4. Submitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec submits more fully with hopes of earning a sexual scene next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Feeding.  
> Very slight exhibitionism.

The following Wednesday finds Alec sitting across from Lydia while she flips through the first few chapters of Alec’s manuscript. A mostly-full iced latte sits on the table beside her, sounds of Indie music and idle conversation drifting through the coffeeshop to where they’re sitting at a small table in the corner. It’s one of Alec’s favorite cafés to spend the afternoon writing in and a great place to meet up with his editor when she has notes. 

“So, who’s the guy?” Lydia asks as she reaches the end of the third chapter, all that Alec has completed so far. 

Alec can feel a blush threatening to take over his cheeks so he ducks his head and curls his hands around his mocha. Thoughts of warm brown eyes and a stern, but kind voice fill his head even as he plays dumb, “What guy?” 

“When you pitched this story idea, the Dom was supposed to be the kidnapper, but you’ve made him into a love interest. You’ve clearly met someone.” 

“What, are you a detective now?” Alec asks, frowning at the pages in her hands. She’s already gone through them, the papers stained with marks of red ink and notes in the margins. 

“Come on Alec, you almost never write romance, but the scenes between Matt and Harry? They’re… electric. Something must have inspired you.” 

Alec thinks it’s a little uncanny how his editor manages to see right through him. Still, the last thing he wants to admit is that he’s frequenting a BDSM club and pining over the owner.  Instead, he sips at his drink and shakes his head. “I decided to write something less cliché.” 

“Cliché?” Lydia repeats in a deadpan tone. 

“You know, the cliche that Doms are violent and untrustworthy. It reinforces bad stereotypes,” Alec rambles, wishing they were somewhere a little less public to talk about anything BDSM related. He doesn’t think anyone is listening, but he doesn’t want to risk it. 

Lydia raises an eyebrow. “If I didn’t know you so well, I would _almost_ believe you.” 

“Do you have any actual notes?” 

“Yeah, how were you able to write the description of the BDSM club so vividly? It’s almost like you’ve been to one.” 

Alec rolls his eyes, reaching over to tug the pages out of her grip so he can flip through them for her real notes. She had, as usual, printed the papers beforehand and scribbled her comments in red pen. “You sound like Izzy with all the personal questions.” 

“I’m just curious,” Lydia says, leaning back in her chair and sipping at her drink. “You wrote some very detailed scenes in this.” 

“I have a good imagination,” he deadpans, focusing on the plot and character notes Lydia had written out. 

“Alright, Lightwood, keep your secrets. Just keep up the good writing. You have a strong start.” 

He gives her a grateful smile and for the rest of their meeting, they stay, mostly, on topic. 

Two days later, Alec is practically vibrating with excitement as he strips down in Magnus' office. It's weird to be there instead of in the familiar backroom of Pandemonium, but Magnus’s eyes are heavy on him.

It’s the first time Magnus has actively watched him undress and it has his hair standing on end in the best way. He doubles down on his intent to do well today so next week they can do a sexual scene. He’s dying to have Magnus’ hands on his body and to explore Magnus in return. 

“Fold your clothing and set it on the chair,” Magnus instructs, standing to retrieve the cuffs and collar from the top drawer of his desk. Alec makes quick work of folding his shirt and jeans, even his socks, and putting them in a careful stack on the chair. It feels odd to do, almost anti-climatic, but he doesn't hesitate because Magnus had asked him to do it.

Magnus deposits the cuffs on the desk before sitting in his office seat behind it. “Put them on.” 

Alec tries to swallow his disappointment that Magnus won’t be the one putting them on him like usual. He picks up the ankle cuffs, kneeling to latch them around his ankles. Putting them on himself is almost humiliating, making clear his participation and enjoyment of his own powerlessness. He manages to get the left wrist cuff on as well, but his fingers keep slipping as he tries to fasten the right. 

“Let me,” Magnus offers, holding out his hands, silently requesting that Alec round the desk to stand before his chair.

“Sorry sir,” Alec says quietly, embarrassed that he’s _already_ failing- and at such a simple task. He stands in front of Magnus and holds out the cuff.

“Hush, darling, I will never be upset if you _can’t_ do something. You were listening and you tried, that’s all I'm looking for,” Magnus assures him, latching the cuff in place before holding out the collar for Alec. 

He places it around his own neck, shifting uncomfortably under Magnus’ gaze. The Dom's words have helped, have settled a nervousness Alec hadn’t realized was blossoming in his stomach. 

“Come, kneel beside me.” Magnus gestures to the cushion that had been placed by his chair before Alec had even entered the room. 

Alec does as asked, pressing his knees into the plush material, instinctually clasping his hands behind his back, straightening his posture. He’s rewarded with one of Magnus’ hands pushing through his hair. He luxuriates in the gentle scrape of rings against his scalp and a small tug before Magnus is moving his hand away. “You look delicious on your knees for me. You can’t imagine all the things I want to do to you.” 

Alec’s breath hitches and he bites at his bottom lip to keep from asking, from _begging,_ for Magnus to do anything he wants to him. 

“Stay there while I do some work. Tell me if anything starts to hurt, understand?” 

“Yes sir.” 

He sees the corner of Magnus’ lips tick up, his tongue darting out. Alec is overcome with the longing to taste it. To taste any part of Magnus. Instead he’s forced to kneel silently as Magnus shuffles through some paperwork. 

While Magnus works, Alec waits, focusing on keeping his body still. His thoughts don’t wander, his eyes firmly latched on Magnus, his attention on his own muscles, waiting for the soreness to set in. 

He's stiff, but not yet sore, when Magnus pushes aside the papers sometime later. He faces Alec again with a warm smile. “You’re doing perfect.” He opens another drawer from his desk and pulls out what looks to be a plate of grapes. “I want to feed you, but you don’t have to continue kneeling. You can stand or sit wherever you like.” 

Alec hesitates. He doesn’t think it’s an invitation, but Magnus did say... Before he can doubt himself, Alec is standing and sliding onto Magnus’ lap, resting on his thighs. He sets his hands gently on Magnus’ shoulders, feeling strong muscles under his silk shirt, to steady himself. 

If Magnus’ wide eyes and slightly ajar mouth are anything to go by, that’s not what he expected. Even so, tanned fingers fall to Alec’s hips, holding him in place. 

“Is this okay, sir?” Alec asks, voice quieter than he intends it to be. He’ll move if Magnus asks him to, but the feeling of strong thighs under his hips is the most beautiful form of torture. 

“You’re crafty,” Magnus remarks, sounding not entirely upset by it. He rubs his thumb against Alec’s bare hip, right above the waistband of his boxers. “But yes, this is fine.” 

Alec can’t help the small smile at knowing the risk he took had paid off. He relaxes on Magnus’ lap as the other man releases one of his hips to reach past him. His hand returns with a grape pinched between his thumb and index finger. Before Alec can even try to take it, he raises it to Alec’s lips, keeping eye contact the whole time. 

The moment his fingers are in reach, Alec is opening his lips, accepting the fruit, darting his tongue out just a bit more to lick the residual sweetness from Magnus’ retreating fingers. He sees Magnus’ breath hitch in his throat, and it sends a shudder through him as he chews and swallows the grape. 

Magnus feeds him another, his fingers lingering this time, the pointer finger tracing over Alec’s bottom lip as he eats the grape. It has his heart speeding in his chest, his dick beginning to harden where it’s pressed against Magnus’ legs. He’s sure his Dom can feel it, but he doesn’t give any indication of noticing, simply plucking another grape and pressing it to Alec’s lips. 

Alec chews it dutifully, maintaining the eye contact with Magnus, taking in the way the dark lines around his eyes bring out the colors in his irises, the way the mascara makes his eyelashes look so long and dark. The speckles of glitter around his eyes. He thinks it should be awkward, keeping eye contact while being fed grapes, but it only serves to turn him on further. He’s not sure there’s anything that Magnus could do that he wouldn’t find arousing. 

Magnus brings another grape, but rather than feeding it to Alec this time, he steals it for himself. Alec’s eyes drop to his shiny lips, wondering if they taste like any specific kind of gloss or if they would taste like grapes or like the rest of Magnus’ skin.

“You are too beautiful for your own good,” Magnus says suddenly. His voice is quiet, on the edge of being hoarse. 

Alec flushes and accepts the grape Magnus offers him, taking advantage of Magnus’ lingering fingers to suck one between his lips until Magnus draws back. He eats the fruit before responding, “Thank you sir.” 

“And you’ve been so good for me,” Magnus breathes, brushing his hand over Alec’s cheek. Alec leans into it, into the press of warm fingers and cold rings, into the feel of _Magnus._

"How do you feel about accompanying me into the club for a moment? I have to hand over these papers to an employee, but I know you’re unsure of being submissive in public. You’re, of course, welcome to say no if it makes you uncomfortable.” 

Alec takes a moment to consider it, trying to think past the haze of Magnus. He _is_ unsure, but he also doesn’t want to leave Magnus’ side. He glances down at his naked chest. “Can I put something on first?” 

“Of course. Go ahead and get dressed.” 

Alec reluctantly forces himself from Magnus’ lap. He circles the desk to pick up his clothing, pulling it on over the cuffs and collar. The pants hide the cuffs around his legs, but he rolls up the sleeves on his shirt so the golden cuffs on his wrists, as well as his collar, are on display. Then he looks to Magnus, finding the Dom watching with clear appreciation, a finger pressed to his lips. 

Magnus clears his throat, picking up a stack of papers as he stands. He hands the papers to Alec, letting their hands brush together for a fraction of a moment. “Hold these for me. Walk behind me. Don’t talk to anyone else. The rest of our rules apply and you can safe word at any point. Understand?” 

“Yes sir.” 

He’s still slightly hesitant about being a part of the general crowd in the club, but now that he’s clothed and has a very specific set of rules by which to abide, he feels more comfortable about it. 

Alec is only slightly nervous as he follows Magnus outside of the room, down the back hallway, into the open area. He keeps his eyes glued to Magnus’ back as they move through the throngs of people to a woman leaning against a wall in the back. She’s dressed all in leather, long hair pulled back in an intricate braid that reminds Alec too much of the way his own little sister styles her hair. 

Magnus greets the woman with a friendly tone while Alec stands behind them, feeling awkward at not being introduced or even allowed to talk, but more concerned with following Magnus’ rules than being polite. 

“Alexander, give her the papers.” 

Alec flushes at the clear command in Magnus’ voice, at the fact that he’s being ordered to do something in front of someone else. He steps forward and hands the papers over. 

“Thank you,” she tells him, already flipping through the papers. 

Alec glances at Magnus, a question clear in his gaze. Magnus nods, lips quirking up. “You can answer her.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alec says quickly before falling back behind Magnus. 

“If that’s all,” Magnus says to the woman. 

She nods. “Go have your fun.” 

"I intend to,” Magnus answers, before leading Alec back to his office. When they reach it, he turns and presses his hands to Alec’s cheeks, a sudden and very welcome display of softness that Alec leans in to. “You’ve done perfectly Alexander, we’re done for the night.” 

Alec releases a breath, nodding and shaking out his hands. “Okay.” It feels almost weird to not tack a ‘sir’ onto the end. 

“How do you feel? Should I take these off?” Magnus’ hand drifts down to the collar. 

Alec nods, letting Magnus remove the collar and cuffs while he tries to gather his thoughts to answer honestly. It’s a little distracting when Magnus kneels in front of him to remove the cuffs from his ankle. “I feel good. Almost... relaxed?” 

“That’s good.” Magnus sets the cuffs and collar on the desk. “You fell right into a submissive role like you were made for it.” 

“Thank you,” Alec says quietly, preening at the praise. 

“Next week I would like to move things to my loft, if you’re comfortable with that. As wonderful as the club is for scenes, it can be... a little sterile for sexual play.” 

Alec is agreeing instantly, imagining what their next scene might entail. “Yeah, I would like that.” 

“Give me your number and I’ll text you my address. For now, what do you need for aftercare?” 

They end up sitting in one of the more comfortable chairs, Alec in Magnus’ lap, strong arms wrapped around him, making easy, friendly conversation, until Alec builds up the will to tear himself away, already unable to wait for next week. 


	5. Sexual BDSM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec add a new component to their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to edit this. And I still need to write the next chapter so updates will be inconsistent. Sorry! I hope y'all enjoy!

The following Friday evening, Alec finds it odd to be standing outside of an apartment complex rather than the club. He knows Magnus is inside, knows they’ll do a scene here, but he can’t shake the feeling that he should be standing in front of Pandemonium. 

He shakes off the feeling, focusing on the fact that he's about to see Magnus again, and pulls open the door to the apartment lobby. As he does, he glances at his phone to make sure he’s in the right place- again. The latest text from Magnus has his address and a comment about being excited to see Alec again. It makes him feel warm in a way he thinks is a little too much to be a normal reaction to talking to someone who is nothing more than his professional Dom. Because, as much as Alec would like to take Magnus on an actual date, that’s not what this is. 

He stops in front of a door on the top floor of the apartment building, double checking the number before rapping his knuckles against the wood, praying he has the right place. 

His worries abate when the door swings open and Magnus is smiling at him from him inside. He’s dressed down in comparison to the kind of stuff he wears at the club. Instead of leather pants and boots, he’s wearing dark jeans and going barefoot. His shirt is the same silky material as usual but it’s buttoned up a little higher, covering more of his chest. He’s only wearing two rings- his signet ones with his initials, an ear cuff, and a necklace. Even his makeup has been reduced to just eyeliner. Alec can't help thinking he looks softer like this.

“Alexander,” he breathes, looking almost as excited as Alec feels. “Please, come in.” 

Alec steps inside, glancing around the large open space of Magnus’ loft and feeling only slightly out of place. “Hey Magnus.” 

“How are you today?” Magnus asks, leading him to the living room where Magnus drapes himself across one of the large armchairs. Alec sits on the edge of the couch across from him, too excited to relax onto it. 

“I’m alright.” 

Magnus' eyes rove over him and Alec straightens his posture, feeling as if he’s being sized up. “Do you still want to take things further tonight? I know we discussed trying a sexual scene, but you’re allowed to change your mind.” 

Alec swallows, thinking that Magnus has it completely wrong. Over the course of the last week, Alec had nearly rubbed himself raw with the amount of masturbating he'd done at the idea of what was coming. “Trying to get out of giving me my reward?” Alec attempts to tease, to lighten the atmosphere, before realizing that perhaps Magnus is the one with hesitations. He hurries to add, “Unless you don’t want to. I would never want you to do something you don’t want to.” 

“Trust me, darling, I want to.” Magnus’ voice is suddenly deeper, smoother, and it has Alec practically half hard at the implications. “I just wanted to make sure we don’t jump into something you’re not ready for.” 

Alec pulls in a long inhale so he can find the confidence to look Magnus in the eye and state, “I want this, anything you’ll give me.” He swallows and, because it feels right, because he wants to, he adds, “Please sir.” 

He sees the impact the words have on Magnus, the way his posture goes from lazing to upright, the sharpness that appears in his eyes. In a single moment he seems to shift into his carefully perfected Dom mode. “Be more specific Alexander. This is your reward after all, what would you like?” 

Alec pauses, caught off guard by the question. He’d expected Magnus to plan out the scene like usual. He doesn’t know where to start. “I don’t... I don’t know.” 

“How about I give you some suggestions?” Magnus offers as he stands and crosses the room, moving gracefully and dropping onto Alec’s lap, pressing their hips together. “And you can tell me what you want?” 

Alec nods, trying to think beyond the smell of sandalwood and how much he wants to taste Magnus’ lips- and why hadn’t he asked for that? “Okay.” 

“I could tie you to my bed,” Magnus says in a voice soft as satin, fingers skimming over Alec’s arms, a barely-there touch that has his hair standing on end. “And take my time exploring your gorgeous body. I could tell you not to come until you have permission and see how well you can follow that particular instruction. I could tease you until you’re truly desperate and begging for me.” 

Alec’s head is flooded with the ideas Magnus is murmuring between them. He rolls his hips forward, eyelids fluttering when he feels the outline of Magnus’ dick against his own. “I want to beg for you.” 

“Would you like to be tied to my bed while I tease you?” Magnus asks, his hand dropping to the hem of Alec’s shirt, playing with the bottom of it, brushing his fingers over Alec’s hip. 

“Please,” Alec whispers, unable to look away from Magnus’ lips, so close to him. He struggles to put his thoughts into words. “Please, can I taste you first sir?” 

Magnus’ breath catches and then his other hand is moving from Alec’s arm to his neck, gently angling his face up to crash their lips together. Alec moans into Magnus’ mouth when he nips at Alec’s bottom lip before pushing his tongue into Alec’s mouth. He tastes better than Alec could have ever imagined, and his hands come up to curl into Magnus’ shirt without any conscious thought. 

Magnus kisses him until his lips are tingling with hints of pain, keeping it slow and deep, rolling his hips against Alec’s every so often. When Magnus leans back, he’s breathing hard and there’s a subtle flush to his cheeks that has Alec desperate for more. He leans forward, trying to follow, trying to get more, but Magnus maintains a space between them.

“Gorgeous,” Magnus murmurs, his thumb tracing Alec’s spit slick lip. “We should move this to the bedroom before I maul you right here.” 

Alec bites down his response that he wouldn’t be opposed to that, and lets Magnus help him to his feet, leading him down the hall to a bedroom. And if Alec watches Magnus’ ass sway as he walks, he feels it’s justified. He is only human after all.

Magnus’ room is simple but enticing with its giant bed and shiny red sheets. Magnus stops him in the doorway and tugs on Alec's shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Alec moves however Magnus directs him, letting the Dom undress him for once. He cherishes every brush of Magnus’ fingers against his skin as he presses Alec to sit on the bed so he can pull off his shoes and socks and jeans. When Alec is dressed in nothing more than his black boxers, visibly tented with his arousal, Magnus steps away. 

Alec can’t help but pout, watching Magnus move to the dresser across from the bed. He wisely keeps his mouth shut but watches with interest as Magnus pulls out a short red rope and the usual golden cuffs and collar. Alec’s heart thumps in his chest and he automatically moves back on the bed, towards the headboard, holding his arms out in front of him. 

Magnus joins him on the bed, straddling Alec’s knees so he can press the cuffs into place before moving forward and kissing Alec softly while he latches the collar. When he leans back, his lipstick is smudged in a way that makes Alec feel an odd sense of pride, sparking something deep in his stomach. 

Magnus ties the rope over Alec’s arms, ending in a knot at his elbows. Alec recognizes it as the same knot he’d done the first time he’d tied Alec up. The rope is the same comforting restraint, a hold he easily gives himself over to. 

“Is it loose enough?” Magnus asks, sliding a finger between Alec’s arm and the rope to check. 

“Green,” Alec murmurs, leaning forward to kiss at Magnus’ jaw because he can. 

Magnus leans into it for a brief moment before his hands travel to Alec’s bare shoulders, pushing him back onto the bed, guiding his tied hands over his head. “Relax, darling.” 

Alec barely resists pouting, keeping his hands over his head even when Magnus releases them. “I want to taste you though, want to feel you.” 

“And you will,” Magnus promises, gentle fingers trailing Alec’s sides, lips pressing kisses to his neck. “Just relax for now.” 

Relaxing is difficult given their situation. It feels almost uncomfortable to even try. Sex has always been a two-party thing, something Alec had thrown himself into with fervor in the past. To simply lie back and let Magnus do all the work seems counter-intuitive. It's somehow odder than letting Magnus tie him up or spank him or dribble wax along his skin. 

He wants to complain, but one of Magnus’ hands has drifted up to the collar to tap the leather, a reminder. “You’re going to be good for me, aren’t you?” 

Alec swallows, curling his hands into the pillow where they’re resting. He does want to be good for Magnus. And he doesn’t want to find out what will happen if he’s not. Unless... he doesn't follow that thought. He hopes there will be time enough for that later.

“I’ll be good sir,” he promises. 

“I know you will,” Magnus states, pressing a light kiss to his lips. It’s all too fleeting and suddenly Magnus is moving away, down his body, to nip at the skin above his waistband. “Can I leave marks?” 

Alec sucks in a breath at the idea of wearing Magnus' marks. He nods eagerly. “Please do.” 

That’s all the incentive Magnus needs to begin sucking a mark on the inside of Alec’s right hip. The slight pain when he bites down has Alec trembling. 

Magnus sucks and nips his way across Alec’s hips and over his abs. “I want to try flogging sometime,” Magnus says, almost conversationally. “Your skin is so pale, I bet the marks would look divine.” 

Alec groans at the thought of it. He’s heard flogging is painful. He wonders if he’ll like it as much as he’d enjoyed being spanked.

“Please, Sir.” 

“What do you want?” Magnus asks, moving his mouth to Alec’s nipple and taking the bud between his teeth, just hard enough to hurt. It has Alec attempting to lift his hips, desperate for friction, restricted by Magnus hands, pressing him lightly into the mattress. That easy display of control over his body is almost as attractive as the way Magnus is peering up at him while biting at his nipple. 

“Want you, sir,” Alec manages, still struggling to vocalize exactly what he wants. He’s always preferred actions over words, especially in situations like this, but he’s determined to be good. 

“Hm? What do you want from me?” Magnus moves down his body, dragging his boxers down his legs and tossing them away. But he skirts around Alec’s dick to latch onto his thigh, sucking a bruising mark. 

“You- your mouth, please.” 

Magnus pulls back from the bruise he’s left, soothing it with a small lick before smiling mischievously up at Alec. “All you had to do was ask.” 

Then he’s licking at Alec’s dick, small, short licks at first only to turn into longer licks before he sucks the head of Alec’s cock into his mouth. 

Alec moans at the warm, wet heat of Magnus’ mouth. He keeps his arms over his head despite his desire to reach down and run his fingers through Magnus’ hair to find out if it’s as soft as it looks. 

“Please,” Alec manages through the haze in his brain that’s centered around the feeling of Magnus’ mouth around him, Magnus’ hand stroking the base of his dick. “Please, sir.” 

Magnus pulls off his cock with a lewd pop. “Be more specific Alexander.” 

Alec closes his eyes so he can find the confidence to ask Magnus, “Please blow me sir.” It makes his cheeks fill with color, the act of asking for what he wants when it’s something so... _vulgar_... is embarrassing. And yet, his erection doesn’t wane at all. Magnus is so close to his dick, his hands warm and reassuring on Alec’s hips. The rope around his wrists is a steady comfort, a reminder that it’s okay to ask, that it’s okay- encouraged even- to _beg_. 

"Only because you ask so nicely,” Magnus murmurs against his thigh before sucking Alec down, hollowing his cheeks around him. 

Alec groans, already on edge from all the teasing. He feels like he’s two seconds away from falling over that cliff, but he wants to be good so he asks, “Can I come?” 

Magnus moves away and he shivers at the cool air against his dick where before there was Magnus’ warm mouth. 

“If you beg for it,” Magnus tells him, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his thigh. 

Too keyed up to find any residual embarrassment, the words spill from Alec’s mouth, “Please, please sir, let me come for you, wanted to come since that first time, wanted your hand on me, your mouth. Please sir.” His last words are exhaled on a moan as Magnus deep-throats his cock, fondling Alec’s balls with his hand. 

Magnus uses the other hand to scratch his nails down Alec’s chest and that’s all it takes to have Alec coming with a choked-off gasp, hips twitching. 

Magnus swallows it all and slides off Alec’s dick, somehow looking surprisingly put together despite having just given a world-class blow job. 

Alec can only murmur a litany of ‘thank you’ to Magnus as he comes down from the high- until Magnus reaches up to untie the rope around Alec's wrists. He shakes his head, trying to find words. “Don’t, please, not yet.” 

“Alec?” Magnus checks, brushing a strand of hair lightly from his forehead. It feels like _more_ than it should. It gives Alec hope that this might become more than sex, more than research help. 

“Don’t want to be done,” Alec manages to say, the fog in his brain clearing a bit. “Want to make you feel good.” 

Magnus’ kohl-lined eyes widen slightly. “You don’t have to-” 

“I want to.” Alec manages to sit up, dropping his tied hands in his lap. It brings him closer to Magnus’ tempting lips, but he focuses on his words. “Let me sub for you a little longer? I’ll make it good.” 

“Oh, I know you will,” Magnus responds, a hand carding through Alec’s hair, tugging gently. “How do you want to do this?” 

Alec pauses, considering. Using his hands is pretty much off the table with the way they're bound unless he asks Magnus to untie them, but he’s reluctant to do so. He’s tempted to offer his ass, he can only imagine how good the steady slide of Magnus’ dick in him would feel. But that seems like too much right now. It’s something he hopes will come later. 

For now, he brushes his lips over Magnus’ jaw. “Can I use my mouth sir?” 

He hears Magnus’ breath catch, feels the hand tighten in his hair. “Do you think you’ve earned that?” 

Alec pulls back, blinking, surprised by the question. “I... no, but I want to, want to show you how good I can be.” 

Magnus nods, looking like he approves, dropping his hand from Alec’s hair and moving so he’s no longer straddling Alec’s body. “I want you kneeling on the floor.” 

Alec nods, stumbling from the bed to the carpet beside it before sinking to his knees. Magnus peels off his silky shirt, putting strong, golden abs on display, before stepping off the bed to tug his jeans down. 

Alec can only stare because under Magnus’ jeans are a pair of lacy white panties. They’re failing to contain his erection, the tip of his dick peeking through the top, already wet with precome. 

When Magnus hooks his thumbs under the waistband, prepared to lower the underwear, Alec makes a small noise of complaint. “Leave them on?” 

Magnus pauses before realization sinks into his voice. “You like them?” 

“So much,” Alec breathes, leaning forward to nuzzle Magnus’ dick through the soft lace before he remembers he’s supposed to be _earning this._ He swallows and forces himself to look up, to meet Magnus’ heated gaze. “Please sir, can I taste you? Can I make you feel good?” 

“You may,” Magnus allows, his hand making its way back into Alec’s hair. Alec instantly leans forward, licking first at the precome dripping from the tip of Magnus’ dick. Magnus lets out a breathy curse. 

Alec takes it as encouragement, wrapping his lips around the head of Magnus’ cock, lips brushing the lacy material of his panties. He half wishes his hands weren’t tied so he could _feel_ the way the material stretches over Magnus’ dick, the way it hugs his ass. 

At the same time, Alec loves being on his knees, almost helpless, as if Magnus could use him for his pleasure and just take what he wants. But Magnus isn't doing that. Magnus is being gentle even in the way his fingers comb through Alec’s hair, the praises falling from his lips, but the knowledge that he _could_ \- that Alec wouldn’t be able to do anything but kneel there and take it has him on the verge of getting hard again. 

“Come on Alec,” Magnus breathes when Alec laps at his head once again. “I know you like the panties, but I need more.” 

Alec hums around him before pulling off. He manages to grasp the waistline of Magnus’ panties between his teeth and pull the fabric carefully down, freeing Magnus' dick, so he has better access. Then he licks up Magnus’ cock before sucking in as much of it as he can. 

If Magnus’ moans are any indication, it’s the right move. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot, so perfect for me on your knees like that.” Magnus’ hips jerk and Alec forces down his gag reflex to take Magnus deeper. 

He hums around Magnus’ cock and the other man is coming. Alec swallows and pulls off, letting Magnus step out of the ruined underwear, tossing them away before he helps Alec up. Alec lets the Dom untie his arms, unlatch the cuffs and collar and set them aside. Strong, but soft hands trail over his arms, massaging the places where the rope had left light marks. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Good.” Alec answers instantly. He’s a bit more hesitant to ask for what has become their customary aftercare given their states of complete undress. 

Magnus seems to notice, or expects it anyways. “Would you like a bath or cuddles? Food?” 

He should probably take a shower first, he knows he’s worked up a layer of sweat, but when he opens his mouth, it’s “cuddles” that comes out. 

Magnus doesn’t complain or argue, simply leads him back to the bed, situating them so they’re spooning, Alec’s back curled into Magnus’ chest. He’s only slightly distracted by Magnus’ soft dick against his lower back. 

“We’re going to do more sexual BDSM right?” Alec asks, trying to keep his eyes open because he knows if he relaxes any more, he’s going to fall asleep. And, while he’s still learning about BDSM, he doesn’t think it’s normal to fall asleep in your Dom’s arms. Magnus isn’t even _his_ Dom, not really. Magnus doms for him, but Alec knows there’s a difference. 

“Of course. How else would you get the information for your book?” 

Alec snorts despite himself. His book is practically writing itself at this point, fueled by the time he spends with Magnus. “Okay. Good.” 

Magnus doesn’t answer, just holds him tighter. For a moment, Alec can pretend they’re more than just an odd version of friends with benefits. He can pretend that Magnus would truly want to hold him, for reasons other than being a good Dom by doing his best to prevent subdrop. It’s a dangerous thought, something that hits too close to home. 

Still, Alec can’t find it in him to complain though when he’s so comfortable. 


	6. Phone Sex And Bratting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A teasing picture turns into phone sex and Alec decides to try being a brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexting, phone sex, mentions of flogging, orgasm denial, mentions of vibrators, Alec being a brat, mentions of lingerie.

Alec is grateful he’d decided to write at home rather than a cafe when he gets an unprompted text from Magnus that includes a picture of a black leather flogger. Alec's cheeks flush, regardless of the fact that he’s alone, before he even reads the accompanying text. 

**_Magnus:_** _Cleaning my equipment. I believe we mentioned flogging?_

Alec swallows as arousal bubbles in his stomach. Images a clothed and composed Magnus tying him up and flogging him fill his imagination and he finds himself quickly hardening at the idea. He wonders what the pain would feel like, if he would enjoy it. If Magnus would soothe the ache afterwards with soft hands and lotion the way he had when they tried spanking.

Alec scoots back in his chair, abandoning the chapter he’d been writing so he can focus on texting Magnus. He thinks through his response several times before he bites the bullet and presses send. 

**_Alec:_** _Have I been that naughty? Here I thought I was doing so well._

As soon as it sends, he bites his lip and wonders if it was too much, if he even got his teasing tone across through the message. He knows he’s going to drive himself insane if he simply sits and waits for a response, so he gets up and sets about making an afternoon coffee. He nearly drops the milk container when his phone vibrates at his desk. He sets down the milk and rushes over to open his newest message.

**_Magnus:_** _You’ve been perfect. But I get the sense that you’re trying to get a rise out of me now._

A small smile spreads across Alec’s face because it seems Magnus has understood and is willing to participate. But, if he wants to be sure…

**_Alec:_** _I definitely want to rise something ;)_

He hits send and then groans as he rereads. It sounds like a line out of a bad porno. At least, he thinks, it makes his intentions clear. Magnus’ response is almost immediate. 

**_Magnus:_** _As terrible as that line was… what are you wearing?_

Alec grins, entirely forgetting about the coffee he had started making. It’s unimportant compared to this. The chance to not only sext with Magnus, but to be a brat to him, to _earn_ the punishment he’s craving the next time they meet in person. 

**_Alec:_** _Would you believe me if I said nothing but lacy lingerie?_

**_Magnus:_** _I’d ask for pictures for proof._

Alec chuckles to himself as he stumbles towards his bedroom, tossing his shirt off on the way. He settles onto the bed and responds. 

**_Alec:_** _“For proof”. Sure._

He discards his jeans and boxers, kicking off his socks and making himself comfortable on the center of his mattress, wishing Magnus was there with him. Although, if he was, Alec doesn’t think he’d have the nerve to keep up the attitude and this is fun. 

**_Magnus:_** _No picture then?_

Alec considers the question. He’s never been a huge fan of sending nudes, but for Magnus? He doesn’t think he’d mind. Then again, a picture would only prove he’d been lying. 

**_Alec:_** _What do I get if I send one?_

**_Magnus:_** _You really are trying to earn the flogging aren’t you? If you send a picture, I’ll_ consider _letting you cum today._

**_Alec:_** _You’re hardly here to stop me._

He wraps his left hand around his dick and gently tugs on it, stifling a moan, imagine Magnus’ hand wrapped around him. Magnus’ hand is a little smaller than his, smoother, and warmer. He pictures it running over his body. 

**_Magnus:_** _No, but I can always punish you for it. If you come without my permission today, I won’t let you come on Friday._

Alec can’t help the small, petulant, whine that escapes his lips at the threat. As much as he wants to get himself off today, he knows he’ll want it more when he's with Magnus. He releases his dick and pulls up the camera on his phone, taking a slightly blurry photo of his erection. 

He sends it with the words, _Happy?_

**_Magnus:_** _I don’t see any lacy lingerie._

Alec rolls his eyes, trying to ignore the aching in his cock, the desire to stroke himself.

**_Alec:_** _I asked if you would believe me, I never said I was actually wearing it._

**_Magnus:_** _Well I suppose this is almost as good. Although now I don’t think I’ll get the image of you in lingerie out of my head. Perhaps one of these nights I’ll dress you up and show you off in the club and then take you back to a private room for my own little show._

Alec’s eyes widen as he reads the paragraph Magnus had sent, his arousal growing at the image Magnus has put in his head. It’s not something he’s sure he would enjoy in reality, but in theory? Discussing it like this? Magnus showing him off? Admiring him? Alec likes that.

**_Alec:_** _I hate to disappoint, but I don’t own any lingerie._

**_Magnus:_** _Not yet._

Alec sucks in a breath, wondering how serious Magnus is about seeing him in lingerie. It’s not something he’d be opposed to, even if he prefers seeing Magnus wearing it. Before he can formulate and type a response, his phone is vibrating with a call from Magnus. He hurries to accept. 

As soon as he does, Magnus’ voice is greeting him. “How are you doing?”

“I’m hard and unsatisfied, how are you?” Alec asks as dryly as he can manage in his current state. He scrapes his nails lightly over his thigh, trying to distract himself from where he really wants his hand, but all it does is push him closer to the ledge Magnus has told him not to fall off. 

“I am admiring the photo you sent and having a wonderful time with the vibrator I keep in my office.”

Now that he’s mentioned it, Alec can hear the faint buzzing over the phone. He groans and curls his hand into the blanket under him, precome dribbling from the tip of his cock as he imagines what Magnus is doing with the toy. “Really? This is so unfair,” Alec complains, a slight whine in his voice. 

“I’m not the one bratting off,” Magnus responds, his voice breathier than usual.

Alec groans, dropping his head back against his pillow. “Please let me come?”

“Hmm,” Magnus makes a noise like he’s considering, but it turns into more of a moan than anything. “Not today. In fact, I don’t want you to come until Friday.”

“What?” Alec jolts up into a sitting position. It’s only Monday. He can do it, but why would he want to? Especially when he has the images from last Friday living in his brain. “Why?”

“It’ll make it better,” Magnus promises, his voice hitching. “I’ll make it good for you, give you the best orgasm you’ve ever had. But only if you can wait.”

Alec pouts, knowing Magnus can’t see it. He forces himself off the bed, tugging on the boxers he’d discarded. He hisses around the pleasure-pain of forcing his hard dick under the cloth, but he needs to do _something_ or he’s going to come untouched just listening to Magnus. 

“I’ll wait,” Alec promises, begrudging. 

“There’s my good boy,” Magnus practically coos.

Alec paces his room, listening to Magnus’ quickened breath and the faint humming. “Tell me what you’re doing?”

“What’s the magic word?”

Alec rolls his eyes, but he can’t stop a small smile that he’s glad Magnus can’t see. “Please, sir?”

There’s a longer moan after the words before Magnus tells him, “I’m in my office at Pandemonium, fucking myself with a vibrator, wishing it was you. I want to tie you down and ride you.”

“Fuck.” Alec’s voice comes out almost hoarse. “We can do that. I want you to fuck me first though. Your dick is perfect, it felt so good in my mouth, I can only imagine what it would feel like in my ass.”

Alec’s face burns at the vulgarity of his own words, but it’s worth it for the sounds Magnus is making on the other end of the phone.

“Yes, your ass,” Magnus manages, sounding almost choked. “Want to paint it red and then fuck you, have you screaming my name.”

Alec moves on instinct, reaching down and squeezing himself through his boxers. It’s both too much and not nearly enough. He's going to need an ice cold shower after this. 

“Come for me, Sir? Let me hear you, please.”

There’s a cut-off moan before the faint buzzing disappears and the line goes suspiciously quiet. Alec can’t help but remember what Magnus looks like when he falls apart, the way his eyes fall almost closed, his mouth opening ever so slightly. Alec swallows hard, thinking his promise is going to be harder to keep than he could have guessed.

“Did you come?” Alec asks though he already knows the answer.

“All over my desk,” Magnus responds. “You won’t get yourself off until Friday?”

“I promise.”

“Good. I was hoping something like this might happen when I sent that picture, but I had no idea you could talk like that. Your mouth is filthy.” He says it like a compliment, a praise. 

“I’m a writer,” Alec reminds him, “I’m good with words. I need a cold shower now though.”

Magnus hums in acknowledgement. “You should be writing erotica. Go, take a shower. I need to clean up.”

“Make a mess of your office?” Alec teases as he reaches his bathroom and strips out of his boxers, carefully avoiding his half-hard dick. 

“You’re a menace,” Magnus growls back at him, “and it’s wonderful. I wouldn’t have taken you for a brat.”

Despite everything, Alec feels a swell of embarrassment beneath his pleasure. “I want to be good for you, but… it was fun to… act out a bit.”

“Well we can definitely explore that further,” Magnus promises. “Enjoy your shower- though not too much.”

Alec huffs, “Enjoy cleaning up.”

There’s a soft chuckle. “I look forward to seeing you on Friday, Alexander.”

“Me too, Magnus.” He doesn’t mean for his voice to come out so soft. He hopes Magnus doesn’t notice, doesn’t realize he wants to see Magnus because he wants to see him and not just because he’s not allowed to orgasm until then. 

There’s a brief pause and then the line goes dead and Alec sets his phone on the sink so he can shower off, letting his arousal fade. He can’t help thinking he’s absolutely screwed- and not only in the good way. 


	7. Flogging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets the punishment he earned- and a little reward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the chapter title suggests, this chapter has flogging. It's mostly flogging.

The following Friday, Alec is less hesitant about showing up at Magnus’ apartment. He’s not sure if that’s due to having been there before or because of his pent up arousal and excitement. Both of which only grow stronger when Magnus opens the door wearing a pair of sweats and a sleeveless zip-up hoodie that shows off his strong arms with every move.

Alec wants to lean in and kiss him- now that he knows what Magnus tastes like he thinks he’s become addicted. But, as he has to frequently remind himself, that’s not what this is. So, instead, he greets Magnus with a smile. The smile he gets in return is almost as good as a kiss.

“Hello Alexander, how are you feeling about today?”

Alec knows what he’s referring to and the mention makes his cheeks flush, try as he might to stop it. “Good,” he says, voice huskier than he means for it to be. “Before we do that, though, I have a research question.”

Magnus blinks, but nods, leading Alec into the living room where they sit on two large side-by-side chairs. Alec sits at the edge of his, too keyed up to relax. “So, for the scene I’m writing, I need to know what it would feel like to have my hands tied improperly.”

Clearly Magnus can see where this is going because his eyes widen, smile vanishing. He looks sufficiently unsettled. “You want me to tie your hands improperly?”

“You don’t have to,” Alec is quick to assure him, seeing the reluctance in his posture. “It’s just- I want to be able to write the comparison realistically. I could have someone else do it, but I - I trust you.”

Magnus looks away, playing with a silver cuff on his ear. It’s the first time Alec has seen the other man even mildly uncertain and it unsettles him. “I’m not sure… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t have to," Alec says again. "But if you did, it wouldn’t have to be tight enough to hurt, just enough that I could tell the difference, but if you don’t want to, I understand.” He can ask Lydia or Jace to do it, like he normally would when it comes to ordinary book stuff. Sure, he _wants_ it to be Magnus, but not if Magnus is opposed. Not if it would make Magnus uncomfortable.

“Alright,” Magnus agrees slowly, dropping his hand back to his lap and turning to face Alec. He looks more composed, but there's a hint of worry in the tension around his eyes. “But you need to tell me right away if anything hurts or feels too tight.”

“Of course,” Alec promises instantly. “Thank you Magnus.”

Magnus nods and stands, “Wait here.”

Alec stands, but stays in the living room, studying Magnus’ furniture and decor. He hadn’t dedicated much attention to it the last time as he’d been more than a little preoccupied by Magnus, but now henotices just how nice Magnus’ loft is. And, he realizes, after a moment of observation, there are [little crochet butt plugs with button smiley faces](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/621863351043227680/756232918627778630/image0.png?width=260&height=435) adorning Magnus’ coffee table. They’re surprisingly cute.

Magnus returns a moment later, a white rope in his hands. “Roll up your sleeves?”

The instruction is unexpected. Alec is so used to stripping when they get started that he’d already started reaching for the hem of his shirt. But he supposes this isn’t really the same. This isn’t _playing_ the way they normally do. So he takes it in stride, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows and folding his hands behind his back.

Magnus moves behind him, placing a hand on his forearm. “I suppose, it would be like tying a shoe…” He sounds like he’s talking to himself as much as he is to Alec so Alec doesn’t respond. The rope is being looped around his wrists moments later, looser than usual. Magnus ties it off at his wrists in a simple double knot.

Alec experimentally moves his wrists, testing if he can get to the tie and if he could undo it. He gives up after a moment of useless struggling. “Okay, that’s all I needed.”

Right away, Magnus is untying the rope and letting it drop away from Alec’s wrists. He comes to stand in front of Alec as he rolls the rope back into loops. “You’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” Alec assures him, showing his wrists, completely free of any rope burn or marks.

Magnus studies them before nodding. “Okay. Actually, before we start, I have a question for you as well. And remember, it’s completely okay to say no.”

“Okay,” Alec says, only a little worried. He knows Magnus won’t get upset if he declines. So far Magnus has been nothing but understanding.

“Next month I’m hosting a kink convention at Pandemonium. I’ll be demonstrating proper bondage techniques and I need someone to sub for me. I can always find someone else, but I would like to have you on stage with me, if you’re up for it.”

Alec hesitates. His first instinct is to decline, because he’s still unsure about doing any of this in public. But his brain latches on to Magnus’ comment about finding someone else and suddenly he’s picturing Magnus domming for someone else, tying someone else up on stage. It makes him feel a little sick.

“Can I have some time to think about it?”

“Of course!” Magnus sets a hand on his bicep, squeezing gently. “Take your time. I just need to know by the end of this month so I can make accommodations.”

“I can do that,” Alec promises, pushing the offer to the back of his mind. He can figure it out later, when he’s doing something less important than being around Magnus. “Can we… play now?”

Magnus smiles with a quiet darkness that makes Alec’s stomach flip in the best ways. It’s like a switch has been flipped and Magnus is suddenly every bit the confident Dom he becomes when they scene. “You sound eager.”

Alec doesn’t try to fight the shiver that Magnus’ voice sends down his spine. “I am.”

“Eager to be punished?” Magnus questions, raising a brow.

Alec bites his lip and doesn’t respond. He _is_ eager to find out what it feels like to be flogged, but he thinks answering affirmatively will only provoke Magnus.

Magnus chuckles at his silence. “Alright then. Strip for me, fold your clothes and leave them on the chair then go to my room and kneel beside the bed, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Alec sets to work undressing as Magnus disappears into a side room. He’s a little disappointed that he’s left taking his clothes off himself again after last week’s change, but he swallows it down and focuses on what’s to come.

Walking alone and nude through Magnus’ apartment is an odd sensation that has Alec wanting to cover himself and run in the opposite direction. He finds a bit of comfort when he reaches Magnus’ bed and kneels next to it, instinctively clasping his hands behind his back. And then… he waits.

He worries his lip between his teeth, a little nervous and wishing Magnus hadn’t sent him in there alone, but wanting to do well, especially after being able to test Magnus a bit last time. He does want to do that again, see how much he can get away with, see how much it takes until Magnus punishes him, but right now he wants to atone. He wants to be good. For Magnus.

“Wonderful,” Magnus’ smooth voice jolts him out of his thoughts. Alec looks up to see the Dom standing in the doorway, a flogger dangling from one hand, a collar and cuffs in the other, a black rope looped around his wrist. Magnus sets the flogger and rope on the bed before approaching Alec, carding one of his hands through Alec’s hair. Alec leans into the feeling, into the small praise. “I’m going to cuff and collar you now. Hands up.”

Alec’s hands are over his head faster the moment Magnus requests it. Magnus attaches the cuffs to each wrist before guiding Alec’s hands back down to his sides and latching the collar around his neck. Alec already feels himself steadying as other parts of him grow more excited. 

“I think the best way to go about this will be to have you bending forward over the bed,” Magnus muses, “I can tie your hands above your head or leave them untied.”

“Tied, please,” Alec says, eyes darting to the rope.

Magnus nods. “Alright. Before we get started…” He picks up the flogger and holds it for Alec to see. Alec is surprised to find it’s suede rather than leather. “You can feel it. There are all different sorts that can be used. I have softer ones, but you seem to enjoy a bit of pain.” He quirks an eyebrow and Alec nods, too captivated to be embarrassed. He catches one of the tails between his fingers for a moment to feel the material against his skin.

“I’ll start with soft strikes and, if you don’t mind those, we’ll progress to harder ones. There are places that should never be hit with a flogger or whip, along the spine, for instance,” Magnus runs the tails of the flogger over Alec’s spine, barely a brush of contact that has his skin breaking out in goosebumps. “Anywhere bony should be avoided. Is there anywhere else you would prefer I stay away from?”

Alec shakes his head. Aside from trusting Magnus completely, he’s aware that the other man would know much more about where it’s safe to hit and where it isn’t.

“Verbal answers darling,” Magnus says in a warning tone, brushing the flogger across Alec’s shoulders.

“No sir.”

“Good boy,” Magnus praises. “But you weren’t good for me last week, were you? You wanted to be a brat.”

Alec’s cheeks flame, but he forces himself to apologize, “I’m sorry sir.”

“You earned your punishment, as you so aptly put it. However, just because this is punishment, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to safeword. If it hurts, if you don’t like it, if you want to stop and talk about something, you will never be punished for safewording. Understand?”

“Yes sir.”

“On your feet, bend forward over the bed.”

Alec hastens to comply, stretching his arms over his head and resting the side of his face on the silky comforter. He feels entirely on display like this, but it’s beginning to bother him less and less.

“What’s your safeword?”

“Pineapples,” Alec says instantly, body tight with excitement.

Magnus continues to run the flogger tails along his body. “And the traffic light system?”

“Green for good, yellow for slow pause, red for stop,” Alec recites.

“Perfect. Now, there are several different ways to flog someone. I’m going to start with single strikes, to allow you to adjust and decide if you like it.”

The flogger stops and vanishes from his skin, and a moment later Magnus is carefully tying an intricate pattern around his arms. Alec presses into the rope, basking in the increasingly familiar comfort of being under Magnus’ care, the physical proof of his expertise and dedication.

The first strike is light, the briefest hint of pain to it, landing across Alec’s right ass cheek. Still Magnus pauses to check, “How did that feel? What’s your color?”

“Didn’t feel like much,” Alec answers honestly. “Green.”

The next strike lands on the left side of Alec’s ass, slightly harder. There’s a bit of a sting to it, but not much. Magnus asks again and Alec gives the same answer.

The third strike hurts. A stingy pain that has Alec jolting and his cock hardening. The pain fades almost as quickly as it had appeared. Alec's answer changes this time. “It hurt a little. Green.”

“I’m going to show you another technique now,” Magnus says in response. Alec nods against the blanket. “It’s called cyclic flogging.”

He knows the meaning of the word, but it’s still a surprise when the flogger comes down in four quick strokes over his ass, forming a figure eight shape. There’s a bit of a sting that has him breathing harder, but it’s clear Magnus hadn’t been using as much force as the third single strike.

“Color?”

“Green,” Alec chirps, resisting the urge to grind down against the blankets. Magnus had promised him an orgasm tonight if he was good. He had been good. He could wait a little longer.

Magnus goes back to single strikes, hitting hard enough that the sting starts to last. When he switches to the cyclic, the quick lashes against stinging skin have Alec groaning, head feeling fuzzy with endorphins.

“Green,” he says when Magnus pauses, before he can ask. “Green, green, green.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you would enjoy this so much,” Magnus says, a gentle palm stroking over the lightly stinging skin of his ass. “But you look as lovely as I predicted with red a red ass. I can keep going, but it will bruise.”

Alec nods against the bed, only aroused further by the idea of wearing any kind of mark that Magnus leaves on him. “That’s fine, sir, more please.”

“Count them now, tell me if your color changes or you need to safeword.”

“Yes sir,” Alec breathes, knowing this will be the shift from Magnus teaching him about flogging to actually fully employing it.

Magnus uses cyclic flogging again, leaving Alec’s ass burning in the best way. “One sir.”

He shifts to measured single strikes along Alec's thighs. At the first impact, Alec can’t help the moan he lets out, surprised by the change in location. “Two sir.”

Alec continues to count as Magnus uses the flogger to turn the skin of his ass and thighs red, occasionally switching his pattern to catch Alec off guard. It’s all enough to have Alec desperate, whining against the blanket, dick leaking below him. His brain feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton and nothing exists except this moment with Magnus. This beautiful, perfectly painful moment.

He gets to fifteen before Magnus stops, rests a hand on his butt, and asks, “How do you feel?”

“So good,” Alec slurs.

“Can you get on the bed?”

Alec takes a moment to figure out if he can, his thoughts slow. He’s shaking slightly as he gets his tied arms under him, but Magnus is there to help. He ends up laying on his back, hands resting on the pillows above his head, knees bent to protect his sore skin from the material of the blanket.

“Were you good this week?” Magnus asks, stroking a finger along Alec’s cheek.

Alec nods, struggling to speak through the haze in his head. “Waited. All week.”

“Good boy.” There’s a gentle press of lips to his, a hand wrapping around his erection, smearing his pre-come along his dick, providing a slick, gentle grip. “Would you like to come now?”

Alec whines, hips bucking up at the mere suggestion. The movement makes the pain flare and he luxuriates in it. “Please.”

“Shh, just lay back,” Magnus breathes before settling between Alec’s thighs. Alec doesn’t have the time, or the mental abilities at moment, to realize what’s happening until Magnus’ mouth is on him, sucking him down.

Alec lets out a sound he doesn’t even recognize, something he didn’t know he was capable of making until it spills from his lips. Magnus hums and the vibrations have Alec already at the edge, spurred on by the way Magnus is able to take him entirely into his mouth. Alec can feel his cock hitting Magnus’ throat, but the Dom holds it there for a moment before sliding off to lavish the head with attention.

Alec is caught between the sensations of the rope around his arms, the pain in his legs and ass, and the delicious heat of Magnus’ mouth around his dick.

Magnus bobs his head, hands curling around Alec’s thighs. A finger presses against sensitive skin and the soft pain of it has Alec coming undone. He’d like to blame it on not getting off for a week, but he knows it’s less to do with that and more to do with how much he had enjoyed the pain and how much he enjoys Magnus.

He’s too fucked out to do anything but attempt to catch his breath as Magnus moves off his cock and around to the side to untie his arms.

“How do you feel?” Magnus asks, massaging one of Alec’s arms.

All Alec can manage is a quiet, “Green.”

He’s aware of Magnus moving around beside him, but he’s still floating, too caught up in lingering sensations to wonder about it. Then Magnus is massaging some kind of lotion to his arms. When he finishes that, he coaxes Alec to roll over so he can apply it to the lash marks.

By the time he’s done, Alec feels a little more aware, but he’s still too content and out of it to do much besides roll over and wrap an arm around Magnus. Being the good Dom he is, Magnus is quick to hug Alec to him, running his fingers through Alec’s hair, whispering praises.

Alec isn’t sure how long they stay like that until he comes down enough to realize, “You didn’t come.”

“It’s alright,” Magnus replies, noting his distress. “There’s a difference between sex and BDSM, Alexander- even when BDSM includes sexual elements. This scene wasn’t about me getting off, it was about exploring something and rewarding you.”

“But… didn’t you want to?”

Magnus stifles a small laugh against his hair. “If you’re asking me if I was turned on, of course I was. But I didn’t need an orgasm to enjoy scening with you.”

“So you did enjoy it?” Alec clarifies, suddenly feeling needy, wanting to know that he hadn’t been alone in his enjoyment.

“Immensely. Having you submit to me is intoxicating. The way you reacted to every lash, the fact that I was able to give you pleasure through pain and then just pleasure… You’re stunning like that.”

Alec turns his face into Magnus’ chest, hiding his blush. “I think I reached subspace.”

“Did you like it?”

“A lot,” Alec admits. He knows this is supposed to be research for his book, that now that he knows what it’s like, he shouldn’t keep wanting to do it. But he’s long since the point of lying to himself that this is only his book.

Magnus rubs a hand over his Alec's back, “Then that’s all that matters.”


	8. Safewords

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's Friday night plans with Magnus don't go as well as he'd hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thanks to [ Lalelilolu ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalelilolu/pseuds/Lalelilolu) for betaing and helping me to finally post this after having it, unedited, in my drafts for a month
> 
> Warnings for blind folds, a bit of sensory play, and safewording.

Alec spends the next week considering Magnus’ offer to sub for him at Pandemonium during a demonstration, but he’s still no closer to making a decision. He can’t decide what makes him uneasier, putting himself on display- even just to be tied up- in front of strangers or knowing that Magnus is tying someone  _ else _ up while he’s at home alone, wanting to be tied up by Magnus.

At least his writing is going smoothly; he’s almost at the end of the first draft. He throws himself into it to avoid making the decision he knows he’ll have to make. He describes sub space in so much detail that he begins to worry Lydia might confront him about it. At least she’s been less invasive lately, too content with how quickly he’s writing to risk deterring him by asking questions about his private life.

When the following Friday rolls around, Alec is no closer to making up his mind about Magnus’ offer, but at least he’s made decent work on his novel. Thoughts of his work leave his mind as he takes the elevator up to Magnus’ apartment, replaced by excitement. He doesn’t know what they’ll be doing tonight, but he can’t wait to find out.

When Alec gets to the loft, he’s greeted by Magnus, dressed in silky sweatpants and a robe. Despite his casual outfit, Magnus has taken the time to put on makeup and style his hair into a perfect quiff. Alec is almost embarrassed to realize that seeing Magnus in a more relaxed look just makes him want the Dom more. It seems it doesn’t matter  _ what  _ Magnus wears- Alec is always going to want him.

“Would you like something to drink before we get started?” Magnus offers, gesturing towards the coffee table where he’s left what looks to be an empty coffee cup.

“I’m alright,” Alec declines quickly, eager to get to the exciting part of the night.

“Very well.” Magnus drops into one of the large chairs, nodding for Alec to sit in the other.

Alec reluctantly lowers onto it, realizing that they’re going to have a talk before they start. He knows it’s necessary, he needs to have some idea of what’s going to happen, but after last time he just wants to get to the part of the evening where he’s entirely at Magnus’ mercy.

“I want to do some more sensory play tonight,” Magnus starts, setting Alec’s body alight at the mere mention. “Temperature play, pain play, and other techniques that I haven’t yet introduced you to.”

“Okay,” Alec agrees instantly. He’s enjoyed every aspect of their sensory play thus far and he is half hard in his pants already, mind racing as he considers what tonight will consist of.

Magnus’ lips turn up in a smile in response to Alec’s obvious eagerness. “I know we tried a blindfold the first time we played with temperature and you didn’t like it. Would you like to try it again? It can make the sensations stronger, but only if you’re comfortable with that. We can absolutely play without a blindfold.”

Alec hesitates, thinking back to that second time they’d scened together. The blindfold had made him uncomfortable, but everything had been newer back then. He hadn’t known how to let himself fall completely yet, to be utterly powerless.

“I want to try it with the blindfold. It’s used for a reason, right?”

“It can make it more exciting when you don’t know what’s coming next and therefore enhance the sensations,” Magnus confirms, speaking a little more slowly. “Are you sure?”

Alec nods, curling his fingers into the material of his jeans in excitement. “Yeah, I trust you.”  _ If only Magnus knew how much. _

“Okay. You remember your safewords?”

“I do.”

“Good. Use them if you need to,” Magnus says, “or if you want to change anything or talk through something.”

“I will.”

Magnus pushes off the chair to stand up. “Good. Then we can begin.” He turns without another word and, after a split second, Alec rushes after him. He follows Magnus to his bedroom where a rope and the golden collar and cuffs are already set out on the duvet. The sight makes Alec’s lips turn up, heartbeat quickening.

Magnus picks up the rope and begins undoing the tight spiral it’s kept in. “Strip.”

Alec doesn’t think he’s ever moved faster in his life. He nearly falls over trying to pull his socks off. He hopes Magnus doesn’t see, but when he glances up there’s a hint of a smile on Magnus’ face that suggests he’d noticed, even if he’s still looking at the rope in his hands.

Alec feels his cheeks darken, but he shakes it off and reaches for the cuffs, only to have his hand gently slapped away.

“I didn’t say to put it on yet,” Magnus says evenly.

Alec huffs, shifting his weight. He’s getting more used to being nude around Magnus, but it’s easier when he’s preoccupied with tasks or sensations. “Then what should I do?”

“Sit on the edge of the bed.”

He does as he’s told and Magnus sets the rope down to pick up the cuffs. Alec can’t help the way his cock twitches when Magnus kneels between his legs. Magnus snaps the cuffs onto his ankles, pressing a kiss to the inside of one of his knees, making him suck in a sharp breath. It’s so… sweet. It makes something scarily close to hope bloom in Alec’s chest.

Magnus continues to latch the wrist cuffs and then the collar, dipping down for a long, open-mouthed kiss as he does. Even when the collar is latched, his hands stay on Alec’s throat as he continues to kiss him slowly.

Alec presses up into it, head fuzzy at the feeling of Magnus’ hands on his throat. There’s no fear, no worry, only trust and arousal. Alec basks in it.

When Magnus pulls away, his lipgloss is smudged and his pupils are wide. “Lay on the bed on your back, hands above your head.”

Alec is too caught up in emotions to even attempt to be a brat. He does as Magnus asks and is rewarded by Magnus tying his wrists to the headboard.

“Are you sure about this?” Magnus asks after stepping away and returning with a blindfold between his fingers.

Alec’s heart skips and he’s not sure it’s entirely due to excitement, but he takes a breath, reminds himself he trusts Magnus, and nods. “Yes.”

Magnus slides the blindfold over his eyes. “Can you see?”

“No sir,” Alec answers, trying to adjust to the sudden darkness. He curls his fingers into the ropes around his hands, trying to ground himself. There’s a small pit in his stomach that comes with having his sight taken away, but he keeps his breathing steady and reminds himself that he  _ enjoys  _ putting himself in Magnus’ hands, having his freedom and control taken away. This is something fun.

“Color?” Magnus asks. The sound of his voice is calming, but not as nearby as Alec would like.

Alec bites his lip, shifting slightly. The soft silk sheets suddenly feel itchy and hot against his skin. But he wants this. He wants to trust Magnus with this. “Green.”

A moment later he feels the lightest scraping sensation rolling over his chest. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s unfamiliar. Alec’s eyelashes flutter against cloth as he blinks, trying to find out  _ what  _ Magnus is doing. He can’t feel Magnus’ touch anywhere and it puts him on edge.

He takes in another breath, his attention being forced to the prickling that’s rolling slowly down his stomach. His muscles twitch, but he can’t fully enjoy it. He’s too busy wondering what’s going to happen next, what’s causing the sensation, where  _ exactly _ Magnus is.

“Color?” Magnus asks again as the sensation stops. It leaves Alec with nothing to distract him from his wandering thoughts, gaining speed and traction as he realizes that even if he wants to remove the blindfold, he can’t. Because his hands are tied up. And usually that grounds him, comforts him, but now it feels like too much. He’s aware that he’s losing track of his breathing, how it’s speeding up, but he’s trying to ground himself, trying to focus on the feeling of the bed under him and the smell of Magnus’ cologne in the air. It only reminds him of his lack of vision.

“Alexander?” Magnus’ voice is sharp, probably with worry but Alec can’t think too deeply about that because he can’t see Magnus’ face, he has no nonverbal cues to go off of. “Color?” A hand gently lands on his arm, but it makes him jump, the touch unexpected.

It brings him back to himself enough to swallow and force out the words that he knows will end the scene altogether. “Red. Pineapples. I can’t- I-” His voice drops off, but it doesn’t matter because Magnus is already tugging the blindfold off.

Alec realizes he’s shaking as the bedroom comes back into view. It helps monumentally even as he blinks against the sudden light. He concentrates on slowing his breathing while Magnus frees his wrists from the headboard.

Magnus is murmuring in his ear in a comforting tone, soft reassurances like “I’m here,” and “you’re alright.” The cadence of his voice loosens the tension in Alec’s body slowly but surely. His hands are freed and then the collar is being taken off and he wants to protest that, but he doesn’t have the words for it. 

Magnus removes the cuffs and then kneels before him to unlatch the ankle ones. “Alexander, how are you feeling? Talk to me.”

“Sorry,” Alec mutters, not sure what else to say. He’s not even sure what he’s apologizing for. For safewording? For not trusting Magnus? For not saying something sooner? For ending the scene before either of them could enjoy it? For not being a better Sub?

Magnus hushes him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You have nothing to apologize for. Are you alright? What do you need?”

Alec is still struggling to speak so he gives up and simply moves, collapsing onto Magnus’ lap, wrapping his arms around Magnus’ shoulders. He clutches the silk robe between his fingers and buries his face against Magnus’ neck.

Magnus’ arms come up to hold him around his waist, stabilizing and comforting him. “I’ve got you, just breathe. You’re doing perfect.”

Magnus holds him like that until he calms, his thoughts slowing and his breathing returning to normal. It’s then that Alec realizes he’s stark naked and huddled against Magnus- who is still clothed in at least a robe and pants. The embarrassment begins to set in as he moves away, despite not wanting to leave the warmth of the embrace.

“I’m going to get dressed,” Alec says, avoiding Magnus’ gaze as he gets off the bed.

“Alright. I’ll make us some tea and we can talk.”

Alec nods, already dreading it. He knows they have safewords for a reason, but he can’t help wondering if this is a deal breaker. If Magnus will want to stop domming him now. He forces himself to put those thoughts to the side as he tugs on his clothes.

He’s still a little nervous and a little embarrassed when he joins Magnus in the kitchen, the Dom already sitting at the kitchen table, a kettle on the stove. Alec hesitantly sits across from Magnus.

“Are you feeling better?” Magnus asks, worry clear in his voice and face.

Alec nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. I shouldn’t have asked to wear the blindfold.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Magnus says again. “You didn’t know you would have that reaction and when you did, you used your safeword. I’m proud of you Alexander, you did well.”

Despite his confusion, Alec feels his chest swell with pride. “I did?”

“Absolutely. I need to know I can trust you to safeword and you need to trust me enough to feel comfortable expressing any discomfort. I know it’s disappointing when a scene doesn’t go as planned, but these things happen and I’m just glad you were able to tell me when you needed to stop.”

Alec relaxes slightly as he hears that. “Yeah, I do trust you. That’s- I didn’t want you to think I didn’t, because I safeworded. I trust you, I just, I didn’t like the blind fold.”

“I know,” Magnus says, offering him a small smile. “You trusted me to stop when you used your safeword.”

“Of course,” Alec breathes as he comes to the realization that the trust he feels for Magnus goes deeper than what he’d previously believed to be possible. He not only trusts Magnus to care for him when he submits, he trusts Magnus to understand when he can’t. He trusts Magnus to stop, to not judge him.

Alec can’t stop the small smile that crosses his face. “I want to sub for you at the demonstration.”

Magnus blinks at the sudden topic change. “This- this isn’t because you feel  _ guilty _ is it?” Magnus asks carefully, “Because you did well and I don’t want you to put yourself in a bad situation because you think you owe it to me.”

“That’s not it,” Alec responds instantly. “I trust you Magnus- completely. Here or around other people. I might need some practice doing this in public, but I- I’m not scared of it anymore. I want to do it.” When Magnus doesn’t respond right away, Alec’s stomach drops. “Unless you changed your mind or found someone else-”

“I haven’t,” Magnus interrupts, getting up to fetch the whistling kettle. He begins pouring two cups of tea. “I would love to have you as my sub at the demo. I just wanted to be sure it’s what you want.”

“It is,” he says with complete certainty.

“And what kind of tea would you like? I have black, green, and herbal.”

Alec gets up to sort through the different teas. “Can we still do the scene we were going to? Not tonight- and without the blindfold. I want to do the sensory play, I just- I need to be able to see.”

“Of course,” Magnus agrees easily, handing him a mug of hot water so he can place the tea bag he’d chosen in it. “If you’d like to come back tomorrow evening, we can do it then, since I know you were hoping today would go better.”

“Really?” Alec eyes fly up to meet Magnus’. “We could do it tomorrow? I won’t have to wait a week?”

Magnus chuckles. “We can. I’m just as excited as you are, you know.”

It seems hard to believe, but it’s also comforting to hear that Magnus enjoys this at least somewhat. Alec thinks it’s impossible that Magnus is enjoying it as much as him.

“Okay, tomorrow.”

“For now, would you like to watch something while we drink our tea? If it’s alright with you, I’d prefer you stay here for a little while longer, so I can make sure you don’t drop. Safewording can be a bit of an ordeal.”

Alec nods in agreement, already feeling immensely better. He’s not going to say no to spending more time with Magnus.

They move to the couch and Magnus holds him while they watch a rerun of some old comedy show. Alec thinks there’s a thousand ways the night could have gone worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I'm a little overwhelmed with school and work and kinktober and inktober, but hopefully I'll be posting a lot more next month!


	9. Sensory Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec re-do the ruined scene without a blindfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves* Hello!  
> Sorry for the wait, but I'm going to try to get a lot more of this written for NaNoWriMo and hopefully be able to start posting weekly!
> 
> Warnings for  
> Sensory play  
> Anal sex

The next day, Alec finds himself bound to Magnus’ bed once again- sans the blindfold. They have yet to actually begin, but Alec is already naked, wearing only the golden cuffs and collar, his hands tied to the headboard.

Magnus stands beside the bed, an assortment of toys spread on the nightstand beside him. Alec has avoided looking too closely at those, wanting to maintain some element of surprise even if he prefers to be able to see what’s happening.

Magnus is more hesitant now, checking in with him once he’s tied down, asking how he feels more than necessary. Alec has to assure him three times that none of his worries from the day before remain. He’s only excited and, as he tells Magnus, a bit impatient at this point.

The Dom rolls his eyes at that. “Don’t be a brat.”

“What if I want you to punish me?” Alec says before biting his lip, the slightest bit nervous as he waits for Magnus’ response.

But Magnus simply quirks a small smile. “I’m not opposed, but today I’m going to give you the option to be good and earn an orgasm or, if you insist on mouthing off, you’ll get spanked, but you won’t be allowed to come.”

Alec groans at that, scowling, but muttering, “Fine, I’ll be good.”

“There’s my good boy,” Magnus coos, bending down to press a too quick kiss to Alec’s lips. When he pulls back, he offers, “Perhaps your reward will include some spanking, since you like it so much.”

“Yes please,” Alec breathes, distantly remembering the sting of Magnus’ hand against his ass.

Magnus grins before turning to the table beside him. He picks up something that looks like a torture device with the amount of spikes on the wheel at the top. But Magnus rolls it against his own hand without so much as a grimace. “I’m going to start with the Wartenberg wheel. It’s a pretty standard tool in BDSM.”

He lowers it to Alec’s chest and rolls it slowly down his muscles. It doesn’t hurt like Alec expects. There’s a slight scratch, but mostly it’s cold metal pressing against him. It leaves goosebumps behind and Alec vaguely recognizes the feeling. “You used this yesterday, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Magnus confirms, lifting the Wartenberg wheel.

Alec nods. He hadn’t been able to focus on the sensation when he'd been so overwhelmed, but now he finds he enjoys it.

“Now, remember the rules we used the first time we played. No talking unless you're safewording or begging,” Magnus instructs before adding, "Or if I ask you a direct question. Understand?"

“Yes sir,” Alec complies, melting a bit at the heated look he gets in response. Then Magnus is back to dragging the wheel along his skin, down his leg this time. Alec’s muscles twitch even as he tries to press into it.

“Just focus on the feeling,” Magnus says softly, pressing the wheel to Alec’s other thigh, just a bit harder. The scraping feels like it’s almost enough to break the skin, and the thought has Alec’s cock beginning to fill. He lets his eyes flutter close, taking in the sensation of cool metal rolling against him. He finds the lack of sight doesn’t bother him so much when he knows he can open his eyes.

“Color?” Magnus asks, lifting the wheel from where he’d been rolling it along the inside of Alec’s arm, sending shivers through him.

“Green,” Alec answers, opening his eyes so he can watch as Magnus sets the Wartenberg wheel aside and picks up a long red feather.

He strokes it up Alec’s arm and Alec fidgets under the almost-ticklish brush. It’s so light, not nearly enough sensation. Magnus brushes it over his chest, circling a nipple. Alec sucks in a breath because the light touch is suddenly _teasing_.

Magnus doesn’t stop there, proceeding to drag the feather down Alec’s stomach. He flinches when it brushes past his bellybutton and Magnus pauses. “Color?”

“Green, just tickles sir,” Alec murmurs, making a smile appear on Magnus’ face. It’s small and pure and the Dom somehow looks _cute_ which should be impossible given how everything about him screams _powerful_ and _sexy._

Magnus moves the feather to Alec's ribs, making him twitch, a half smile forming against his will at the ticklish sensation. Magnus chuckles at his reaction before trailing the feather over Alec’s half-hard dick. The touch is so light that Alec can’t even properly appreciate it. Magnus seems to realize this because he sets the feather aside and picks up a lit candle, likely the source of the sweet cinnamon scent filling the room. Magnus extinguishes the flame with an exhale before tilting the candle, letting some of the wax drip onto Alec’s chest.

Despite knowing what to expect, Alec can’t help his reaction, arching his chest up at the sudden spots of bright heat. Magnus dribbles the wax down his chest to his lower abdomen before trailing it back up, letting it drip over one of Alec’s nipples.

He hisses at the slightly painful sensation, the bud of his nipple hardening as the wax cools. Magnus’ nails scrape over the wax, almost enough to sting, more than enough to have Alec aching for a harder touch.

He’s hoping they’ll continue with the wax, but Magnus is already replacing it with an ice cube, lifting a knee onto the bed so he can balance beside Alec’s body. Alec bites his lip, knowing it won’t feel as good as the heat, but craving the sensation all the same. He’ll take whatever Magnus is willing to give him.

Magnus trails the ice cube down the side of Alec’s neck, but before the cold can properly sink in, Magnus is replacing it with his mouth, tracing the path the ice had taken.

Alec jolts at the warm heat of Magnus’ mouth juxtaposed with the cold ice. The ice trails across Alec’s collarbones and down around his other nipple. Alec groans when Magnus follows the watery trail with his tongue, nipping at Alec’s collarbone before sucking his nipple into his mouth. Alec moans, wanting to press up into the heat of Magnus’ mouth, but refraining due to the ice pressed against his abdomen.

Magnus moves from his nipple, finally moving the ice as well, down Alec’s left side to his thigh, continuing to follow it up with open-mouthed kisses and, occasionally, his tongue. Alec groans when Magnus’ mouth moves along the inside of his left though, sucking a mark there as what’s left of the ice melts away.

“Good?” Magnus asks when he moves back, standing so he can step towards the nightstand.

Alec nods eagerly. He's hard and leaking now, desperate for Magnus. “Please sir.”

“What are you begging for, darling?”

Alec pauses. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s begging for. For Magnus to keep going? For Magnus to do more? To be able to touch Magnus? To be able to touch himself? He wants all of it, but he’s not sure what he wants most.

“How about this? I want to try one more thing and if you keep doing so well, I’ll let you choose how you want to get off.”

Alec moans, mind already racing with ideas. “Yes sir, please.”

Magnus picks up a thin wand, pressing a button near the top so a gentle buzzing fills the room. Alec's breath catches. It’s not like he's never seen a vibrator before, but he’s certainly never used one. More than that, though, he can’t stop thinking about the fact that it’s Magnus’ vibrator. He can’t help wondering if Magnus has used it on himself, has gotten himself off with it. If it’s the one he used on himself when they had phone sex.

Magnus presses the tip to Alec’s inner thigh, just above his knee, and he stops thinking about much at all except for the vibrations coursing through his leg, so close and yet so far from where he wants them.

“Color?” Magnus asks, trailing the vibrator gently up Alec’s leg, to his hip, and across his abs, avoiding Alec’s cock the way he has been all night.

Alec lets out a sound that’s almost a whine. “Green.”

“Does it feel good?” Magnus asks, moving it down his other thigh. “Do you like it?”

“So much,” Alec murmurs, chocked off. He closes his eyes again, breathing hard, losing himself in the feeling of the vibrator teasing him.

It moves up his chest, pressing into the nipple that’s covered in wax, hard enough to have Alec’s hips bucking. The knowledge that he can’t have more, unless Magnus chooses to give it, only turns him on further.

The vibrator suddenly switches off before disappearing from his skin. Alec’s eyes fly open, a complaint on his lips, when he sees the way Magnus is watching him, gaze heated, a hand pressed to the bulge in his own pants.

“You’ve done perfectly,” Magnus praises him. “How would you like to come?”

Alec doesn’t have the brain power to fully consider his options, or the implications of asking for something specific, all he knows is that he needs more and he feels entirely too empty.

“Fuck me,” he asks, “please, sir, want to feel you in me, please.”

“Of course.” Magnus leans over to unlatch his tied hands from the hook on the headboard. “Get on your hands and knees for me.”

Alec moves, a bit sluggishly, but fueled by the hot desire coursing through him. He can’t quite balance with the way his hands are tied and he ends up with his elbows pressing into the mattress, his ass raised in the air. “Sorry sir.”

“This is better,” Magnus assures him, a hand caressing his ass. The soft touch only lingers for a few seconds before being replaced by a quick, stinging slap that has Alec keening. “Beautiful,” Magnus breathes even as he moves away. Alec turns his head to watch as Magnus pulls a bottle of lube and a couple condoms from his nightstand.

Still fully dressed, Magnus joins him on the bed, kneeling behind him. Alec drops his head, listening to the cap of the lube being popped off. A few seconds later, fingers wet with lube are circling his hole, teasing at the muscle.

Alec presses back against them, trying to urge Magnus on. He gets a sharp slap to his left ass cheek in response. “Don’t be greedy,” Magnus chides. “I’m in charge of giving you pleasure right now, just relax and let me take over.”

Alec swallows hard, unbelieving of how deeply those words affect him. He thinks if there was even a hint of pressure on his cock right then, he would have come. He follows Magnus’ instructions, relaxing as much as he can, letting himself enjoy the moment, the feeling of Magnus’ pointer finger slowly pushing into him.

Magnus’ free hand holds his hip tight, nails digging into his skin ever so lightly, just the right amount of pain as he takes his time opening Alec up.

When he has two fingers deep inside Alec, he crooks them and finds Alec’s prostate, making him jerk. He can’t help the curse that falls from his lips, quickly followed by Magnus’ name.

“That wasn’t begging,” Magnus says, going back to stretching him, careful to avoid that sweet spot.

“Sorry sir,” Alec manages. “Felt so good.”

“Don’t let it happen again or I’ll have to gag you.”

Alec moans, imagining Magnus doing just that. But not yet, not today, not when Magnus is _finally_ going to fuck him.

It seems like eons have passed before Magnus is withdrawing his hand to roll on a condom. Alec gasps and bites his lip to keep from talking when Magnus rolls a condom onto him as well, the warmth of Magnus’ hand a tease even through the latex.

He’s quickly distracted by the feeling of Magnus pressing into him, slow and warm, the stretch utterly perfect.

Alec lets his head bow over his arms, breaths coming in pants as he adjusts to the feeling of Magnus inside him. Magnus’ hand tightens around his length and Alec makes a choked off noise, his cock dripping with precome. “Please, sir,” he manages to say, voice whinier then he thought it could get.

“Please what?” Magnus asks.

“Please,” Alec huffs, thrusting into Magnus’ grip, still around his erection, when Magnus rolls his hips.

Magnus hums and suddenly the hand is gone from his cock, resting on his waist instead. “I want you to come from just this, untouched.”

Alec almost sobs, turning his head to look at Magnus kneeling behind him, still mostly dressed, somehow almost entirely composed. It's unfairly hot.

“What's your color, Alexander?” Magnus asks, pausing his motions.

Alec lets his head fall back down, stretching his neck, tightening around Magnus’ dick. “Green sir, please, more.”

“So good for me,” Magnus praises, pulling out and pushing back in, hitting Alec’s prostate as he does. “You’re beautiful like this, trying so hard to follow my orders.”

There’s a hint of breathiness that betrays Magnus’ composure as he tightens his grip on Alec’s hips and begins to fuck him in earnest. Alec can’t do anything but be swept away by the pleasure coursing through him, almost overwhelming.

“Please,” Alec begs again, curling his hands into the duvet beneath his fingers, staring at the rope around his arms. “Sir, please, I’m so close.”

Magnus adjusts his grip, his right hand letting go of Alec’s hip to tangle in Alec’s hair instead. He gives a little tug and the sparks of pain have Alec rolling back against Magnus, meeting his thrust and making them both groan. Magnus leans forward, pressing his chest to Alec’s back, his hand on Alec’s hip sliding around to his chest, closing any space between the two of them. It should be an awkward angle, but Magnus is still hitting his prostate with every thrust and Alec is past the point of caring about anything except where Magnus’ skin is pressed to his own.

His body feels tightly wound, tense from head to foot, balancing on the edge of pleasure that's threatening to become painful. He’s so close to coming, he can feel it, he just needs something to push him over that edge.

On his next thrust, Magnus digs his nails lightly against Alec’s chest, using his other hand to tug Alec’s hair again and the sparks of pain that shoot through him coupled with the pleasure have him coming with a loud groan. He feels Magnus come apart inside of him seconds later.

Magnus is careful when he moves away, lowering Alec to the mattress as he pulls out of him, something Alec is immensely grateful for as it feels like his limbs are made of jelly, unable to support himself.

Magnus cleans them up quickly, discarding the condoms and untying Alec’s wrists, urging him to lay on his back so Magnus can remove the cuffs and collar.

“How do you feel?” Magnus asks, brushing Alec’s sweaty hair from his forehead. If he weren’t so utterly fucked out, Alec might be embarrassed by how sweaty he is when Magnus had been doing most of the work.

“Good,” he sighs, stretching to ease his muscles and relax further into the bed.

“Do you need anything? Water? A snack?”

As much as Alec wants to go straight for cuddles, the session has him worn out, his throat parched. “Water, please.”

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

Alec enjoys Magnus’ plush mattress until the Dom returns, having at some point undressed to nothing more than a pair of tight black boxer briefs, carrying a glass of water with a straw in it. Alec snorts, but he’s grateful for the straw when he realizes his hands are shaking slightly.

When Alec’s done with the water, Magnus sets the glass on the nightstand and rejoins him on the bed, already adjusting to cuddle Alec to him.

Alec goes easily, sinking into the familiar embrace, wishing idly that he could keep this, keep Magnus. He’s suddenly dreading the day his book is published and his ‘research’ becomes obsolete. 

Alec pushes the thoughts away, curling tighter into Magnus’ perfect chest, and luxuriates in the afterglow.


	10. Bondage (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec watch a bondage demonstration and Alec has a few important realizations about himself and his feelings for Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I'm several chapters ahead so updates will be weekly or twice a week depending on how far ahead I get in the writing. But definitely new chapters on Fridays!

Alec feels almost weird returning to the club after spending the previous weeks at Magnus’ loft. He's more nervous, despite knowing exactly what they’re going to do tonight. After Alec had explained his hesitancy about returning to the club, and more specifically the potential of playing or being tied up in front of others, Magnus had taken the time to explain what they would be doing over text. Their plans are pretty mild considering the things they've been doing, but it's different knowing they won't be alone.

They’re going to watch a bondage demonstration like the one Magnus will give in two weeks and then move to a private room so Magnus can tie Alec up. All in all, it’s rather tame. Still, Alec’s on high alert as he enters the club, sliding on the blue Sub bracelet from the table at the entrance.

Magnus is waiting for him at the bar, a drink in one hand, phone in the other. He’s clearly distracted with texting someone. Alec joins him, sliding into the stool beside him. Alec ha s just opened his mouth to speak when Magnus says, without looking up, “That spot’s taken, I’m waiting on someone.”

Alec chuckles, rolling his eyes though Magnus still isn’t looking at him. “You mean you double-booked me?”

Magnus’ head flies up, eyes widening almost comedically. He recovers quickly, sliding his phone into his pocket, a light blush on his face. “Alexander. You’re early.”

Alec raises an eyebrow, glancing at the clock on the opposite wall. “Only by three minutes?”

Magnus follows his gaze and then smiles sheepishly. “I guess I got a little distracted with planning for the club's event. How are you feeling about tonight? I won’t be offended if you change your mind about this.”

“No, I-I want to do this. If I start to feel uncertain, I’ll let you know.”

Magnus looks hesitant, sipping at his drink, eyeing Alec over the rim of the glass. “Are you sure? You’re not nervous?”

“I’m a little nervous,” Alec admits, fiddling with the band around his wrist. “But not like with the blindfold. This is different. I promise I’ll tell you if that starts to change.”

“Thank you, that's all I ask.” Magnus’s posture softens, a small smile on his lips. “We still have about ten minutes before the demonstration. Would you like a drink?”

After Alec orders his drink- a Dr. Pepper- Magnus continues, “In the room where we’ll be watching, there are two options for seating. You can sit on a chair next to me or kneel on a cushion beside me. Normally I’d ask the latter of a Sub, but I want to make sure you’re fully comfortable tonight.” 

Alec sips at his Dr. Pepper as he considers it. He _wants_ to kneel beside Magnus, to claim the Dom as his- at least for the night- wants to give himself over to anything Magnus wants. The more rational side of him is worried others might look, might judge him.

But really, what does he care about the judgement of other people, people who are at a kink club and really have no room to judge, when it means being at Magnus’ side, kneeling for him?

“I want to kneel,” Alec says, his voice a little on the soft side, but clear enough.

He catches a hint of a smile that crosses Magnus’ face. “Alright, but we’re establishing a non-verbal safeword so you can more easily let me know if you’re uncomfortable.”

Alec nods. That sounds better than having to summon the courage to say ‘pineapples’ or ‘red’ when there will be others around who will certainly understand what he’s doing. 

“You can tap my leg, once if you have something you need to tell me, twice if you’re safewording.” 

“Okay.” Alec glances at the time. They still have a few minutes so he asks, “Can I wear the collar and cuffs?”

Magnus’ eyes widen at the question, clearly caught off-guard. But he nods, standing up and setting his mostly-empty drink on the bar. “Of course. Let’s go get them from my office.” 

Alec stands as well, leaving his drink behind to follow Magnus through the club, focused almost entirely on the Dom in front of him, uncaring of the people around him. He’s beginning to think doing this publicly, at least in this semi version of public, might not be so intimidating after all.

Alec is wearing the golden collar and cuffs, long sleeves rolled up past his elbows to leave them on display, when he follows Magnus into one of the special auditorium rooms.

It’s smaller than the open area with the bar, but still a decent size. There are at least thirty chairs set out, all facing a slightly raised platform- empty for now, all with cushions on the floor beside them. Many are already filled, some with Doms sitting on the chairs, their Subs kneeling or sitting beside them. Some people are just there to watch the show, sitting in the chairs in groups, and some have clearly come alone. Some people wearing bracelets marking them as Subs are sitting in the chairs. None of them spare Alec more than a passing glance.

Alec studies the room, surprised at how calm he feels. The cold metal of the cuffs is grounding and Magnus’ presence is comforting. He knows he has a way out, should he need it. 

Magnus leads him to the empty chair closest to the door. It’s in the front row. Magnus sits on the chair, looking up at Alec with concern in his eyes. “Color?”

“Green,” Alec answers with confidence as he lowers to kneel on the cushion. It’s soft enough that his knees won’t hurt from kneeling there for an extended time. 

Magnus nods and his fingers card through Alec’s hair. Alec leans into the touch, heart pattering in his chest as his world narrows down to that soft motion. 

“Tap my leg twice if you need to stop and once if you get uncomfortable and would like to sit down,” Magnus says, reminding him of their nonverbal safewords.

Alec nods, a thrill going through him at the simple command. It means trusting Magnus with his wellbeing- once again- and waiting for Magnus’ confirmation before adjusting how he’s sitting. He feels a bit owned and he’s soaking it up, drinking in the feeling of being Magnus’ even if it’s only for a few short hours once a week.

Alec straightens a bit and the few hushed conversations go silent when heels click loudly against the tiled floor. Alec turns enough to see the woman that just entered. She’s decked out in black leather, head held high, dark curls pulled into a tight bun. Her heels click against the tiled floor and she keeps her eyes forward, a few coils of brightly colored rope hanging from her hand. She doesn’t need a leash to lead the man following almost directly behind her. The man is taller than her, but seems small with the way he keeps his chin down respectfully. He’s dressed in a pair of dark boxers and a T-Shirt, a pair of glasses sitting on his nose. 

“That’s Maia and Simon,” Magnus informs him quietly. “They’ve been scening here for a couple years.”

_Years,_ Alec thinks. He'd known long term Dom/Sub relationships are a thing, but he hadn’t really seen one until now. It makes him yearn for something out of his reach and he does his best to shove those thoughts away and focus on the pair taking the stage. 

Maia introduces herself and her Sub, starting with a brief explanation of consent as she hands two spools of rope to Simon to hold. She keeps a third in her hands as she goes over the importance of keeping safety sheers nearby when experimenting with bondage. 

“Never try something new in the middle of a scene,” Maia warns next, playing with a bit of blue rope between her fingers. “Nothing kills the mood like cutting off a Sub’s circulation or even making them uncomfortable with a new knot. Always try out knots and ties beforehand so you know what you both like, what to expect, and how to do it properly.”

Maia shifts her stance and Alec can practically see her switching into full Dom mode. He’s seen Magnus do it enough times to recognize it. “Now, let’s start with the basics. Hands.” Simon’s arms shoot out, still carefully holding most of the rope. Maia begins demonstrating basic knots and ties on his wrists, the same ones Magnus had shown Alec the first time they’d used rope. Alec watches with rapt attention, in awe of how calm Simon looks being on display, silent and obedient. Alec hopes he’ll have the same composure when his time comes. 

As the evening goes on, Maia shifts from Simon’s wrists to tying more fully body harnesses.Alec finds he’s not uncomfortable at all, as he’d imagined he would be. No, his attention is focused almost entirely on the show in front of him, filing away what information he can. Between his mental author notes, his mind supplies images of what he might look like, tied up like that for Magnus. When Maia ties a rope corset around Simon, all Alec can think about is having the ropes support him that way, having Magnus watching him. He _wants_ it.

He wants Magnus to tie him up and show him off and- and claim him. Alec wants to be Magnus’ so badly it hurts. He takes in a deep breath through his nose and lets it go, watching the way Maia pulls the ripcord on the harness, the ropes falling away neatly. 

Maia ends the demonstration with a reminder about keeping play safe, sane, and consensual, and offering to answer any questions about bondage specifically or BDSM in general. 

Magnus tugs gently on Alec’s hair- and somehow Alec had forgotten Magnus was still touching him with how into the demonstration he’d gotten- to get his attention. Alec turns to face the Dom.

“What did you think?” Magnus asks, finally letting go of Alec’s hair. Alec misses the touch right away.“Are you still comfortable being part of a demonstration? Now that you’ve seen what it's like?”

“Yeah,” Alec answers, a little breathy as he thinks about just how much he it. He wants to be tied up, wants to have Magnus’ attention, wants to be _his._ “I really want to.”

Magnus’ kohl-lined eyes widen, hands fiddling with his signet ring. “Really?”

Alec nods. “I’m still a little nervous about being in front of everyone, but…” he fights down a blush, “as long as you’re there, I want it all.”

There’s a moment of pause where Alec worries he’s said too much before Magnus is blinking and smiling down at him. “Of course. The more research, the better- so long as your comfortable with it. If you haven’t changed your mind, we can go to a back room and I can show you what I’ll be using on you. I’m sure you’ll want to be prepared.”

Alec nods, standing only when Magnus prompts him, and follows the Dom towards the back of the club, pausing so Magnus can exchange a few words with Maia. Alec stays quiet, hoping Magnus will tie him up in one corsets that had looked so pretty on Simon- Alec wants to be pretty for Magnus. He won’t dwell on what it means that he wants to be the prettiest thing Magnus has ever seen. He wants to be all Magnus can think about.

It seems only fair- since Magnus is becoming all Alec can think about. 


	11. Bondage (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus shows Alec a couple of harnesses before they get distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bondage (obviously lol) and blow jobs

Alec follows Magnus into the back hallway and then to the room they’d used the first couple times Alec had visited the club. It looks exactly the same which is a little unsettling, but he only has a moment to notice before Magnus’ hand is on the back of his neck, tugging him in for a rough kiss that has Alec practically panting. 

When he pulls away, Magnus is smirking, lips red and swollen already. “I liked having you kneel for me.”

Alec shudders at the heat in Magnus’ voice and though he blushes, he musters the confidence to admit, “I like kneeling for you.”

“As much as I like the idea of exploring that further,” Magnus starts, letting his eyes drift over Alec. “I believe there’s something else we’re meant to be trying right now.” He moves to the ropes hanging on the wall, trailing long fingers over them. “Do you have a preference on color?”

Alec shakes his head, fidgeting with his sleeves. 

Magnus hums and selects two ropes, one gold, the other navy blue. "I think you'll feel most comfortable being clothed for the demo. Are you alright with a T-Shirt and boxers?"

“Yeah.” It’s a little revealing, but not so much that it will make him uncomfortable. Especially with Magnus beside him and ropes being wrapped around him.

“Perfect! For now,” Magnus turns to him, lips slightly upturned in one corner, spools of ropes hanging from his left hand. “I want you in your underwear. I want you to feel how I prefer to use bondage. And, since you seem to enjoy having your wrists tied so much, I think you’ll like this.”

Alec nods and starts stripping, pulling his clothes off over the golden cuffs he’s wearing. He’ll have to remember to ask Magnus if he can wear them during the demonstration, he knows he'll crave the comfort of them. “Which... tie?... are you going to do?”

Magnus’ eyes trail over Alec’s exposed skin and the hungry gaze sends a shiver through him. He never wants Magnus to stop looking at him like that- like he’s something Magnus wants, _desires._ It's intoxicating.

“We’ll be giving a similar demonstration to the one Maia just gave. When we’re on stage, I’ll start with your hands. You already knows those knots so for now we’re going to skip to the goat pentagram harness.”

Alec wonders if the harness’ name was chosen for the sole purpose of killing the mood because, really, what’s less sexy than goats?

“Is it one of the harnesses Maia used?” Alec asks even though he’s pretty sure it’s not, thinking he definitely would have remembered the name. 

Magnus shakes his head, setting down the blue rope and unraveling the gold one. Alec is struck by the thought that Magnus would look beautiful in gold. Not just ropes, but anything gold. He wants to suggest it, but he bites his lip instead. How would he even begin to go about saying something like that?

“We like to switch up the harnesses used in presentations in case some of the same audience comes back for another demonstration. Of course we’ll go over the basic knots each time for newcomers, but they’re all relatively simple harnesses so there’s no worry in switching them out.”

Magnus steps closer to him, brushing fingers lightly along the collar Alec is wearing. “Are you ready?”

Alec nods, heart thrumming in his chest, watching as Magnus takes the rope in both hands, creating a loop before stepping behind Alec. “Lift your arms.”

He does, and Magnus settles the rope under his pecs, looping it around behind his back. “How does that feel? Tell me if it’s too tight.”

Alec pauses, considering. It’s a new sensation, the pressure just under his chest, but it doesn't restrict his breathing and it’s not uncomfortable. “No, it’s good.”

“Alright, let me know if that changes at any point.” 

“Yes sir,” Alec breathes, the name slipping out in direct response to Magnus’ commanding tone. 

Magnus loops the rope around his torso once more with a hushed, “Good boy,” that has Alec's arousal coming back full force. 

The fall into silence as Magnus continues to loop rope around Alec, bringing it over his shoulders and linking it to the ropes around his chest. Alec stays as still as he can to make Magnus’ job easier as the Dom switches from standing behind and in front of him to create neat patterns. 

There’s nothing inherently sexual about what Magnus is doing, but the light brush of Magnus’ fingers against Alec’s bare skin have Alec staying half hard. The rope itself is an interesting feeling, similar to the comfort it offers when wrapped around his wrists but more… intimate. Alec finds himself easily relaxing in to it, giving himself over completely to Magnus’ care.

“How are you feeling, Alexander?” Magnus asks from where he’s working with the rope at Alec’s back.

“Good, green,” Alec answers, a little dazed.

“Wonderful. Can you hand me the blue rope?”

Alec leans forward, feeling the golden rope pressing gently into his skin, and retrieves the second spool, handing it to Magnus. 

“Thank you darling.”

Magnus does a few more things at Alec’s back before stepping around in front of him, guiding the navy rope over Alec’s shoulder, a bit closer to his throat this time. The rope in combination with Magnus's proximity has Alec hardening in his boxers. He can feel a flush staining his cheeks as he imagines getting hard on stage from nothing more than a bit of bondage and the way Magnus looks at him.

Magnus continues with the rope, hands working expertly to tie it around Alec’s chest, occasionally checking in with him to make sure Alec is still enjoying the process. A few minutes later and Magnus is stepping back to examine his work, announcing with a flourish of his hands, “And, done!” 

Alec lowers his arms and takes in a deeper breath to feel the way the rope tightens around him. He loves it. It feels like Magnus is still holding him in some way, even though they're no longer touching.

“Would you like to see?”

Alec would rather keep watching Magnus looking at him like _that,_ with darkened eyes and admiration, but he’s also curious so he nods and lets Magnus lead him over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. 

Alec sucks in a breath at the sight of himself, chest covered in complimentary gold and blue rope, a pentagram artfully designed on his skin. It’d be enough to have him blushing on its own, but knowing that Magnus was the one to create it, to wrap it around him, to mark him with it, is almost too much to take. It has Alec’s head swimming in the best way. 

“What do you think?” Magnus asks, sounding a bit nervous by Alec’s delayed response. 

Alec turns to face the Dom, unable to keep from smiling. “I love it.”

Magnus relaxes, shoulders losing a bit of the tension they’d been holding. “You look even more gorgeous than I thought you would.”

“Magnus,” Alec breathes, his boxers suddenly tight at the praise. 

“You like that?” Magnus catches on quickly, reaching out to trail his finger along one of the rope lengths. Alec shivers, wishing Magnus was touching his skin instead. “Like looking so pretty for me?”

Alec lets out an almost strangled noise that makes Magnus lick his lips. Alec is desperately hoping the Dom will do something like kiss him- or fuck him- but Magnus suddenly steps back, out of reach. 

“We should try at least one more, a more full body harness.”

Alec wants to pout, but that _is_ why they came back here. As Magnus sets about untying the rope from Alec's chest, Alec realizes the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive and they had both seemed to enjoy it the last time he was a bit of a brat.

It takes a burst of confidence, but as Magnus pulls the last of the ropes from his body, Alec is able to say in a low voice, “Or we could take a break.”

Magnus’ chin jerks up, eyes narrowing in speculation. “Do you _need_ a break?”

“No,” Alec admits, closing the distance between them so he can run his hands over Magnus’ silky shirt. He’s been wanting to touch the Dom all evening and he figures he may as well go all out. Magnus doesn’t seem to mind, leaning into the touch, and it spurs Alec on. He presses a soft, teasing kiss to Magnus’ lips, savoring the taste. “But I could make it worth your time.”

Magnus steps back, creating space between them once more, but he’s smirking now. “Ah, good try.”

This time Alec does pout, but it only makes Magnus smile back and reach out to trace his thumb over Alec’s lower lip. “There will be plenty of time for that,” Magnus assures him. “ _After_ we do this harness.” 

Magnus drops his hand to roll up the rope in his hands. “If you’re good for me, if you can be patient, I’ll blow you while you’re wearing the next harness. I’ll even tie your hands behind your back.”

Alec shudders at the idea of being tied up in Magnus’ artwork while Magnus sucks him off. He craves it, but now that he's taken a chance, he can’t give in that easily. “And if I don’t feel like being patient?”

“Then I’ll take you over my knee, make your ass pretty and red for me, bring you to the edge and then put a cockring on you for the rest of the night to ensure you don’t come.” Magnus says it with a cool ease, a confidence in his voice that begs Alec to challenge him. 

Alec considers it, at least then he would get _something_ now. But in the end the threat of being denied an orgasm has him conceding with a grumbled, “That’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, darling,” Magnus says with clear amusement. He picks up the still unraveled gold rope and looks over Alec with a thoughtful expression. “I want you naked for this one, if you’re comfortable with that.”

Alec strips out of his boxers without complaint, letting his cock spring free. A light blush makes its way up his chest to his neck and face at being so utterly on display, but he doesn’t let it bother him. Magnus hums in approval, “My good boy.” _Yes, yours,_ Alec wants to respond. He bites his tongue instead.

Magnus steps behind him, placing a bit of the rope against Alec’s back, holding up some of the rope in front of him. “Hold this up near your eyes.” 

Alec takes it, fiddling with the bit of rope as Magnus sinks down, letting the rope press against Alec’s back. A shiver goes down Alec’s spine when Magnus loops the rope around his upper legs, settling it along the cleft of his ass and linking it to the rest of the rope. 

Magnus stands and moves in front of Alec, holding out a hand for the rope. Alec gives it over, watching as Magnus once again begins to expertly weave it around him. A bit goes around his throat, Magnus checking that it’s alright and explaining that he’s using a hitch that won’t risk choking Alec, stressing the importance of it. 

Wearing the harness is an interesting feeling, especially with the way it curves around his ass and lets his cock peak through one of the diamond patterns along the front. It’s a bit uncomfortable, but it's Magnus' artwork on him and Alec luxuriates in it. He soaks up the way Magnus is looking at him now with lidded eyes and a tent in his pants. 

Magnus steps forward, curling a hand into Alec's hair to tug him in for a deep kiss, taking his time to lick into Alec's mouth. Magnus’ other hand explores Alec’s rope covered body. “You're beautiful,” Magnus breathes against his lips. “Do you want your reward?”

“Yes, please,” Alec replies, letting go of Magnus to clasp his hands behind his back, remembering what Magnus had said about tying his wrists. Magnus grabs another rope, a black one, and Alec turns so Magnus can lace it around his wrists, securing his hands behind his back. Alec shudders. “Feels so good.”

Lips brush the back of his neck. “I want to tie you up entirely one of these days, have you on your knees and tie you up so you can’t move and just have to take what I decide to give you. Or maybe do a harness that I can suspend you from.”

A groan rips through Alec at Magnus’ words. “I want that, sir, please.”

“Another day,” Magnus promises, slipping around to kneel before him. Alec has to struggle to control his breathing at the sight of the Dom on his knees. Magnus looks up at him with a gleam in his eye, pressing a kiss to Alec's thigh. His hand traces Alec's hip, over rope patterns. “You’ve been so good for me tonight, Alexander.”

Alec bites his lip to stop another desperate noise from slipping out. He flexes his arms to feel the rope restraining them. He feels owned by Magnus and he never wants to stop feeling this way. He wants everyone to see that Magnus owns him, that he’s Magnus and Magnus is his. Except, he reminds himself bitterly, that’s not entirely true is it?

He’s distracted from his thoughts when Magnus' tongue darts out, licking at Alec's dick, small, teasing motions that have Alec keening. 

“Please Magnus,” he breathes, watching brown eyes flick up to meet his. “Please.”

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Magnus instructs, a hand tightening around Alec’s thigh. Alec hopes his fingers will leave marks.

He feels a blush covering his face again. There’s something about doing this _here,_ with people right outside that has him feeling more reserved, but no less turned on. Saying what he wants is a little harder, but he'll do it for Magnus. And, when he does, he surprised how much he enjoys it. “Want you to suck me. Want to feel your lips around my cock-” He cuts off on a moan when Magnus swallows him down. “Fuck, yes, so good.”

He loses track of time as Magnus proceeds to switch between sucking his dick and licking at the head, one hand playing with Alec’s balls near where the rope passes under his crotch. 

Magnus hums around his dick and Alec feels shivers erupt through him. He’s already panting, fingers wrapped around the rope tying his wrists together. “Fuck, Magnus, so close.”

There’s a lewd pop as Magnus pulls off of him, making Alec whine. Magnus looks up at him with ruined lipgloss and a command on his tongue. “Then come for me, pretty boy.” He sucks on the head of Alec’s cock, his hand digging blunt nails into Alec’s ass, gaze locked on Alec’s. 

Magnus presses his tongue to Alec’s dick and Alec comes with a muffled moan, pleasure coursing through him, making him dizzy. Magnus rises to his feet, hands cupping Alec’s face, thumbs stroking his cheeks gently. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Can you untie my hands? Want to touch you.”

“Of course.” Magnus moves to untie his hands, letting the rope come undone with one firm tug. The moment he can, Alec is drawing Magnus into his arms to press their lips together. Some possessive part of him loves tasting himself on Magnus’ tongue. 

When they part, Alec bites his lip. “Want me to return the favor?”

Magnus sucks in a breath, eyes roaming over Alec’s torso. “As much as I would love that, I do want to show you some more harnesses, if you feel up to continuing?”

“Yeah, green,” Alec assures him. He’d gladly stay there all night letting Magnus tie him up however he pleases. 

“I can’t wait to see you in this next harness,” Magnus murmurs, already beginning to unlace the current rope from Alec’s torso. Alec, for his part, can’t wait to see how Magnus looks at him in the next harness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed! I did finish writing this (though there's going to be a second part) so I may start uploading twice a week depending on what my mental health decides to do lol.


	12. Submitting (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec practices being in bondage around other people and finds himself gaining confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for  
> Chastity belt  
> Bondage  
> A bit of exhibitionism  
> Orgasm denial
> 
> I think I'll be posting Mondays and Fridays until this is finished ~

The following Friday finds Alec at the club once again, feeling his usual blend of excited and nervous. He shifts in the chest harness Magnus has tied over his shirt, his heart pattering beneath it. He loves the feeling of the rope around him, offering comfort and safety, but he's still unsure about going out into the main part of the club like this.

He’s excited, yes, he wants everyone to see him with Magnus, to see them together and know right away that they are. But he doesn't want to feel judged, despite knowing there are people wearing far more scandalous clothing in the club.

Magnus brushes a hand over the collar Alec had asked to wear. “How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” Alec admits. “I know this is practice for next week and I don't need to safeword, but- I think- it would be easier if- if-um.” He stops, not knowing how to proceed- or how to find the courage to ask what he wants to.

Magnus waits patiently, blinking up at him. “What would make it easier?”

Alec breathes deep, and the words tumble out, barely coherent, “If I didn’t have to worry about getting hard.”

Magnus’ eyes widen, but there’s nothing judgemental in his features. Of course there isn’t- Alec should have known Magnus wouldn’t judge him for asking, he feels guilty for even considering it. “Just to make sure I'm not misunderstanding- you’re asking to wear something to prevent that? A chastity belt? Or a cockcage?”

Alec shudders at the words alone. It’s difficult not to get hard around Magnus usually, but having the Dom making him into artwork on stage? He knows he won’t be able to keep from popping a boner. And if he's going to wear something then, he should wear something now, for practice.

“Do you have a chastity belt?” Alec asks, voice hoarse.

“I have something in my office that may work. Wait here,” Magnus instructs before disappearing out the door, careful not to open it much when he slips though. 

Alec’s heart is thudding in his chest as he waits, fiddling with the rope tied around his chest. He doesn't tug at it, just rubs it for comfort, focusing on the texture under his fingers. He thinks he loves bondage.

Magnus returns a moment later, an unfamiliar device in his hands. It’s a metal belt with a cockcage-like part at the front. At the back is a what looks like a but plug made of anal beads. It has Alec’s breath hitching as he considers wearing it, feeling the beads inside him, the cage keeping him from getting any real pleasure.

“What do you think?” Magnus asks when Alec’s been quiet a moment too long. “You’re always allowed to say no or change your mind. We can find something else to use, if you'd prefer.”

“No-I know, I was just, uh-” Alec gestures uselessly, trying to find the words to express himself. “Not expecting that.”

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Would you like to try it?”

Alec nods, perhaps a little too eagerly, but it makes Magnus smile. “Then bend over the bed and pull down your pants.”

He hurries to comply, pressing his elbows against the comforter. He hears Magnus moving around and then the telling snap of a cap being popped open. A moment later there’s a lubed finger massaging his hole. “Relax for me.”

Alec takes a breath, trying to calm himself, and is rewarded with Magnus pressing a finger slowly inside him. “So tight,” Magnus breathes. “I don’t think you need much stretching for this. But, if you beg, I’ll use another finger.”

“Please,” Alec moans instantly, half because Magnus asked and half because he doesn’t want Magnus to pull out of him just yet- even if the finger will be replaced by the belt’s attachment. “Please give me another, sir.”

“You beg so pretty." Magnus slowly presses a second finger inside. Once he's knuckle-deep in Alec, he doesn't move, prompting Alec to take the initiative, fucking himself back against Magnus’ fingers, groaning at the feeling.

Magnus swats at his ass, not hard enough to hurt. “I didn’t say you could do that.”

“Sorry,” Alec mumbles, not feeling at all regretful- until Magnus’ fingers disappear. He whines and Magnus chuckles. 

“Stand up and spread your legs,” Magnus instructs.

Alec grumbles as he complies. He shudders when, seconds later, Magnus is sliding the beaded part of the cage inside him. It’s neither longer nor wider than Magnus’ forefinger and, as delightful as it is, Alec wants more. He’s only half hard when Magnus reaches around to slide the cage over Alec’s cock, but the press of cold metal is still jarring.

Magnus’ hands on his hips silently direct him to turn around and then Magnus is locking the cage, sliding a golden key into his shirt pocket. 

“Fuck, you look hot like this,” Magnus breathes, leaning in to kiss him, a quick and dirty slide of lips. Magnus’ new goatee scratches against Alec’s face in the most delicious of ways. Alec moans, cock throbbing in the cage that’s keeping him from getting any harder.

“I’ve never worn one before,” Alec admits when Magnus leans back. “It’s… weird.”

Magnus smiles softly, brushing fingers over Alec’s cheekbone. “Let me know if it’s too much, we can always come back here and take it off.”

Alec nods as he pulls his underwear and pants up over the metal cage and ensures it isn’t visible through the fabric. He thinks someone would have to be staring to make out the faintest lines. He can’t help clenching around the beads inside of him. “I will.”

“Wonderful. Now, I know we’re practicing being around people for next week, but I’d like you to follow some rules, is that something you would be okay with?”

“Yeah,” Alec breathes, grateful to have something else to focus on than the people around them or his own restricted arousal. Rules will help him focus, keep him from spiraling. 

Magnus nods, pressing a finger- the nail painted bright red- to his lips. “I want you to wait for my permission before you speak to anyone. You’ll let me order your drink at the bar. And… you’ll touch me. As much as possible. I don’t want anyone making the assumption that you’re here alone. Color?” 

Alec thinks he sees a glimmer of possessiveness in Magnus’ eyes and it sends heat down his body. “Yes Sir, green.” 

Magnus’ smile is predatory as he holds out a hand. “Come along then. Let’s see how well you do, if you’ll earn yourself an orgasm.”

Alec sucks in a breath as the cage keeps him from growing hard at those words and reaches out to take Magnus’ hand. He recites Magnus’ commands silently to himself so he won’t forget them as he follows Magnus into the hall and the open floor beyond it. He glances around the crowd, tightening his grip on Magnus’ hand. He’s learned not to mind the variety of outfits and kinky couples, but he still worries they’ll judge him. Even if they can’t see what he’s wearing under his pants.

But… he doesn’t think he minds being judged for submitting to Magnus. Who wouldn’t want to belong to Magnus? 

Alec refocuses on Magnus and finds the Dom watching him carefully. Alec smiles back, feeling a wave of calm wash through him. “Green, Sir.”

“Perfect,” Magnus murmurs, just loud enough for Alec to hear, before leading Alec to the bar. As soon as they reach it, a woman with blonde hair tied in a tight ponytail is waving Magnus over. Alec realizes, as they get closer, that this is the woman to whom he had handed the papers when Magnus had first asked Alec to fully submit to him. It feels like ages ago now.

“Magnus!” She greets with a wide smile. “You’re actually out here with the rest of us mortals, for once.”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “You know I love mingling with my patrons.”

Alec stands awkwardly behind them, biting his lip. He thinks Magnus is doing this on purpose, not introducing him. Alec is already tempted to break one of the rules. The first rule.

“You remember Aline,” Helen says, nodding towards the dark haired girl sitting beside her. She’s wearing an intricate collar that leads Alec to think she’s likely a Sub. He wonders if they’re scening. What rules she has to follow.

“Hi Magnus,” Aline smiles pleasantly. “Who’s your partner?”

Alec gives her a grateful smile and she looks too knowing. Magnus’ expression doesn’t waver from a polite smile. “This is Alexander. He’s writing a novel about BDSM.”

Alec nods, though the description of his book is rather lacking. “Nice to meet you.”

Magnus sits beside Helen, finally releasing Alec’s hand. Except- Magnus had wanted Alec to be touching him, right? Alec swallows his uncertainties and slides into Magnus’ lap the same way he had back in Magnus’ office when he was first introduced to service subbing. It makes the beads press against his prostate and he bites his lip to keep from moaning. He shifts to fix it as much as he can so he's able to relax against Magnus, resting his forehead on the Dom’s shoulder, clinging to him. It’s easier than trying to make small talk when that’s the last thing he wants to do right now. 

He hears Magnus order them drinks and, a moment later, Magnus tugs at his hair, sending sparks down his spine. “Aren’t you going to try it?”

Alec moves back enough to reach for the cocktail Magnus had ordered him. He tries it and can’t resist scrunching up his face at the taste. For a drink without alcohol, it tastes incredibly alcoholic. He sets it back down, “I don’t like it.”

Magnus chuckles and brushes his fingers through Alec’s hair. “Would you like something else?”

“No,” Alec mumbles, returning to burrowing against Magnus. He’d be content to stay there the rest of the night, if Magnus allowed it. Unfortunately, after Magnus finishes his drink, he nudges Alec up and they make walk around the club, Magnus often greeting people, Alec trying to ignore the way the beads shift inside him when he moves.

Alec keeps quiet for the most part, both because he was told to and because he’s not quite sure what to say. He doesn’t know any of these people and, while they seem nice enough, it’s hard to focus on what they’re saying when he’s focusing on touching Magnus and the cage around his cock. 

Between people, Magnus checks with him, assuring he’s still comfortable. Each time Alec responds positively. He finds himself growing more comfortable around the others until the part of his brain that had been anxious about being in public fades into just wanting Magnus. It’s about time it caught up with the rest of his brain, he thinks, pressing closer to the Dom who’s currently in conversation with a short redhead.

Alec doesn’t pay her any attention, placing kisses to Magnus’ neck instead because he’s feeling brave and horny and he doesn’t think Magnus will mind. It’s not against any of the rules. 

Magnus tilts his head to give Alec more room even as he maintains his conversation. Alec feels a spark of curiosity amidst his excitement. He wants to see how long Magnus can keep his composure. That’s part of Magnus’ job- part of his role as a Dom- isn’t it? Staying in control? Alec wants to see Magnus lose his grip on that control- because of him. He wants to see if he can manage it. 

With that in mind, Alec sucks at Magnus’ neck, nipping gently. One of his hands curls around Magnus’ waist, sliding fingers under the waistband of Magnus' leather pants. He bites back a groan when he doesn’t find any underwear beneath them. Of course Magnus isn’t wearing underwear. It makes Alec’s mind drift to dirtier thoughts. It would make it so easy for Magnus to simply pull down his pants and fuck Alec. 

Alec licks at Magnus’ collarbone, hand squeezing Magnus’ ass, rutting against his leg before stopping, hissing at the almost painful feeling of hard metal against his cock. He almost wants to cry, needing some kind of friction, needing to be allowed to get hard. At the same time, he wants to continue like this forever, his pleasure totally belonging to Magnus. 

Alec doesn’t realize Magnus has excused himself from his conversation until the Dom’s hand is in his hair, tugging his head back until they’re making eye-contact. Alec bites back a grin when he sees the way Magnus’ pupils have dilated. Alec brushes his right hand to the front of Magnus’ pants so he can squeeze the bulge there. He can’t help moaning, knowing that his efforts have been at least somewhat successful if Magnus is hard in his pants. 

Magnus tugs at his hair. “You’re being bold tonight.”

He doesn’t sound entirely disapproving so Alec scratches his nails against Magnus’ ass. “I want you.”

“What do you want? Tell me, specifically, and I’ll consider giving it to you.”

It's a request that would normally be easy, something Alec is accustomed to- if not for the fact that they’re still in the rather crowded main part of the club. He feels his cheeks flush as he considers vocalizing what he wants.

“Alexander,” Magnus’ voice is a warning. "You’ve already pressed your luck tonight, do you really want to disobey me now?”

Alec’s breath hitches. He looks away from Magnus’ eyes. “I-I’ll tell you, just… let go of my hair, please?”

Magnus drops his hand right away, expression growing concerned. “Are you alright?”

Alec steps in closer, pressing his face to Magnus’ shoulder. “I’m fine. Just… couldn’t say it like that.” It’s ridiculous, he thinks, but being like this it’s almost like he and Magnus are alone, or like Magnus is the only one that matters in the room. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Oh?” Magnus asks with clear interest, hands exploring Alec’s body, running over the rope harness he’d tied there. Alec feels every touch like a spark. “That’s not very specific. Perhaps I should switch the belt out for a cockring and then fuck you and keep you from comming.”

Alec shudders, clutching tighter at Magnus’ ass, hand still pressed between Magnus’ skin and the fabric of his pants. “I didn’t break the rules.”

Magnus hums. “Not directly, but when I asked you to touch me, you know I didn’t mean grope me while I was having a conversation.”

Alec isn’t sure if it’s the beads inside him or the fact that Magnus is speaking directly into his ear or the words themselves, but Alec is aching to get hard. “Please, Sir, please fuck me.”

“Just fuck you? Not let you come?”

Alec groans. “Please let me come.”

“I’ll consider it. Now, come with me before I decide to grind against you under the guise of dancing until I’m getting off, leaving you still unable to get fully hard.”

Alec half-considers it, wanting to see Magnus lose control that way, wanting Magnus to grind against him in front of all these people until he comes. But the look in Magnus’ eye has him turning and leading the way back to the bedroom where’d they’d gotten ready. 

As soon as the door shuts behind them, Magnus is giving him an order, “Strip and get on the bed, on your back.”

He removes the lower half of his outfit easily, leaving only the chastity belt. He hesitates before attempting to take off his shirt because that would mean undoing the rope. All it would take is one firm tug at the end of the rope at the back, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

“Alexander,” Magnus practically growls.

Alec swallows, head jerking up so he can meet Magnus’ eyes. “Sorry, sir, please can I leave it on?”

Magnus’ eyes widen. “You like it that much?”

“So much,” Alec admits.

There’s a pause before Magnus says, “You can leave it on if you like, but if you choose to wear it, you won’t be allowed to come tonight.”

Alec pauses for a second, considering. Normally the threat would have him doing whatever Magnus asked. But the rope feels like being held and he doesn't want to take it off yet- even if it means sacrificing an orgasm. He lies back on the bed, still wearing his shirt and the harness, watching the way Magnus’ eyes roam over him. 

Magnus steps forward, unlocking the belt and sliding the cockcage off before pulling the whole contraption away. Alec groans at the feeling of the beads slipping from him, but he’s comforted by the fact that Magnus will be in him soon.

“There’s lube in the table, open yourself up but don’t come. I’ll be right back.” Magnus brushes their lips together before turning away. Alec fishes for the lube, wanting to be ready for Magnus as soon as he can be. He fingers himself quickly and efficiently, ignoring his cock as it grows hard and begins leaking against his stomach. He’s made his decision, he’ll live with it. Especially since it means having Magnus inside him while he wears the harness. 

Magnus returns quickly, having swapped out the chastity belt for a simple cock ring which he dangles between his fingers. 

Alec already has four fingers inside himself and he watches Magnus’ gaze snap down to where he’s pressing into himself. The desire in Magnus’ expression eggs him on, has him rolling his hips harder, pleas falling from his lips. “Please, please, fuck me, want your cock in me, filling me up, please Sir.”

He’s rewarded with Magnus stepping forward, snapping the cock ring around the base of Alec’s dick. Alec groans at what it means, dragging his fingers out of himself. “Please, please.”

“I’ve got you,” Magnus murmurs, pulling off the satin shirt that has been teasing Alec all evening. Alec watches unashamedly as Magnus strips, efficient but graceful, and kneels below him on the bed, checking to make sure he’s stretched himself enough.

Alec whines, urging Magnus on, wanting to feel him. Magnus must decide he’s done well enough because the Dom reaches for the nightstand to roll a condom over his length. 

When Magnus pushes into Alec, he presses their lips together in a rough kiss. Alec gives as good as he gets, tongue tangling with Magnus'. He wants nothing more than to give himself entirely to Magnus, for Magnus’ pleasure. It has him practically shaking as Magnus fucks him hard enough to rock the bed, moans tumbling from both of them. Alec can't stop the pleas that fall from his lips, begging Magnus to go fast, harder, _more._

Alec thinks he must have done a decent job of getting Magnus worked up because it isn’t long before Magnus is coming inside him. Alec gasps and curls his hands around Magnus arms for something to hold as arousal and a hint of pain course through him, the ring ensuring his own pleasure doesn’t crest. 

“Are you alright?” Magnus checks before he’s even pulled out. “What’s your color?”

“Green." Alec still holds tight to Magnus' arms. “I just- just need a minute to calm down.”

“Of course.” Magnus pulls out of him, discarding the condom and wiping off his hands before reclining next to Alec on the bed. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look-”

“Like I didn’t get the orgasm I was so close to having?” Alec guesses, unusually amused about it. It was worth it, he thinks, to have experiences all of _that_ without having to worry about his own pleasure.

Magnus chuckles and holds out an arm in offering which Alec hurries to curl up in. He’s still hard, but he’s no longer on edge and Magnus' touch is comforting now, a soft warmth rather than sparks of desperate heat.

“I’ll make it up to you next week,” Magnus promises softly, making Alec shudder and press tighter in against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Alec finishes the book he's been writing ;)


	13. Subspace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finishes his book and, later that night, asks Magnus to put him in subspace before the demonstration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for  
> Spanking and light pain-play  
> Subspace  
> Cockcage  
> Mentions of non-sexual bondage (in front of others)  
> 

A brick settles in Alec's stomach as he hands over his completed manuscript to Lydia at ten am the following Friday. He’s usually relieved to finish a novel, but this time things are more complicated. He’s proud of the book, but finishing it means no more research which means no more sessions with Magnus. He's already considering writing a sequel or spin off for the sole purpose of spending more time with Magnus.

“What’s with the kicked puppy look?” Lydia asks, thumping the manuscript onto her large wooden desk.

“It’s nothing.” 

“You finished your book!” Lydia reminds him, eyes wide and confused. “Why do you look miserable?”

Alec picks at his hand. He wants to confide in her, wants to work through his thoughts with someone else, but he doesn't dare to go into the spiel of what his research had become. “I’m just… not ready for it to be done,” he finishes lamely. 

“Well, you still have edits."  Alec wonders how long edits will last before the book goes into publication. As one of the firm’s more prestigious authors, his books tend to get fast-tracked, something he’s _usually_ grateful for. He wonders if he can still see Magnus during that time.  "Are we on for drinks tonight?”

Over the years it had become a tradition for Alec, Lydia, Izzy and Jace to get drinks after he submitted a finished manuscript. He enjoys it, but right now he can only think about how he wants to invite Magnus and how he can’t because Magnus is just helping him with research. They’re not even really friends. They barely talk outside of their scenes and while Alec knows he’s past the point of being able to wrangle his more romantic feelings under control, he has no idea if they're reciprocated. If Magnus sees him as just another client, maybe a good fuck, maybe a good sub.

And that- that might be his only option. If he can get Magnus to accept Alec as his sub rather than a temporary sub for research purposes, at least he can still get to see Magnus. He tries to ignore the part of his brain that whispers he's being a coward. 

“Alec?” Lydia asks, jerking him back into the present.

He shakes his head. “Rain check? I have plans.”

“With who?” 

Alec rolls his eyes at her disbelieving tone. “I have friends outside of you and Jace and Izzy.”

Lydia looks doubtful, but she lets it go, turning to her desk to thumb through the manuscript. “You could invite them to come with us you know.”

Alec pauses to consider that, to actually imagine asking Magnus to join them. He wonders what Magnus would be like outside of their scenes, outside of bedrooms and kink clubs. He thinks Magnus would get along with his friends. Izzy would love Magnus’ fashion sense. He wonders if Magnus would still call him pet names and look at him with the soft eyes he sometimes has during aftercare. “I… might. But I still can’t make it tonight.”

Lydia shrugs, “Alright, how’s tomorrow then?”

“That works.” He might be a bit sore, but not enough to stop him from having fun. He tries to ignore the tug in his stomach that insists he invite Magnus. He tries to ignore the voice in his head that says how much more he would enjoy the night if he did. 

“I’ll get the first round of large-scale edits back to you by Monday. Enjoy your plans tonight.”

“I will,” he says over his shoulder with utmost certainty. As unsure as he might feel about everything that will come after publishing the book, or even telling Magnus that he’s finished writing it, he knows he’s going to enjoy tonight. How could he not when Magnus is going to be there?

Several hours later, Alec finds himself once again in the back room at Pandemonium, his heart thrumming rapidly beneath his chest. The night's event has already started and he'd had to shift through throngs of people just to get to the back hallway. Every main stage and auditorium room was in use. It’s overwhelming and Alec is glad to be away from it for a moment.

“You look ruffled,” Magnus notes with slightly narrowed eyes. 

“There are a lot of people,” Alec manages even as his eyes roam over Magnus’ body. Magnus always looks amazing, but tonight he’s gone all out on his Dom aesthetic. He’s dressed in all black leather- boots, tight pants, and a tank top that looks like a corset or suit-vest. He’s even got fingerless black leather gloves on his hands, nails painted the same color. His makeup is dark and dramatic, his hair devoid of its usual streak of color. A cuff resembling a tiny whip is curled around his ear and several glimmering silver necklaces fall over his chest. He’s impossible to look away from and Alec suddenly feels very underdressed in his t-shirt and jeans.

Magnus nods, stepping closer, bringing a palm to Alec’s cheek. The brush of leather has Alec’s skin bursting out in goosebumps. “What do you need?”

Alec has to close his eyes to get his thoughts in order. He still doesn’t expect his next words to be, “Put me in subspace. Please.”

“Are you sure? Won’t you feel more vulnerable?”

Alec swallows, opening his eyes and meeting Magnus' gaze. “I trust you completely and I need the- the release.”

“Alright, it that's what you want." He lets his kohl-ringed eyes look over Alec with a hint of scrutiny. “I think impact play will put you under fastest. Why don’t you be a good boy and strip for me?”

Alec is out of his shirt in the next minute, losing the rest of his clothes just as quickly, folding and setting them on the couch. He’s half-hard just from looking at Magnus which would be embarrassing if Magnus didn’t look like sin personified.

Magnus retrieves the cuffs and collar, but doesn’t hand them to Alec. He sets most of them on the bed, holding on to one cuff. “Give me your wrist.”

Alec follows the order, letting Magnus fasten the cuffs one by one until he’s clipping the collar around Alec’s neck. “So good for me,” Magnus murmurs, scraping his nails down Alec’s chest, just hard enough to sting. “Now bend over the bed so I can see your ass.”

Magnus' words have a blush blossoming over Alec's face, but he does as he's asked, lowering himself over the edge of the bed, centering his weight on his elbows. He misses Magnus' soft sheets, but before he has time to truly dive into that thought, Magnus’ hand is landing on his ass, making a startled moan fall from his lips. He's still wearing the gloves and the rough leather has sparks of pleasurable pain through Alec. He falls into the feeling easily, ready to beg for more if Magnus asks.

He's distantly aware of Magnus speaking as he continues to land stinging slaps, soft words that have Alec keening. “You look so pretty like this Alexander. Your cute little butt has my handprints all over it.”

Alec gasps, grinding against the bed at the thought of Magnus’ handprint temporarily tattooed on his ass. _Marking him._

“I wish you could see how gorgeous you are right now.” Magnus' words are followed with a stinging hit to the back of Alec’s thigh. It throws him off guard in the best way. “I want to push you down against the mattress and fuck you until you're begging for release.” 

There’s another slap and Alec groans, already on edge. He loves the impact of Magnus' hand, even gloved, against his skin, the sweet ache that follows.

“You would like that wouldn’t you,” Magnus says, sounding breathless. “How hard are you right now?”

If Alec had the brainpower to be embarrassed he thinks he’d blush at the question. Instead, he murmurs into the sheet, “So hard. Hard for you sir.”

“I’m going to let you come before we go out there.” Magnus’ hand curls into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands. "I want your pleasure to come from the pain I’m giving you. And I want you to thank me for it.”

Alec already feels floaty at Magnus’ words. He ruts harder against the bed, needing the friction, needing _something_. “Thank you.”

Magnus releases his hair, dragging both hands down Alec’s back, scratching his nails into the skin. He doesn’t stop when he reaches Alec’s ass, scratching down the inflamed skin. The sharp pinpricks of pain against the lingering soreness have Alec crying out, cock leaking. He knows he’s close, both to subspace and coming. He distantly wonders which will happen first. 

He stops wondering Magnus leans down against him- all smooth leather- wrapping a gloved hand around Alec’s erection, knotting the other in his hair. Magnus presses their bodies together, tightening his grip and demands, “Come for me, Alexander.” Alec actually yells as he comes, tipping over the edge into the fuzzy mindset he recognizes as subspace. 

He stays pressed against the bed when Magnus steps back until Magnus helps him up, his hand and glove cleaned. “How do you feel?”

“Good,” Alec slurs, blinking at Magnus but not actually trying to clear the fuzz in his mind. “Green. That was… good.”

“Wonderful,” Magnus praises, pressing his lips to Alec’s cheek in a soft kiss. “I’m going to get you dressed now, alright?”

Alec hums in agreement and does his best to help as Magnus cleans the come from his stomach before dressing him. 

“Do you want a cockcage?” Magnus asks, pausing when Alec’s boxers are halfway up his thighs. 

Alec nods, just coherent enough to know that he’s likely to get hard again when Magnus starts tying him up. “Yes please.” 

Magnus steps back and opens a black bag Alec hadn’t noticed until now, pulling out a golden cockcage. Alec stays still, noticing that it matches the cuffs and collar in color, and lets Magnus slide it on before pulling his boxers up over it.

“You look debauched, darling,” Magnus states, brushing Alec’s hair from his face. 

Alec leans into the touch with a satisfied smile. “Good.”

Magnus chuckles, a soft, gorgeous sound that Alec absolutely wants to hear more of. He wants to hear that sound every day. “You’re adorable. Use your colors if you start to come down or you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Perfect,” Magnus praises. “Are you ready then? It’s almost our turn.”

Alec nods, still on cloud nine. “I’m ready sir.” 

Magnus takes Alec's hand and Alec happily follows him out into the crowded club without a trace of anxiety to be found. After all, what does he have to be nervous about when Magnus is there?

The demonstration goes smoothly. Alec spends it floating blissfully in subspace, letting Magnus tie him up in front of the curious audience. Alec only pays attention to his Dom and the feeling of ropes around him.

When they leave the stage, Alec is still wearing the last harness Magnus had tied. It covers most of his torso and reminds him of the one Magnus had showed him the week before. Alec is glad Magnus left it on him. He never wants to take it off.

To Alec's dismay, as soon as they’re alone again, Magnus sets about untying the ropes, “Color.”

“Green.”

The ropes come loose and Alec frowns at the lack of pressure as Magnus lets them drop to the floor. “I’m going to take off the cockcage so we can lie down comfortably, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Magnus tugs Alec's boxers down enough to easily remove the cockcage from Alec’s length. “Do you want me to get you off?” Magnus asks, obviously noticing how hard Alec is. “I can use my mouth on you.”

Alec moans, almost agreeing because of course he wants Magnus’ mouth on him. But his current arousal is more of a background humming than a need that begs to be satiated. Mostly, right now, he just wants to be held. By Magnus. “Want to cuddle.”

“Alright, go ahead and lie down, I’ll join you as soon as you’re comfortable.”

Alec moves to the bed, falling onto it and curling onto his side so Magnus can slide in behind him, spooning him. Alec melts at the warm breath in his hair, the solid arms around his waist, the leg draped over his. It’s perfect. 

“Can we stay like this?” Alec asks, still feeling drugged, he knows he's talking about more than the cuddling, but he wonders if Magnus understands that. 

“For as long as you like,” Magnus promises, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his head. “Come down when you’re ready.”

“mmkay,” Alec mumbles, closing his eyes. He doesn’t sleep, but he dreams of going to a normal bar with Magnus by his side, of introducing Magnus to his friends. He dreams of never having to say goodbye to the other man. As he comes down from subspace, he makes the decision that he's going to ask Magnus out before the night ends. He just hopes Magnus will say yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to spoil anything, but buckle up and prepare for a bit of angst~


	14. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When someone from Magnus' past turn up, it causes conflict between Magnus and Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for angst oof

Alec comes out of subspace with a smile on his face, nestled in Magnus’ arms. He wants to stay there, but it’s nearing one a.m. and he’s sure Magnus is ready to get home. He’s less eager and finds himself missing the days of scening at Magnus’ loft. That's where he wants to go, wants to spend the night in Magnus' bed.

Although, he thinks, if this goes well, perhaps he’ll be invited back. As Magnus’ boyfriend, as _his_ Sub, officially. He knows he's getting ahead of himself but he can’t help imagining Magnus giving him his own collar. He knows that’s far off, potentially impossible, but he wants it. He wants everything with Magnus.

So, with his heart beginning to thrum with anticipation, Alec forces himself to stretch and untangle from Magnus. Magnus sits up, watching him with warm brown eyes. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

Alec leans back against the headboard, considering. He’d been too nervous and excited to eat dinner before meeting Magnus and he's feeling that now. “What do you have?”

Magnus gets out of bed, Alec instantly misses his warmth but appreciates the view of Magnus in all his leather, to go through a mini fridge in the corner. “Water, juice, soda. Fruit, chips, peanuts, chocolate.”

“Chips and water, please.”

Magnus returns a moment later, two water bottles in one hand, the other holding a bag of potato chips and a bag of M&Ms. He hands Alec a water and the chips before sitting back down beside him, peeling open his M&Ms. Alec presses their sides together as he starts on his own snack. 

They eat in a comfortable silence, arms brushing together. Magnus has taken off the leather gloves and Alec watches his long golden fingers as he moves. Alec wants those fingers on him again, wants to hold Magnus' hand in his. 

When he finishes the snack and water, Alec reluctantly climbs from the bed to tug on his jeans. 

Magnus is already standing, but Alec still asks, just in case, “Will you walk me out?”

“Of course.” Magnus’ hair is rumpled from lying on the bed, but the rest of him is still miraculously put together and Alec lets his eyes run over Magnus’ outfit once more as he steps back into his shoes. Alec wants to strip him out of it, wants to undo the laces on the back of the corset one by one one with his teeth. “I want you to keep me updated, like the first time you went into subspace. If you start to drop, text me and we’ll do our best to prevent it.”

“Yeah,” Alec agrees, thoughts already racing to _what if Magnus says yes?_ And _what if Magnus says no?_ Is he about to end everything? If he keeps his mouth shut, keeps his finished book to himself, he can keep this.

But then Magnus is offering a hand to him and their fingers are lacing together and Alec knows _this_ won’t be enough. He wants more of Magnus. Wants to be more to Magnus. 

The Dom leads them out of the room and back through the crowds which have thinned slightly but are still bigger than Alec is used to seeing at Pandemonium. Alec is considering how to bring it up, how to ask Magnus out, how to tell him he’s finished writing the book, when a tall brunette woman steps in front of them, blocking their path.

The first thing Alec notices about her is that she’s gorgeous. Super-model pretty with her hair tied up in an extravagant twist, makeup expertly applied, wearing a short black dress. He doesn’t have to be straight to know she’s objectively good looking. The second thing he notices is the bitter twist in her smile, the way her dark brown eyes dart between him and Magnus. It puts him on edge and he shifts closer to the Dom.

“Maggie! I caught some of your demonstration, interesting stuff,” the woman muses, stepping closer, brushing red, claw-like nails over her hairdo. 

_Maggie?_ Alec glances at Magnus and finds his expression has closed off entirely. He looks colder and more distant than Alec has ever seen him. The outfit alone had been enough to elevate Magnus, but with his face so blank, he looks completely isolated from the rest of them. Until Magnus’ hand tightens around Alec’s, keeping him close and filling him with warmth.

Still, Magnus doesn’t look at him, focussing on the woman.“Camille. Who let you in? I’m going to fire them.”

“That’s no way to treat the love of your life,” Camille chides, shaking her head. Alec narrows his eyes because Magnus clearly doesn’t care for this woman. An ex, perhaps? “You know, it’s odd to see you in a dominant role, but I guess it makes sense. You never were very good at submitting.”

Alec bristles at the woman’s words. Her tone drips of superiority and judgement. He wants to lash out at her to defend Magnus, but Magnus is dropping Alec’s hand to cross his arms over his chest, already speaking. “You’re not welcome here. Leave. Now.”

“Ohh,” Camille coos like she’s talking to a kitten. She claps her hands together excitedly, blood red lips tilting up. “Is that the voice you use when you’re Domming? How does anyone take you seriously?” She glances at Alec, winking like they’re in on some joke. “Does that voice actually do anything for you?”

“Magnus is a wonderful Dom,” Alec bites back, fuming, the giddy afterglow destroyed by this woman’s presence. He wants to continue to defend Magnus, but he’s not sure the Dom would appreciate it. Magnus still hasn’t looked at him.

Camille laughs at that and Alec very much wants to punch her. Magnus’ voice is steely when he speaks again, pulling his phone from his pocket. “If you’re not going to leave of your own volition, I’m more than happy to have security escort you out.”

That makes Camille stop laughing, but she doesn’t look threatened. An amusement still lingers on her face. “Alright, calm down. I just came to see you try to Dom, it was quite the show. I’ve got no reason to stick around, but… call me if you feel like _trying_ to Sub again. I’m sure we could make a proper Sub out of you with extensive training.” She glances at Alec again, like she’s studying him. “You look tough. You’d be better off trying to put Maggie in his place, you know.”

Before Alec can even attempt formulate a response to that, the woman is swiveling on her five-inch heels and heading for the exit. Alec turns to Magnus and finds the Dom watching Camille with a hard expression. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Magnus snaps, fiddling with one of his necklaces, texting with his other hand, still not looking at Alec. “I clearly need to update my security though, if Camille was able to get in.”

“Who was she?” Alec asks, shifting awkwardly. The air is tense and uncomfortable and he just wants to go back to how things were before Camille approached them. Magnus still looks distant and Alec wants to fix that, but he doesn’t know where to start, how to bring Magnus back to him.

Magnus shakes his head, finally meeting Alec’s eyes, with none of the warmth from before. “No one important. I need to find my head of security. I’ll text you before next Friday.”

“Wait, Magnus,” Alec reaches out to catch Magnus’ arm when the Dom turns to leave. His grip is light, barely there, but Magnus yanks away, stumbling back like Alec had physically hurt him. Magnus regains his balance, but keeps a distance between them. It feels like a palpable barrier and Alec doesn’t understand. He blinks at the Dom, taking in the way Magnus is standing with his arms crossed over his chest like he’s- like he's scared. “What was that?”

“I’m not in the mood to have this conversation.”

“Okay,” Alec breathes, trying to center his thoughts. He doesn’t want to push, but there’s a part of him that thinks this is largely unfair. He swallows it down, explaining instead, “I just want to help.”

“You can’t help,” Magnus snaps before rubbing at his temples, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry. Seeing Camille caught me off guard and I don’t want to do this right now.”

Alec swallows hard, guessing, “She hurt you?”

“I said I don’t want to do this right now,” Magnus repeats with a bitterness Alec has never heard from Magnus, much less directed at him. The Dom starts texting again.

Alec forces down his curiosity, wishing Magnus would at least look at him. “Okay. Fine, we don’t have to talk about it. You just seem unsettled.”

“That has nothing to do with you. You’re not my boyfriend, Alec. You’re not even _my_ Sub. I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Alec reels back like he’s been struck. He feels like he has. But Magnus isn’t wrong. They’re not together and he isn’t Magnus’ boyfriend or submissive- not truly. Still, Magnus’ words are sharp and painful and Alec thinks it’s intentional. He crosses his arms over his chest, tensing as anger courses through him to soothe the hurt. “I see how it is, I’m meant to trust you with- with everything, but you don’t trust me. Because- what, I’m just some guy you’ve been helping research? I thought _this,”_ he gestures between them, “was all about trust.”

Magnus’ eyes narrow as he meets Alec’s gaze, eyes blazing. “Camille has nothing to do with us. You gave me your trust willingly, don’t pin that on me.”

“Because I thought I could trust you! Clearly I was wrong,” Alec scoffs, trying desperately to patch up his heart with harsh words. His hurt and anger addled mind thinks Magnus deserves them. “Anyways, it doesn’t matter because I finished the book.”

“You finished it?” Magnus stiffens, shoving his phone into his pocket. “How long have you been _using_ me for a bit of fun? This obviously wasn’t about research anymore.”

Alec barely resists the urge to throw up his hands, aware of the people around them. They’ve barely avoided attracting attention this far and he wants to keep it that way so he ensures his voice is quiet when he spits, “Fuck you, Magnus. I never used you, I finished the book last night.”

“Good, then we’re done here,” Magnus growls out before turning and disappearing towards the back of the club. 

Alec watches him leave, the anger fading slowly, leaving him with nothing but his shattered heart and broken trust. He thinks he preferred the anger. Part of him wants to go after Magnus- to fight or beg or- he’s not sure.

“Hey, Alec right?” 

Alec turns and finds the blonde woman from the week before watching him. Helen, he thinks her name is. She’s dressed up as well, wearing an intricate leather collar. He blinks at it. Hadn’t she been a Dom? Maybe a switch? At the moment he really doesn’t care.

“Uh yeah.”

“Are you here with Magnus?” Helen asks, leaning against the bar.

Alec shakes his head.“I was just leaving actually.”

Helen frowns, worry in her eyes. “Did something happen? Where is Magnus?”

“No, well, yes, but it’s personal. Sorry,” Alec says vaguely, stepping towards the door. “I have to go.”

“Alright, but-”

He turns and misses whatever else Helen might have wanted to say. He barely makes it to his car before the tears spill over and he curls over his steering wheel to cry. When he goes to bed that night it’s with red eyes and an aching heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls dont hate me or Magnus things will be resolved quickly I promise~


	15. The Dedication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's book is published and he does his best to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings, just more angst.

Alec nurses his beer, listening idly to his friends chatting, letting it fade into the background ambiance with the quiet music playing in the bar. He finishes his drink in a long swig and begins picking at the label, thinking he’d rather be at home alone where he's free to indulge in his self pity. But he’d promised Lydia he’d be here and he'd felt bad for putting it off in the first place.

Lydia says something about the realistic BDSM in Alec’s manuscript and his thoughts turn, as they so often do, to Magnus. He suddenly needs to get away from the conversation, from any reminders of the Dom.

“I’m getting another,” he announces, standing up. Three pairs of eyes turn to him, all worried. He ignores them, crossing the room and waving down the bartender to order a second beer. 

His phone vibrates while he’s waiting and he pulls it out with trepidation. It’s exactly what he’d expected and he scowls at notification of a text from Magnus. Against his better judgement, he opens it. There are four messages, all unanswered, that have accumulated since the night before. 

**_Magnus:_ **

**_Please ask for help if you drop. (2:33 AM, Friday)_ **

**_Alec? (4:08 AM, Friday)_ **

**_I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I’m worried. (10:21 AM Saturday)_ **

**_Please let me know if you’re okay. (7:47 PM Saturday)_ **

Alec glares at his phone, half-wishing he could throw it at something. Magnus had made it clear that he didn’t appreciate Alec’s concern, but apparently he’s a hypocrite. And hadn’t Alec figured that out last night when he’d realized how little Magnus trusted him? 

Somehow it still hurts.

“Who pissed in your cereal?” 

Alec looks up, finding Jace beside him and a new beer on the bar top in front of him. He picks it up and sips at it. “You’re vulgar.”

“And you’ve been suspiciously quiet all night. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Alec answers too fast, fiddling with his phone.

Jace orders himself a drink before turning to Alec with a serious expression that looks out of place on the blond’s usually bubbly face. Alec thinks his bad mood must be too obvious if even Jace has noticed. “Alec, I know when you’re lying.”

“Then you should know me well enough to know when I don’t feel like talking about something,” Alec grumbles, still focussed on his phone and whether or not he’s going to give Magnus a response. The injured, petty part of him wants to let Magnus keep worrying. The adult part of him knows he should answer and cut this off now.

“Talk to me, man. What’s up? Why aren’t you more excited?”

Alec shakes his head with a small sigh, looking away so he doesn’t have to see the concern in Jace’s eyes. He settles for as close to the truth as he can get without having to explain everything. “I… broke up with someone last night.”

“Shit. I didn’t even know you were dating.”

“It wasn’t serious.” Just because Alec had wanted it to be serious didn’t mean it was, he thinks bitterly, chasing the thought with a swig of beer.

Jace nods sympathetically, clapping Alec’s shoulder. “You really liked him, didn’t you?” When Alec doesn’t answer, Jace continues, “Come on, let’s drink some more and find you a rebound.”

Alec doesn’t want a rebound, he wants Magnus. But he puts his phone away and follows Jace back to the table, trying a little harder to have a good night out. He avoids his phone for the rest of the night and he almost, almost, gets into the celebratory mood.

In the end, Alec doesn’t take anyone home. He couldn’t stomach the thought of it. Now he wishes he had tried a little hard. Because no rebound means he’s left alone, staring at his ceiling, replaying his argument with Magnus. He wonders if he could have done anything to keep it from spiraling so fast. Then he thinks about Magnus’ lack of trust in him and knows they never would have made it.

He grumbles when his phone vibrates and fumbles for it, squinting at the screen. Even on the lowest setting it’s too bright against the darkness of his room.

**_Magnus:_**

**_Alexander? Please, please, just tell me you’re alright. (11:56 PM Saturday)_ **

Almost instantly, his phone vibrates with another text.

_** Magnus: ** _

**_I’ll leave you alone, I promise, I just need to know you’re okay. (11:56 PM Saturday)_ **

Alec rolls his eyes and types out a response:

**_Fuck off, I don’t owe you anything._ **

It feels too petty. He deletes it. He tries again.

**_Alec:_**

**_If I need help, I’ll get it- from someone else. Stop texting me. (11:58 PM Saturday)_ **

He drops his phone onto the mattress and rolls over, drifting off to sleep with images of warm brown eyes and soft hands in his mind.

He tries to pretend he doesn’t care when he wakes up to no new messages from Magnus.

The rest of the month passes in a blur of editing and meetings with Lydia and trying to avoid thinking about Magnus.

At one point, Alec drives to Pandemonium and sits outside, wanting to go in and find Magnus and beg the Dom to fix this. It’s a low point and he drives home feeling extra pathetic. 

At another point, he goes back to the bar he’d visited with Lydia, Jace, and Izzy. He flirts with a cute guy with blonde hair and green eyes, but when the guy kisses him, Alec feels sick. He apologizes and buys the guy a drink before going back home to stare at his ceiling again.

On the twelfth of the following month, Alec’s book comes out. He hosts an event and keeps a smile on his face for his fans. A couple times, it’s actually sincere.

Other times, like when a woman with bright blue hair asks him about the book's dedication, smiling is the hardest thing to do. “It’s so sweet,” she gushes. “Is Harry’s character based on your mysterious Dom?” Alec’s cheeks flush, because even though he hadn’t used Magnus’ name in the dedication, Magnus had been his secret, his alone, until the book came out. It feels weird for anyone to know that he’s gladly subbed for someone. He also feels miserable because any mention of his- no, not _his- the_ Dom leaves him feeling miserable.

“Yeah,” he answers belatedly. “He, uh, was definitely the inspiration for a lot of Harry’s characterization. At first, I thought about making Harry the antagonist, but Ma-” he clears his throat, “ _he_ told me that was an overused and harmful stereotype about the BDSM community so I restructured the novel to show the truly wonderful parts of BDSM amidst the larger mystery.”

“I loved it,” blue-haired girl almost squeals, clutching her book to her chest. “I’ve never read anything that was so accurate and soft about BDSM. Thank you for writing this.”

“Thank you for reading it,” he replies softly before taking the next question. Distantly he wonders when any mention of Magnus will stop hurting. 

The rest of the month is all book events and marketing and advertising. He has almost daily obligations. It keeps him busy enough to mostly keep from thinking about Magnus. 

Except.

At every book reading, someone asks, without fail, about the dedication in his book. And then his mind turns to Magnus and he wonders if the Dom is scening with someone else, if Magnus ever thinks about him, and he feels sick.

This event is no different in that regard. Alec sits in front of a crowded bookstore and tells the same little anecdote he’d told the blue haired girl at the first reading. It still hurts, but more of a steady ache than a sharp pain, it's something he's learned to live with.

“How long have you been with your Dom?” A young man with glasses and a lisp asks.

Alec tries not to flinch. He keeps his expression carefully composed. “I think that’s a bit personal. But if you have any questions about the book, go ahead.”

The man blushes, but proceeds to ask a question about the kidnapper in Alec’s book and they move on from any dangerous topics that make Magnus sprint to the forefront of Alec’s mind.

It’s during the signing part of the same evening that Alec sees _him._ He happens to glance up from the book he’s currently signing and there _he_ is. At first Alec almost doesn’t recognize Magnus, about to pass off the man as a familiar-looking south asian man. Except, there’s no way he wouldn’t recognize Magnus.

Magnus looks nothing like Alec is used to, dressed in an oversized sweater and khakis, hair flat against his forehead, face devoid of makeup, clutching Alec’s book to his chest. Still, Alec recognizes him and his heart aches.

Magnus’ eyes meet his for a split second and then the other man is turning and practically sprinting out of the book store, leaving Alec aghast, wondering what the hell just happened and if it was all some odd hallucination. 

He spends the rest of the evening caught in his own thoughts, wondering if Magnus had read the book, if he’d _understood._ He wants to know why Magnus had come to the event and why he’d run out. 

Alec considers texting Magnus, but he doesn’t want to have to chase Magnus when the other man very literally ran away from him. So he tries to forget it and move on, as he’s been trying to do since their falling out.

He still dreams of Magnus.

Two days later, all plans of forgetting Magnus fall away. Because, as Alec climbs onto the stool at the front of the Barnes & Nobles, his eyes fall on the familiar figure in the back row.

Magnus looks a bit more like himself now. His hair is styled up and he’s wearing a button-up shirt, a necklace, and an ear cuff. He’s dressed down compared to how Alec is used to seeing him, but at least he doesn’t look like a stranger. Magnus meets his gaze and doesn’t look away, doesn’t run for the exit, though his hand goes to fiddle with his ear cuff. 

Alec doesn’t know how to feel. He’s an odd mix of relieved, pissed off, confused, nervous, and sad. He wants to confront Magnus then and there, demand to know what Magnus is doing, why he’s suddenly showed up with no warning. He doesn’t get the chance because the woman introducing him clears her throat and he’s suddenly reminded that he’s here for a reason. 

He tears his eyes away from Magnus, knowing he’ll never be able to focus if he doesn’t, and looks down at the book in his lap. It’s impossible to pretend the night is like any other, but Alec puts on his best impression, very carefully avoiding looking at Magnus the entire time. He half expects the other man to vanish by the time the reading and questions are done- and Alec blushes his way through his usual explanation of the dedication- but when they move on to the signing, Magnus is still there, joining the back of the line.

Alec’s heart is in his throat as he signs books and tries to give his fans the attention they deserve. But he can’t stop thinking about Magnus and what on earth he’s supposed to say when Magnus reaches the signing table.

He wishes _he_ could turn and run this time.

But he can’t. So he stays and pretends to be focused on his readers and finally, finally, Magnus makes it to the signing table and Alec meets dark eyes that he’s been unable to get out of his memory. He stiffens and prepares for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what will happen next?? :o
> 
> the angst will start being resolved, that's what.
> 
> (please ignore the unrealistic timeline of how quickly Alec's book got published, I didn't want them to be apart for too long!)


	16. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finally tells Alec about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for  
> Discussions of past bad BDSM etiquette  
> Discussions of past abusive relationships  
> Mentions of panic attacks and flashbacks/ PTSD

Alec stares down the Dom, finally noticing how nervous Magnus looks. He won’t stop moving, fidgeting with the book in his hands, his jewelry, his sleeves. It's like he can't stand still and it’s… disconcerting.

Alec is the first to speak, glancing around to make sure his readers have dispersed. “What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping we could talk,” Magnus says slowly, avoiding Alec’s eyes, hunching in on himself. “I owe you an explanation.”

“As I remember it, we’re not together, we were never together, and I’m not even your sub,” Alec answers coldly, crossing his arms as if he can protect his heart. “I thought you didn’t owe me anything.”

Magnus flinches and regret flushes through Alec. Despite everything, he doesn’t want to hurt Magnus- he’d never wanted that, not really. “That was wrong of me. I sincerely apologize for the way I acted that night. I’ll explain everything, if you’ll give me a chance.”

Alec rubs at his temples, pushing down the part of him that wants to jump at the offer, the part of him that still naively hopes for something real. “And you couldn’t just text me about this?”

“I was worried you had me blocked. And… I was worried I would back out." Magnus tugs at his sleeve, eyes downcast. "I want to tell you everything, but… it’s hard for me. I’ve only told three people about Camille and I knew I might back out if we planned something. I didn’t want to hurt you. Again.”

Alec looks down at the signing table, picking up his sharpie to fiddle with it. Part of him thinks he should say no, insist that they don’t speak again so he can find some way to heal, to move on. But when he looks up and Magnus is looking at him, he sees the fear and hope in Magnus’ eyes and he can’t find it in him to turn the other man away. “I’m really busy this month.”

“I understand,” Magnus says, expression hardening as his posture droops. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”

He turns to leave and Alec shoots up out of his seat, fear clenching at his stomach because he can’t watch Magnus leave him again. “Wait. That’s not what I meant.” Magnus turns back, eyebrows raised. “I just… There’s a cafe here. We can talk now, if- if you’re sure.”

Something suspiciously close to a smile, not quite there- still too small and fragile, crosses Magnus’ face. “Entirely. Let me buy you a coffee?”

Alec nods, sliding the sharpie into his pocket. “I need to finish up with the organizers. I’ll meet you over there.”

“Of course,” Magnus agrees easily, not yet stepping away. His eyes roam over Alec and Alec wonders what he sees. He wonders if he looks as vulnerable as Magnus. He hopes not. “Thank you. For giving me a chance.” Before Alec can figure out what to say to that, Magnus is moving towards the cafe, “I’ll get us a table.”

Alec watches him go, letting out a heavy sigh, knowing the night will be a long one, before turning to find the woman who had helped him set up for the event. 

Alec reaches the cafe about twenty minutes later and finds Magnus at a table in a back corner. He's sipping at a coffee cup and staring at the table, seemingly deep in thought. Alec makes his way over, equal parts terrified and hopeful, and clears his throat.

Magnus jolts, looking up. “Alexander,” he breathes, and Alec hadn’t realized how much he’d missed hearing Magnus call him that. “You came.”

“Yeah, of course I did.” He hesitates by the empty chair.

“I’ll get you a drink,” Magnus says, standing up, setting his own coffee on the table, next to a very familiar book. “What would you like?”

“I can-”

Magnus shakes his head,“Please, let me. I owe you this much.”

Alec can’t argue with that. “A mocha. Decaf.”

“Alright.”

While Magnus goes to the counter, Alec sits at the table. His hands itch to grab for Magnus’ copy of his book, to see if the other man has written any notes in the margins. He folds his hands in his lap instead. If Magnus is about to open up to him, the last thing Alec wants to do is push him away by breaking any trust Magnus might have in him.

Magnus returns a few moments later, a cup in hand. “I didn’t know if you wanted whipped cream so I can change it, but-”

“It’s fine,” Alec answers, taking the cup. He sips at it, tasting whipped cream and chocolate syrup. It warms him up, makes him feel a little less vulnerable.

Magnus sinks into the chair across from him. “I really am sorry for showing up out of the blue like this.”

Alec shrugs it off, saying instead, “I saw you at the event a couple days ago.”

To his surprise, a light flush alights Magnus’ cheeks. “I wanted to talk to you then, but… I chickened out. I’d hoped you wouldn’t see me- or recognize me.”

Alec wants to tell Magnus how that would be impossible. He sips at his drink. “What happened, Magnus? Why… that night… everything was fine until Camille showed up and it was like you shut yourself off.”

Magnus sighs, picking at the sticker on his cup. “I didn’t expect her. She’d never been let in to Pandemonium before, for good reason, and it caught me off guard. All of our history came rushing back and I felt… vulnerable. And scared. I lashed out when I shouldn’t have and I'll forever regret that. I do trust you, Alexander." Magnus pauses, swallowing hard, "but seeing Camille, it put me in a bad mindset. I thought I'd ruined the chances of anything between us until, well, until I read your book. And I hoped-” he clears his throat, fiddling with his ear cuff. “I hoped it meant there might be a chance still. At least for me to explain everything. It made me hope you didn’t hate me.”

“I never hated you,” Alec admits, focusing on the way his drink warms his palms. “I don’t think I could.”

“Maybe you should, but I’m glad you don’t.”

There’s a brief pause. Alec sips at his drink. He wants to ask about Camille, about why her presence had affected Magnus so badly, but he doesn’t know how without risking ruining everything.

Magnus speaks after what feels like a small millennia. “Camille is my ex. She wasn’t my first Dom, but dating her was the first time I was in a relationship with my Dom. She was… unkind.”

Alec bites his lip, chest clenching at the pain in Magnus’ voice, the way he won’t look up from the table. 

“She was never blatantly abusive,” Magnus continues slowly. “She never forced me to do anything, but… I trusted her and she took advantage of that. She would test my limits and punish me if I didn’t want to do something. She would berate me for the limits I set, telling me I wasn’t a good Sub, wasn’t a caring boyfriend.” 

Magnus pauses to inhale deeply, before letting it go in a rush. “I did my best to make her happy, in and out of the bedroom. I would feel guilty whenever I couldn’t force myself through a scene, something she did her best to encourage. I tried to give her everything she wanted, but I fell short every time.

“Being with her put me in the worst mental state I’ve ever experienced. Nothing I did was ever good enough, despite my best efforts. I should have gotten help, should have talked to someone, but I was ashamed. And… I thought I loved her, before I knew what love was. I stayed with her until I caught her cheating on me.”

Alec sucks in a breath through his teeth. Every word has picked painfully at his heart and he aches to comfort Magnus. He wants to _destroy_ Camille for making Magnus ever doubt himself, for turning the confident person Alec knows into this shaky, unsure, vulnerable man. Alec wonders how long Magnus has been silently dealing with this, how many times he’d put on a show to mask his pain without Alec noticing. 

“She tried to fix things, but that was enough to finally convince me that I couldn’t stay with her. After that I was terrified to try BDSM again. I met Maia online, by chance, and I told her everything. She encouraged me to get help, told that Camille’s actions weren’t okay. It took some time, but I did eventually realize that I wasn’t… _bad_ for having limits. With Maia’s help, I started Pandemonium with the goal of thoroughly vetting every Dom to protect any vulnerable Subs. I love the club. It’s been incredibly effective and Maia is wonderful at checking with people to ensure that their relationships stay healthy and consensual.”

There’s a soft, sad smile on Magnus’ face when he finally looks up from the table. “I haven’t Subbed for anyone since. I tried, a couple times, but it would trigger panic attacks and flashbacks so I stopped trying and focussed on Domming. I love being a Dom, wielding power, caring for people. And running the club has been so fulfilling... I thought I had gotten past everything with Camille, but when she showed up, it was like no time had passed. I snapped back into that scared, sad shell of a person I was with her. I’m so sorry, Alexander, I never meant to hurt you.”

Magnus’ voice shakes, but he maintains eye-contact. Any anger Alec had harbored has long since vanished and, without thinking, he reaches out to cup Magnus’ hand in his own, curling their fingers together. “I understand.”

Magnus’ eyes widen. “You do?”

“Yeah, Magnus, of course I do. She hurt you in ways I don’t even want to imagine. Of course you wouldn’t react well to suddenly being reminded of that. I get why you freaked out. And I shouldn’t have pushed, but I also felt vulnerable.”

“The book dedication,” Magnus starts softly, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the back of Alec’s hand, “that was… I didn’t expect it.”

Alec flushes, thinking of the words printed at the front of his book. “It’s true.”

Magnus sucks in a breath, “How- how could you think that I- that I’m a good Dom when Ihurt you, when I broke your trust like that?”

Alec shrugs, feeling suddenly shy. But if Magnus can dredge up his painful past to make amends, Alec can explain why he’d written the dedication. “I knew, even then, it wasn’t really about us. I knew you were hurting, I just didn’t understand. And... When we scened together… you’re the perfect Dom, Magnus.”

“Thank you,” Magnus all but whispers. “Please tell me. Did I… did I absolutely ruin any chance of… us? Of having what we did?”

Alec swallows. He wants to say no, wants to soothe that hurt, scared expression on Magnus’ face. But he also has to consider himself and what had happened, though he understands it, still has him feeling a little off kilter. He clutches Magnus’ hand tighter. “No. You didn’t.”

Magnus looks stunned and Alec continues before Magnus can say anything. “I’m not ready to… to go back to that yet. I trust you, but I’m not ready to Sub again.”

“I understand.”

“But…” Alec pauses to summon his courage. Magnus is still holding his hand, still tracing patterns onto his skin, so Alec takes the leap. “I want to be with you. Outside of scenes. I really like you Magnus and, if you’re willing, I’d like to take you on a date.”

He waits nervously for a response from a shell-shocked Magnus. He feels a bit sick waiting, but then Magnus starts to smile. “I would love that.”

“I was going to ask you out that night,” Alec confesses, looking down at their hands. Magnus' skin is warm and soft against his. “I was gathering up the nerve to ask you to come to the bar to celebrate my finishing the book when…”

“Everything went to shit?” Magnus offers, a bit of humor in his voice that has Alec relaxing.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Before everything went to shit.”

Magnus hums. “I would have said yes.”

“And you are? Now?”

“Of course,” Magnus smiles softly back at him. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long time, but you’ve unlocked something in me. I’ll take every chance I get to fix things between us and earn your trust.”

Alec nods, sipping at his mocha. “It’s alright Magnus, just breathe. Let’s start with a dinner- or, lunch? My evenings tend to be busy right now.”

“Lunch sounds perfect,” Magnus responds. “I know a little place downtown with the best Indian food.”

“How’s Sunday?” Alec asks, all of the negative and confusing emotions giving way to hope and quiet happiness. “At noon?”

“I can’t wait.”

Alec knows he should get home, get some sleep before tomorrow rolls around and he has to get back to work. But he’s not ready to leave. He stands abruptly, tugging at Magnus’ hand so the other man rises as well. Alec leans into him, wrapping his arms around Magnus, breathing in sandalwood and falling into the comfort of being held by the man who’d completely changed his life. 

“I still want you to sign my book,” Magnus mumbles against his chest. 

Alec chuckles, taking the risk and pressing a kiss to Magnus’ hair because he thinks he can. Magnus nuzzles into him in response.

“I will,” he promises, but continues to stand there, holding Magnus in the middle of the café in a quiet book store that’s twenty minutes from closing, almost empty but for the two of them. 

Magnus makes a small, happy sound and Alec finally feels like he might be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ANGST IS DONE!  
> (until part 2- yes there will be a part 2!- where Magnus works through his trauma which is a bit angsty but he has an Alec so it's less angsty).


	17. Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus go on a date that ends in Magnus' bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: uh, vanilla sex?

Alec is early. He’s nervous- excited nervous, knowing this is his chance at being with Magnus for real. He’s been telling himself that since Saturday night, but it still hasn't fully sunk in, even though they’ve been texting almost constantly. Little things, asking how the other is doing, sending goodnight and good morning texts and, on one memorable occasion, Magnus had sent a shirtless selfie after his workout. 

Alec waits outside the restaurant, checking his phone and trying to pass the time by responding to some of his publicist’s emails. 

“Alexander.” He looks up at the sound of his own name and can’t keep from smiling when he sees Magnus standing in front of him, eyes sparkling happily. He's done his makeup and donned jewelry, the top buttons of his silk shirt undone. He looks happier and it lifts Alec's spirts. “I thought I was early, have you been waiting long?”

One last glance at his phone before he pockets it confirms that it’s still eight minutes before they’re scheduled to meet. “I got here a little early, I wanted to make sure I found the right place.”

“You did,” Magnus tells him gently. “Shall we?”

“Yeah.” Alec breathes. He kind of wants to lean in and kiss Magnus. Maybe just on the cheek. But, despite all of the dirtier kisses they’ve shared in the past, it feels too early for that. So, instead, he holds the door open for Magnus.

Magnus thanks him shyly and leads the way to the hostess stand where a man shows them to their seats. Alec reads over the menu until a foot taps against his, distracting him. He knocks it back, lightly, feeling a small trill of excitement when Magnus presses their shoes together.

He looks over his menu once more before meeting the other man’s eyes, finding Magnus’ lips turned up at the corner. 

“I missed you,” Magnus admits, a little too seriously for the light atmosphere. It comforts something in Alec, to know he wasn’t alone. 

“Me too.” He taps the toe of his shoe to the heel of Magnus’ and the other man chuckles, reaching across the table to take Alec’s hand in his, interlacing their fingers. It melts something in Alec, feeling the smooth metal of Magnus’ rings and his warm palm. 

“The coconut curry is delicious.”

Alec turns his gaze back to the menu, mouth watering at the food listed. He wants to try all of it. “How’s the rosemary naan?”

“Wonderful, would you like to share it?”

The conversation shifts to food and choosing what to order and by the time the waiter takes their orders, Alec’s nerves have faded away.

Lunch, as a whole, is a surprisingly comfortable affair. Magnus keeps the mood light by cracking jokes and casually flirting with Alec whenever the conversation grows stilted.

After they finish eating and Alec has convinced Magnus to let him pay- arguing that Magnus had paid for coffee the last time they’d met- they gravitate naturally out of the restaurant, falling into step on the pavement, going nowhere in particular. Alec isn’t ready for the date to end. He reaches out, taking Magnus’ hand again because he never wants to stop touching the other man. 

“Tell me about your book?” Magnus asks as the street gives way to a large park. They continue along the sidewalk, shaded by large trees.

Alec raises an eyebrow. “What about it?”

“How did you go from Harry being the bad guy to writing him as this caring, protective, ideal Dom?”

Alec looks down, biting his lip. Lydia had asked him a similar question, but it holds more weight coming Magnus. “You told me making him the bad guy was stereotypical, remember? That BDSM gets bad rep in media.”

“You changed it because of me?” Alec doesn’t understand why Magnus sounds so surprised. Alec had thought it was obvious.

“Yeah, of course I did. Harry is based off you, ya know?”

Judging by Magnus’ wide eyes, he hadn’t known. "And the dedication?"

Alec's face warms as he recites the words at the front of his book, "To the best Dom I have the pleasure of knowing."

Magnus tugs lightly on Alec’s hand to stop him walking. Alec turns and finds Magnus closer than he’d expected, near enough that Alec could easily reach out and close any distance between them. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

Alec chuckles a little breathlessly, eyes darting to Magnus’ lips, suddenly remembering how the other man tastes. “What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t want to overstep. I want to do this right and if that means taking things slow, I have no complaints. I know I screwed up and-”

Alec cuts him off by leaning down and letting their lips slide together. It’s a soft kiss, as chaste as it is sweet, but it has Alec’s toes tingling when he pulls back. “I’ll let you know if something feels like too much or if I’m not ready for something- as long as you do the same, alright?”

“Perfect,” Magnus agrees easily, his freehand going to Alec’s neck, tugging him back down for a slightly longer kiss, Magnus licking teasingly at the seam of Alec’s lips before he pulls away and they continue walking.

They talk about everything and nothing, about  the cats that visit Magnus' balcony and Alec’s book and the way the leaves are beginning to change color. Magus points out every dog he sees and Alec melts every time. 

They end up walking to Magnus’ loft, only a few blocks from the park they’d wandered to. Magnus pauses outside his apartment door, turning to look at Alec, voice soft, “Would you like to come in?”

Alec hesitates. He knows he needs to decide if he's ready to take that next step or if it's time to call an end to their date. It's been perfect and he’s not ready for it to end, but there’s something still holding him back. He takes a breath and admits, “I want to, but I’m not ready to Sub yet.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Magnus hurries to explain, eyes wide. “I know you told me you’re not ready for that and I respect it. I just thought, perhaps, you’d like some tea or- or we could just… make out on the couch. Or,” Magnus hesitates, but then keeps going, “I could Sub for you.”

The idea of having Magnus spread out for him in that way, trusting him with so much after being hurt in the past-- the fact that Magnus would even suggest it, has Alec’s head spinning. He tugs Magnus in for a kiss that’s probably a bit too dirty for the hallway where anyone could see them. But Alec needs to feel Magnus against him. 

“Let’s just… take it one step at a time?” Alec asks when they part, still hovering in each other’s space. Alec can make out the brilliant hues of brown in Magnus’ eyes. 

“Absolutely. Would you like to come in to make out on my couch?” Magnus asks, only a hint of amusement in his voice.

Alec is grinning when he agrees, reluctantly moving back to let Magnus open the door. And he knows the plan was to make out _on the couch_ but as soon as they’re inside, he can’t help himself. He reaches for Magnus again, gravitating towards him, pressing him against the door and sliding their lips together.

Magnus moans, hands curling in Alec’s jacket, tugging him closer, eagerly returning the kiss. Alec lets his hands explore Magnus, running his fingers over the silk shirt Magnus is wearing, teasing at the waistband of his slacks, clutching at his hips. 

Alec pulls back only when he needs to catch his breath, but he stays where he is, keeping Magnus pinned between himself and the door. Magnus, for his part, doesn’t seem to mind, trailing kisses down Alec’s throat and nipping at his jawline.

“Fuck,” Alec breathes when Magnus licks at his pulse point. “Can we… Bedroom?”

“Yes, let’s-” they’re already moving, still entangled, Alec walking backwards, as they make their way towards Magnus’ bedroom, utterly caught up in each other- until Alec’s foot catches and nearly slips out from under him. He grabs at Magnus’ arms and they both wobble before regaining their balance.

Magnus is the first to react, giggles spilling from his lips. The sound is so pure and contagious that Alec can’t help but do the same, kicking off his boots as he laughs, finally letting go of Magnus to avoid anymore mishaps.

Magnus quells his giggles, kicking off his own shoes, “Are you alright?”

“I’m great,” Alec promises, somehow still aroused despite the fumbling. They make it to Magnus’ room without any further issue, but once they’re inside, Alec pauses. He stares at the bed, memories of being tied to it swirling in his mind. It’s enticing, but not what he wants right now.

Magnus’ hand presses gently to his cheek, thumb tracing under his eye. “Just because we’re here doesn’t mean we have to go any further.”

“I want to,” Alec assures him, voice low. He kisses Magnus' palm before drawing the other man closer to share soft, slow kisses. 

There’s still an odd nervousness in Alec’s stomach, reminiscent of the first time he’d stripped for Magnus. Because this, this isn’t just BDSM and it isn't just sex, _this_ is about being as close as he can to Magnus as he can be. It’s nerve-wracking.

Magnus fingers tug at the hem of Alec’s shirt. “Can I?”

“Yeah,” Alec breathes, letting Magnus tug his shirt up and off, tossing it away behind them. For a moment, Magnus just stares, before tracing his fingers gently down Alec’s chest in a way that has him shivering and feeling like something precious. 

In return, Alec begins unbuttoning Magnus’ shirt, slowly revealing more and more beautiful golden skin. Once it's unbuttoned, he pushes the shirt from Magnus’ shoulders, fingers exploring Magnus’ muscular arms. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathes without thinking.

Magnus’ face softens and suddenly they’re kissing again, a slow slide of lips and tongue, full of feeling. 

Magnus’ slacks are the next to go. He steps back to strip out of them, leaving him in tight black boy shorts that draw Alec’s eyes to the bulge at the front. Alec hurries to get his own pants off, nearly tripping again, but it makes Magnus giggle once more so he doesn’t really mind. 

When he does manage to get his pants off, Alec goes still. Because they’re not touching now and he wants to be touching Magnus and he’s not sure how to make that happen. Luckily, Magnus seems to understand, climbing onto the bed, lying on his back and holding out a hand in offering. 

Alec hurries to take it, to get onto the bed. He straddles Magnus' hips, rocking against him, delighting in the pleasure the friction brings. A breathy moan spills from Magnus’ lips and Alec leans forward to catch the next sound Magnus lets out with his own mouth. He nips at Magnus’ bottom lip as Magnus’ hands scratch lightly at his back, clutching him closer. 

“You feel so good,” Magnus murmurs when Alec leans back, letting their eyes meet, still rocking softly against Magnus.

“I missed you,” Alec admits, a bit more emotionally than he intends.

Magnus sits up enough that he can suck marks on Alec’s chest, murmuring against his skin, “Not going to let you go again.”

Alec shivers, rolling his hips harder against Magnus’. The other man's fingers dip into the top of Alec’s boxers in silent question. Alec nods, “Take them off.”

“Gladly,” Magnus breathes, tugging Alec’s boxers down. It takes a bit of rearranging to get them off completely. Alec ends up pressed against the pillows with Magnus between his legs, both of them naked-- and Alec’s mouth waters when he sees Magnus’ dick. He wants to wrap his lips around it, feel it heavy and salty on his tongue. For now, however, he contents himself with tasting Magnus’ lips, fingers grasping at Magnus' sides. Magnus ruts against his hip and Alec groans at the pre-come smearing over his skin, hips jerking up to rub against Magnus’ strong thigh. 

“So pretty,” Alec murmurs when Magnus stares down at him with warm brown eyes, lined with kohl. His hair is ruffled enough- from Alec running his fingers through it- to fall over his forehead. 

“Fuck.” Magnus's eyes fall shut as he chases his own pleasure grinding against Alec. 

Alec rolls up against him, unable to take his eyes off Magnus. “Look at me, please Magnus, let me see you.”

Magnus groans, eyes fluttering back open, pupils blown wide. Alec’s name falls from his lips like a prayer, breathy gasps of, “Alec, Alec, Alec,” that have Alec about to come. Magnus spills over his lower abs, Alec’s name on his lips, beauty in every line in his body. 

Magnus has barely finished before he's reaching down to take Alec in hand. His grip is soft and perfect and Alec is struggling to remember to breathe. When Magnus leans down and connects their lips, it’s over for him and he's following Magnus over that ledge. 

“Perfect,” Magnus murmurs against Alec’s lips before flopping down next to him. Alec is still trying to even his breathing as Magnus reaches over the edge of the bed to retrieve a shirt. He cleans off his own hand and stomach before turning to Alec’s, softly wiping his stomach clean.

Magnus tosses the shirt aside, half-sitting beside Alec, playing with the ear cuff he’s still wearing. 

“What are you doing?” Alec asks quietly, afraid of breaking the comfortable stillness that's settled over them. “Come here.”

Magnus’ reaction is immediate, like he’d been waiting for an invitation to collapse against Alec, the lengths of their bodies pressed tight together, Magnus's head resting on Alec’s chest. Alec interlaces their fingers, using his free hand to brush through Magnus’ hair. It’s not like it was before, but it’s perfect in a new way. Alec holds tight to Magnus, savoring the moment and hoping for many more like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left! And then a brief hiatus before part 2!


	18. Friday Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus makes dinner and they talk about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who helped inspire this fic and especially Lale for endless brainstorming and sending me kinky tiktoks in DMs.

They stay like that for a while, in comfortable silence, Magnus resting on Alec’s chest, hands intertwined. Magnus traces shapes onto Alec’s stomach while Alec combs through Magnus’ hair. It's the sweetest moment Alec’s ever experienced with another person.

It’s Magnus who speaks first, voice quiet and unsure, like he doesn’t want to disturb the peace they’ve created, this little pocket of time just for them. “When do you have to leave?”

“I have an event downtown at seven,” Alec answers, wishing he could blow it off. His publishing team would have his head, but spending more time with Magnus would be worth it.

“I can make us dinner before you leave. If you’d like?” 

Alec hums his agreement, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“We’ll have to get out of bed,” Magnus states, shifting but only nuzzling in closer to Alec, nosing at his throat. 

“Forget dinner, we can stay here,” Alec answers, already tipping his head so Magnus can explore his throat with soft lips.

Magnus chuckles against his skin before pulling back, out of Alec’s reach. “I’m going to shower, you’re welcome to join me, or you can take one after.”

“I’ll join you.” Alec is up in an instant, trailing a very naked Magnus to the bathroom where it’s only a matter of time before they’re exchanging soapy handjobs and heated kisses under a slowly-cooling spray of water.

When they finally make their way into the kitchen, Alec leans against the counter, watching a smiling Magnus begin baking.

Without pausing to overthink it, Alec admits, “I do want to Sub for you again, you know? Eventually, I want to do that again.”

Magnus peeks up at him from where he’s just dumped a cup of flour into a large metal bowl. “You do?”

“I love it,” Alec answers, moving behind Magnus to wrap his arms around the other man’s waist, nuzzling his face into Magnus’ shoulder.  They feel _new,_ but at the same time they're familiar. The scent of Magnus and the feel of him under Alec’s hands makes it easier to speak his mind. “I still think you’re the best Dom in the world, I’m just… nervous.”

Magnus sets down his whisk and folds his hands over Alec’s, leaning back into him. “You have no idea how much those words mean to me. That you still think of me that way, that you still see me as someone you could trust and give yourself to… I thought I’d ruined it all. I- after I left you at the club that night- I dropped, hard.”

“What?” Alec feels a cold rush of fear go through him. He'd known about Subdrop and he’d known, vaguely, that Doms could drop, but he’d never pictured Magnus in that state. Magnus always seemed so put together, so confident, in their scenes. 

Magnus lets out a heavy breath. “You were right that the trust didn’t go both ways, that you were giving more to our scenes. And when I left you, fuck, I hated myself for that as soon as I realized what I’d done. I went back out to find you, but you’d already left and I panicked... I abandoned you.”

“You did not,” Alec protests strongly. “We fought, _after_ a scene, and then you left. You didn’t leave me in Subspace or in a vulnerable mindset, you’d never do that.”

“That’s what Maia told me,” Magnus admits, turning in Alec’s arms enough to bury into his chest. “I went to her for advice and she told me I was an idiot, but not a bad Dom. I still didn’t believe it, especially when- when you didn’t respond to my texts. I deserved it, but… I was so scared.”

Guilt floods Alec at the mention of the texts he’d so pettily ignored, knowing now how Magnus had felt at that moment. He wishes he could go back in time and change it- change the way everything had happened after Camille showed up. He consoles himself by comforting Magnus now, stroking a palm down the other man’s spine. “I’m sorry, that was shitty of me. You were worried and I was angry… Were you… okay? _Are_ you okay? Dropping sounds horrible.”

“It is,” Magnus admits, moving back enough that Alec can see the way his eyes are shining with tears. “It was rough and part of the reason I avoided trying to contact you afterwards. I wanted to fix things, to explain myself, but I was so convinced you would hate me, that I had taken advantage of you. That I had hurt you in a way I never intended. When your book came out… I was terrified to read it.”

“Why?”

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “I was sure you would have kept your original idea, especially after I treated you like that. I thought the Dom would be the villain, I thought I would see myself in him. Maia bought your book first, actually. She read it in one night and then bought me a copy. She insisted, very stubbornly, that I read it right away.”

Alec feels a light flush in his cheeks, but he doesn’t look away from Magnus, _can't_ look away from Magnus.

“It took me a few days before I did,” Magnus admits. “But I was sucked in right away-- your writing, Alexander, is utterly brilliant. I knew right away I would enjoy the way the story was written, even if it did perpetrate negative myths about BDSM. And then… Harry’s character- he was nothing like I expected.”

Magnus steps away, going back to his cooking and Alec leans agains the counter again, fidgeting with his hands. He's known Magnus had read the book, had understood it enough to seek him out, but the knowledge that Magnus had _enjoyed_ the story has Alec flustered. “You liked it? You liked Harry?”

“Of course I did, he was the perfect Dom. He’s everything I aspire to be as a Dom.”

“Magnus, he’s everything that you _are,”_ Alec corrects, stepping in to distract Magnus from his baking again because it’s important Magnus hears this, understands it. He cups Magnus’ cheeks in his hands, making eye contact. “I told you before, you inspired his character. Every choice Harry made- it was based off of you. I dedicated the book to you because you’re everything I want in a Dom.”

Alec isn’t sure what he expects Magnus to do, but he’s caught off the guard when Magnus dives forward, crashing their lips together, clinging to Alec for dear life. 

“Fuck,” Magnus breathes against his lips. “You’re perfect. And I promise to do better, to talk to you in the future, about my feelings and my past- anything you want to know. You deserve everything.”

“Just… don’t shut me out. Alright?” Alec asks slowly. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, or can’t, talk about something when you’re feeling vulnerable, but let me be there with you.”

“I promise,” Magnus breathes, sliding their lips together in what's so chaste it barely qualifies as a kiss. “Now stop distracting me so I can finish these pancakes.”

“Pancakes?” Alec looks over Magnus’ shoulder at the bowl of batter. “Isn’t it a little late for pancakes?”

Magnus turns on him with narrowed eyes and a teasing indignation in his expression. “It’s never too late for pancakes.”

Alec chuckles at Magnus’ intensity. “I think five pm is a little late for a breakfast food.”

“Pancakes are an all day food,” Magnus argues, retrieving a bag of chocolate chips while Alec watches wearily.

“I didn’t know you had such strong opinions on pancakes.”

Magnus hums, dumping chocolate chips into the batter without any clear form of measurement. “Pancakes are one of the simple joys of life, Alexander. And I guarantee you’ve never had them like this.”

“I’ve never had them with chocolate chips or- are you adding pumpkin?” Alec is suddenly very scared to find out what Magnus’ cooking tastes like.

“You've let me tie you up, flog you, and dribble hot wax on your bare skin, but pumpkin pancakes is where you draw the line?”

Magnus’ lips are turned up in amusement, but Alec feels a shot of heat course through him at the reminder of all the things they've done together. “You’re not even measuring the ingredients,” Alec complains, forcing his dirtier thoughts to the back of his mind and watching Magnus sprinkle cinnamon into the batter.

“I’ve done this dozens of times, trust me.”

There’s a brief pause, a small moment of quiet discomfort as they both realize what Magnus had said. 

Magnus clears his throat, pulling out a pan, very clearly avoiding Alec’s eyes. “I didn’t mean-”

“I know. And I do- trust you, that is. I’ll try your weird pancakes.”

The smile the simple words bring to Magnus’ face is worth any amount of odd, likely disgusting, food that Alec is sure he’ll be forced to endure soon enough. He still remembers the time Isabelle tried to make pumpkin bread and their family had to sit through a meal of poking at dark pink bread. He’s still not sure where the color came from.

Magnus pours pancake batter into the pan as he says, “Yesterday-- I may not have been ready for it at the moment, but I meant it. I’d like to Sub for you, at some point, if it’s something you’re interested in.”

Alec blinks a couple times, staring at the tense lines of Magnus’ shoulders and back. “What about Camille? The panic attacks and flashbacks? Why would you want to do that?”

“Because,” Magnus says slowly, checking the bottom of a pancakes with a spatula. He doesn’t flip it. “I enjoy subbing, when it’s with a considerate Dom. And I trust you. I can’t promise it would be easy, that I wouldn’t freak out and have to start small and- never mind, ignore me.”

He tries to play it off with a wave of his hand before flipping the pancake. Alec makes an unhappy noise. “Magnus, talk to me.”

Magnus sighs, shoulders slumping, still turned away. “I wouldn’t be a good Sub, for a while. There’s so much I can’t do, might not ever be able to do again. It was a stupid idea.”

“It isn’t stupid if it’s something you want. I would never rush you to anything and- regardless of what you’re ready for, I know you would be a good Sub because you’re you. Remember what you told me? Setting limits doesn’t make you a bad Sub.”

“Thank you,” Magnus says softly, retrieving a plate and transferring the first completed pancake onto it. 

“And I am interested. If it’s really something you enjoy,” Alec says lowly, accepting the plate and moving to sit behind the counter. He's still nervous about tasting the pancake despite the delightful aroma that’s filled the kitchen. 

“You are?” Magnus sounds almost nervous as he starts another pancake. “You would want that?”

“Yeah,” Alec pokes at his pancake. “With you? Of course I do.”

Magnus finally looks up, wonder in his eyes. Until he sees the pancake, still completely intact. Before he can call Alec out on it, Alec is carving out a piece with his fork and shoveling it into his mouth, preparing his best fake smile.

Except. The pancake is perfect, soft and gooey and reminding him of a cookie. He savors the taste before swallowing his bite. “This is amazing.”

“I knew you would like it!” Magnus announces triumphantly. “There’s whipped cream in the fridge, it’s the perfect addition.”

Alec retrieves the whipped cream because he’s not about to start doubting Magnus now. When the other man joins him at counter, Alec links their ankles, still needing to be touching Magnus. He thinks they have a real chance at making this work and he can't wait to know every bit of Magnus. “Friday night, I finish work at four.”

“Oh?” Magnus asks, arching a brow. 

“And,” Alec continues, “I know an ice cream shop near my apartment that I’d love to show you.”

Magnus grins back at him. “I would love to go with you. Friday night it is.”

Alec reaches for Magnus' hand, interlacing their fingers. “Friday night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh the last chapter!! This is so much longer than I anticipated when I first had the idea and I'm so grateful for all the lovely comments y'all have left. Part 2 will start being uploaded... soonish-- likely sometime in January-- under the title Domination. You can follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AceOn_Ice) for updates or subscribe here to be emailed when it's posted!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> The [Malec discord server](https://discord.gg/eKSCJDWZ) is a great place to meet more malec fans if y'all want to join :)


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